The first two weeks of November, we focused on who we are and what we are proud of. It feels natural that this week, we focus on who we want to be. We can begin to feel that who we are is out of our control or down to our circumstances. I believe that it is more than that.

I believe who we are is a choice. Who we are is who we choose to be. Take a moment and think about who your best self is. Imagine every aspect of who your best self is. How does your “best self” act? How does your “best self” speak? How does your “best self” think?

Take time to contemplate your real answers, not the ones you assume you are supposed to have. For example, everyone’s “best self” is not a happy-go-lucky picture of positivity.  Not everyone’s “best self” is outgoing and social. This is about your “best self.” Who you would be in your best moment. To help imagine who your “best self” is, every day this week finish this sentence: “I will be….” When writing this sentence, consider what aspects of yourself will create more good days than bad. Be true to yourself. Be honest about who your “best self” would be.

A negatively primed person will doubt that their “best self” is obtainable and will see all of the obstacles in between who they are now and who they want to be. Just remember that this journey starts by giving yourself permission to imagine who your authentic “best self” is. Giving yourself permission to imagine invites creativity in, and creativity is one of the necessary elements to becoming your “best self.”

A positively primed person will have a highly idealized version of their “best self” and may not contemplate whether that is truly who their “best self” is. The idealized version does not allow for a flawed best self and can result in the pursuit of the “perfect self.” It is helpful to keep in mind that “perfection” leads to discomfort for self and the people around “perfection.” The “best self” is not perfect–it is customized to fit one person, and that person is you. Try to keep it real and obtainable.

A neutrally primed person may struggle to focus on just who they would imagine. During the imaginative process they may begin to borrow from societal and cultural norms of what “best” is. Instead, I recommend thinking about what you value. What attributes feel “right”? What aspects of “self” feel “best”? By considering what you truly value, your “best self” will emerge.