Something I really enjoy about my marriage is that it has always been about turn-taking. Sometimes it is all about me and sometimes it is all about Chad. Some it is even all about Rasta. We each get a turn for it to be all about us. This past year was all about Chad finding his bliss. It is very gratifying for me to be able to support the family financially and allow Chad to take the year off from work. This was a year for Chad to explore what he wanted to do with himself professionally. After Chad earned his PhD, the only opportunities to join academia would have required us to move and my practice was thriving, making it impractical. That and Chad was unsure if his heart was truly in academia and I would only move if he could promise it would be the last move, which it was almost guaranteed not to be. We had allocated 2 years for Chad to find himself and in typical Chad fashion he did it in 13 months. It is nice that he is able to see what he wants and go for it. It is hard that he often goes for it before he talks to me about it. Part of our dynamic is that he knows me very well and is very accurate in his perceptions of how I will react. He knows what I will and what I won’t agree with, so there is rarely the risk of him doing something I am greatly opposed to. To his credit, the very few times I have been opposed he has allowed me to take us in a different direction, which I greatly value.

I have also greatly valued the trust Chad put in me and my practice. Having a private practice means not having a guaranteed income. Clients can suddenly stop therapy or go on vacation without warning. It feels good to have practice that is balanced and consistent. It feels good to be able to provide for my family. The past 13 months of taking care of all of our bills have left me feeling proud. I love that can take care of my man. This is especially true in Chad’s case because he has always taken good care of me. It is nice that it was choice and not a necessity. That we made the choice together for him to explore the type of work life balance he would enjoy. It is also gratifying that Chad was able to pick and choose which opportunities he would pursue and rule many out that would have been a bad fit. It feels good to have permanent residency and financial stability. As a former foster child, I value stability highly. I value knowing where home is and that I won’t randomly be told I need to leave a place that has become home to me. The last few months were hard on me because I was so sick and I am happy that I am in a good enough space to share that our life is good. I currently am having more good days than bad.