Japanese furniture, flooring, and other things starting with F. Big question of the episode: Can you replace pleather with transparent tape?

Transcript

K: So, lately I’ve been thinking about furniture in Japan.

C: That is not what tabling the discussion means.

K: (laughs) Okay, I don’t know if that one’s funny or a surprise. What do you think?

C: I think it’s funny.

K: I think it was more of surprise with a ridiculous surprise.

C: Yeah?

K: Yeah. Because I often laugh when you say something ridiculous. (laughs)

C: Which is also funny.

K: Ridiculously funny. You’re ridiculously funny. I think we can both agree on that.

C: Thank you. Yes.

K: So, I’ve ben thinking a lot about furniture because 1) I need a new chair at the office, and I’ve been putting it off, but it sheds so horribly, and I feel just like oh my gosh, everyone must think I am so just hella ghetto because I have cello tape, scotch tape, on pieces of the chair that are shedding because it’s vegan leather.

C: It’s pleather.

K: Yeah. I call it pleather, but people like vegan leat- blegh, vegan leather better than saying it’s pleather. It’s plastic. It’s a thin film of plastic over fabric that gives it a leather look. And so… for me, I need to get a new chair, but instead of going and getting a new chair, I’m just putting tape where the pleather’s starting to fade. And in the United States, I would’ve used black electric tape, but I can’t find any black electric tape here, so I’m using clear scotch. Just plain old scotch tape.

C: Okay, so not even three minutes in, I have a digression this time. Usually it’s you starting them. You’re usually the one that falls for digression, but

K: What?

C: Yeah. It reminds me of when your bag fell apart in the Tokyo airport. Your pleather bag.

K: (laughs) That was horrible.

C: It was horrible.

K: It just happened all of a sudden, too. And I loved that bag.

C: But you hadn’t used it in a while. It had been in the closet. And we were taking a trip, so you grabbed it, you were like “this is going to be my carry-on.” 

K: Yeah.

C: And then it just started just shedding. It was like… it was like the old Peanuts cartoon. Just pig-pen levels of like stuff just flying off of it.

K: Yes. I was like “what is this?” Because it was just falling everywhere.

C: Just a rubbery black dust was covering everything in your bag.

K: Yes. 

C: So we ended up buying your current bag

K: It’s actually red. 

C: Right. But the outside was red, but there were black parts too because underneath the

K: Yeah it was striped and everything. Yeah.

C: So, we ended up buying your current bag at the Tokyo airport out of necessity because that bag was like a biohazard.

K: Yeah. And so I wonder if I should just scrub the pleather off of it because it’s still a good chair in all other respects.

C: I don’t know if there’d be anything left. I think what you’re looking for is reupholster it. Should you reupholster it.

K: No. I’m saying what I mean. I mean just peeling it off. 

C: Horrified look.

K: Yeah. I just want to peel it off, but right now I’m just using scotch tape because I was like “what is this black crap all over my floor?” Like every time I sit down, there’s black crap all over my office floor. So, Japan doesn’t really sell leather. It sells like leather belts, but it doesn’t – it’s not big on leather.

C: Yeah. For furniture and such.

K: Yeah.

C: I think because the moisture properties because everything in Japan – home furnishing-wise – seems designed to deal with either your apartment being too humid or too dry. There’s no happy middle. It’s just your apartment is going to be too humid to too dry, and it might switch from those depending on the season.

K: Yeah. And, so, I’ve also been thinking about flooring. Because we need to get our home refloored.

C: Right.

K: And I don’t know what to use for flooring because I’m a sucker or a rolling chair. I love a rolling chair. And I think well, crap, no matter what flooring we get, the rolling chairs are going to tear it up. Because it’s this thin… it’s wood-esque. I mean technically it’s wood.

C: It’s a wood veneer over a plastic base.

K: Yeah. For soundproofing.

C: Right.

K: So, I don’t know what to do. I’m just so confused because I love a rolling chair.

C: Area rugs for the rolling chairs?

K: No. And I hate area rugs. I absolutely hate area rugs.

C: Mmm.

K: So like the process, we’ve been in this – our current home – for like ten years now.

C: Twelve years, actually.

K: Yeah. And I still don’t know how to live here. I’m still figuring it out because I love a rolling chair. Although in the United States, I didn’t use a rolling chair. But we didn’t puzzle. 

C: Yeah.

K: And the chair that I sit on for the rolling chair is pleather, and it’s starting to come apart. And so I need to stay away from – I don’t’ know, every chair is made out of pleather in Japan.

C: I think we could probably find ones that were entirely cloth.

K: You think

C: Yeah, I think so.

K: So yeah. So if you guys know where to find cloth chairs in Japan, seriously, hit us up because I’m in desperate need.

C: No. I’m telling you; we could find chairs with cloth. Because I purchased cloth chairs for the local office of my previous job.

K: You did not find those at Nitori.

C: Yes, those were at Nitori.

K: Okay, but the cloth chairs that

C: I’m not saying we would like those chairs in particular. I’m just saying they were

K: Yeah because those chairs, I think of them as the punishment chars. 

C: That’s why I’m not saying 

K: Because they’re hard.

C: I’m not saying we would like those chairs in particular, just that I think cloth chairs are available.

K: I want soft – yeah, soft, fluffy chairs.

C: Yeah. Now, like, the big massaging chairs – it’s hard to say what those are made of because it’s always occupied.

K: They’re made of pleather, too. 

C: Are they? 

K: Yes.

C: I thought they were made of people playing video games. Because that’s what I always see in them. 

K: (laughs) No, people napping. 

C: The other day, I was at Edion, the local electronics store, and there was a mix. There was people napping, and then there was five or six people playing their Nintendo switch.

K: Okay, that’s interesting.

C: Yeah, I thought so too. You’re just like chilling at the electronics store playing your own game.

K: (laughs)

C: When I was younger, we did it right, we played the store’s games.

K: (laughs) Well, the store advertises like “hey, stop by on your way from home.”

C: Yeah.

K: On your way from the subway to home. Stop by and relax a bit before you go home.

C: Mmm.

K: So it’s usually men who are doing it. I don’t really see any women.

C: I didn’t see any women when I was there last time. I’ve seen them before.

K: I’m one of the few women who will sit down because I always need to sit down.

C: Mhm.

K: And I think that’s because of the impact of having scoliosis. I have really mild, mild, mild scoliosis, but it does impact

C: Do you sit in the massage chairs?

K: No. I just sit down.

C: Yeah, that’s different.

K: And also my lupus makes my joints hurt. Just hurt. My knees are bad.

C: That’s different. Because I see a lot of people sitting down on the benches and things. I’m talking just the full-on massage chairs with the wrap-around that it massages your legs and everything.

K: Yeah, I totally want one of those.

C: Very popular for sleeping and gaming in.

K: Yeah, but when we sat in one in the airport in China, I didn’t like it.

C: No.

K: I felt like “this is just uncomfortable and crappy. This is not good.”

C: Yes. And we had like a ten-hour layover, so that wasn’t helpful.

K: Yeah. I want one of those full-leg sleeves that people use for lumpadermia or lympadermia, whatever. Lympadermia. When your lymph nodes are inflamed and you can’t – it no longer processes your fluid correctly, and you need to get squished. You don’t want me to get one because they’re super noisy, and you have noise sensitivity.

C: Yes.

K: But I want one. For the record.

C: They go like RRRRRRRR Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha RRRRRR all day.

K: (laughs) I’m not even here all day. It would just be for like an hour a night.

C: You say that now.

K: Oh, you’re saying like one day when I retire, it’ll be just full-on all day every day in my machine getting squeezed.

C: Yeah. I’ll be like “where is the sprinkler going off” nope, that’s not a sprinkler. That’s the chair.

K: Why do you think it would be a sprinkler?

C: Because I think it has the period when it inflates and makes noise and then when it inflates, it lets go, and it makes noise when it lets go. 

K: Okay. So, in addition to getting our floors redone, we need to get our wallpaper redone. Which I’ve been meaning to do the entire time we’ve lived here. I’ve been like saying “this is the year” because I don’t like white walls. And all of ours walls – well, they used to be white. And now they’re like… I don’t know, beige? (laughs)

C: Yeah. We have what

K: White naturally fades. It’s not like fingerprints or anything.

C: We have what’s sometimes called the trash wallpaper. And it’s just a standard white wallpaper in Japan. This particular kind is

K: Yes. Why didn’t we order different wallpaper when we moved in? Why didn’t we – because I remember them showing us flooring, and I think because you were handling it we didn’t.

C: I was handling it. It was like 10,000 dollars to change the wallpaper.

K: Okay, that’s why we didn’t do it. Because that’s ridiculous.

C: Yeah.

K: A million yen to change the wallpaper?

C: Yeah. 

K: Are you kidding me?

C: No, I’m not kidding you.

K: So you think that’s how much it’s going to cost to get our wallpaper done?

C: No, when I looked at it, it would cost less to get our wallpaper to be redone. Because we’ve been talking about this for a while, I looked into it. It would cost less for our wallpaper to be redone, but maybe more for our flooring to get redone.

K: Mmkay. The flooring’s a quandary. I have no idea what to do. Because we’ve got – so our floors are in pretty good condition except for where I sit. And then they’re thrashed. Because the place where I sit and puzzle, I like to roll around when I puzzle. I don’t know why I like to roll around, but I do.

C: I don’t know. It has resulted in little slivers of veneer coming up. And some of the boards are entirely stripped.

K: And then I like… I’m a good person, so I roll my chair back and forth in that groove, so that there’s no splinter.

C: Yeah, you do. I hear you do it, and I wince.

K: You do not. You are being so dramatic right now.

C: I don’t show it to you because when you’re doing it, I think “don’t interrupt her being a good person.”

K: Thank you. 

(laughter)

C: But I think “I wish she wouldn’t do that. I wish she wouldn’t crunch it down.”

K: But that’s like, the grooves because I’m trying to now fuck up the rest of the floor.

C: Mmm. Okay.

K: like geez Louise. And then our beds are another conundrum. I feel like we finally have a configuration of bed that’s super, super comfy, but my bed – the way I sleep, it floats down to the bottom. So our bed, I think we may have described our beds before. 

C: Yeah, I think we did.

K: Our beds are a wood slat, like basically the crates that you see at the

C: Like a pallet crate but a little bit smaller and thinner, designed specifically for putting futons on.

K: Yeah. And then we have the very first futon we ever purchased.

C: Yeah. 15 years ago.

K: Yeah. A 15-year-old futon. And then we have – now I have to look at our layers.

C: And then like

K: Oh no, our first layer is our brand-new thick futon. 

C: Our top layer is now the oldest futon, I think.

K: No, not our top layer. So I’m actually taking our bed apart very excitedly because all you have to do is lift up a corner. So we bought these really thick futons that I don’t think that – I feel like they’re too firm for my preference. It’s a really firm, hard futon.

C: Yeah.

K: And then we have the futon that I bought 15 years ago, that you were very upset that I bought because they were super expensive for futons, and you thought they would never last. Well, guess what mister.

C: They’ve lasted.

K: Thank you. Do you submit

?

C: Yes, I do.

K: (laughs) Admit it. And then we have a brand-new fluffy futon that we bought with the hard one. And then – I don’t know, when did we get the pillow-top futons? Like ten years ago?

C: Yeah, maybe ten years ago.

K: Yeah. So our bed is anywhere between 15 years old and a year old. The layers of our bed.

C: And every time we get new layers, I say “I won’t take this laying down.” And then I do.

K: I’m just like whistling tumbleweeds. I don’t know how to whistle, so I’m just saying whistling tumbleweeds.

C: Yeah. I apologize for using the transitive form in an intransitive manner. I know that’s why the tumbleweeds.

K: Whistling tumbleweeds. Just.. I don’t know why the tumbleweeds are whistling, but they are.

C: Yeah. Because they’re happy.

K: Okay. And then our pillows are… I guess, 15 years old?

C: Not that old. We replace our pillows more than that because they fall apart. I think they’re like five years old.

K: You think our pillows are five years old? Oh yeah because we had our pillows from the U.S. that were almost twenty years old.

C: Yeah. 

K: Because I brought my old pillows into the relationship, and you brought your own pillows into the relationship.

C: And they developed holes, and they had to be put out of their misery.

K: Yeah.  But I

C: They had to be put down.

K: Oh my gosh. Are you serious?

C: (laughs) Yes. 

K: You’re in a space. You’re in a mental space.

C: Yes, I am in a space.

K: And then we have like… two of our couch pillows that are twenty years old 

C: Yeah.

K: And I love them. I use the for my pillows. 

C: Those are still holding up great.

K: Yeah. Because you stole my body pillow.

C: Yeah. Which is falling apart after only a couple of years, so the couch pillows, which were made by La-Z Boy, or at least sold by La-Z Boy, are holding out much better.

K: This pillow is doing fine. The outer layer of the pillow, the pillowcase that it’s in, is falling apart. The pillow itself is not.

C: Yes. And that is very inconvenient. 

K: Yeah. So, out bed, though – the problem with our bed because they’re layered is that they slip. And so, if we’re having a lie in for that day, I have to pull my bed at least two to three times to get all the stacks back in alignment. And the stacks are different lengths.

C: Yes, they are. That doesn’t help. Different lengths, different widths.

K: I keep having a fantasy of having, something like a dart or something, that I could just put in the corners and attach it that wouldn’t cause the beds to totally deravel and just ruin the beds.

C: Double-sided Velcro tape. I’ve ben saying this for a while.

K: Yes. We totally need to get it, but where’s a fetish shop? 

Maybe we should order it online.

C: I think we could probably just get it at the DIY shop. At Tokyu Hands.

K: Okay.

C: I don’t think we need to go to a fetish shop for

K: (laughs) That shows you where our life has been.

C: If you’re wanting to go to a fetish shop, we can discuss that separately.

K: (laughs) No, babe. You know what I’m talking about. Like when you want to do bondage-lite and you use Velcro instead of ties.

C: Okay, yes.

K: Which we never did. TMI. 

(laughter)

C: Okay. The noise. I don’t like the noise of Velcro.

K: Yes. Correct. And who wants to pretend to be tied down? If you’re going to tie me down, you better tie me down.

C: thank you.

K: right? But we know about it because they sold it at the fetish shop we used to go to.

C: Yeah.

K: But we never purchased it. So, would you like the Velcro on the beds? Do you think – so are you thinking of getting really super strong Velcro?

C: That’s what I’m thinking. Because Velcro, the strength of it is usually related to the area of contact. 

K: Okay.

C: So we just get patches of Velcro and put them on the beds, and then stick the beds together. And then because we’re not going to be undoing them all the time, the noise and everything is no big deal. 

K: Okay. So when are we going to do that?

C: Probably a couple years from now.

K: (laughs) So

C: So probably like 2022 or so.

K: So, in Japan, for the table that we liked, it only came with rolling chairs. 

C: Yeah. It came as a set. So it was really reasonably priced. It was like a third of the price of a lot of the tables we looked at that did not come with chairs.

K: And now I know why. Because rolling chairs jack up all the flooring in Japan.

C: Yes.

K: There’s not a single floor – except you know, say what you want about the tatami mats

C: No, they destroy the tatami mats. I was reading about it. 

K: No they do not. I have a rolling – set of rolling chairs – on my tatamis in my office because both the rooms have tatami. So in my office, it’s a 2dk, which is a two-room dining room kitchen setup. And in the two rooms, both of them have tatami flooring. And tatami is basically grass that’s ben dried and then made into a mat and then put down as flooring.

C: They have several layers. So that’s just the top layer. It’s got different layers below it and such.

K: Yeah. So in my tatami room, like both of them are tatami rooms, in my teaching room – because I have a teaching room and a therapy room because when I work with kids I usually have to teach them stuff. And then my therapy room is just talk therapy.

C: See, and I think of that as your conference room and your therapy room. 

K: Why is it a conference room? I don’t hold conferences anymore.

C: But you used to.

K: Ugh, and I hated it. I don’t like holding conferences. I really don’t.

C: Yeah.

K: So, I don’t do that anymore. So it’s my teaching room.

C: Okay.

K: Because I teach in that room.

C: Yes.

K: And even the conferences would be teaching. Because I am schooling fools. (laughs)

C: Yeah?

K: Yeah. High-five. (laughs)

C: Yeah. You’re ridiculously funny. 

K: That was a very resistant high-five, but you’re chuckling. They just can’t hear your laugh because you laugh really soft. Have you guys ever heard Chad’s laugh?

C: Oh, I’ve laughed. 

K: (laughs) 

C: Whether or not they heard me

K: You were laughing just now when you said it. But I’m wondering if they have actually heard your deep belly laugh where you actually make noise. 

C: Well, not if this is their first podcast. We ain’t going to podcast shame.

K: How would I be – oh podcast shaming the people who haven’t heard the other episodes?

C: Yes.

K: Why would that be podcast shaming them?

C: I don’t know.

K: Why wouldn’t that be gentle encouragement to go back through the other episodes to hear your glorious and beautiful laugh?

C: Oh, good point.

K: I kind of stuttered after beautiful. Because I thought tinkling and it’s not tinkling. 

C: It’s not.

K: At all.

C: No.

K: And neither is imine. Mine is a cackle, but I love my cackle. I get compliments on it.

C: See, you’ve got a cackle, I’ve got a crackle. Because my wrist today is just (cracking sound)

K: I hate that noise. 

C: Yeah. I hate that feeling, but my wrist hurts if I don’t do it.

K: (laughs) You know I hate when you do that. So, hey, I roll in my spot, you pop your joints at me. 

C: Yeah.

K: And you’re beat red because you know I hate it, hate it, hate it.

C: Well, because it’s the wrist I hurt in the accident. It’s been six years since that happened. 

K: It’s been six years since the accident??

C: It has been. I had a bicycle accident, and it was pretty bad.

K: But we call it the accident.

C: Yeah.

K: And it changed your nose shape.

C: It did yes.

K: So, anyways, back to furniture in Japan. So, I like this setup better than getting a Western bed, even though it slides and everything. For some reason, it’s more comfortable to me than the whole rigamarole of the Western bed. I think mainly because we didn’t have to figure out how to throw away any futons. 

C: Yeah. I go back and forth. Sometimes, I think it would be nice to have a bed, and then I think they don’t sell the right size here and getting sheets and everything. We’d end up with two beds because the biggest bed that you can get without special ordering it is usually smaller than a queen. 

K: Yeah. It’s a California full, even though they call it a Japanese queen.

C: Yeah.

K: (laughs) I don’t know why they would be calling it a Japanese queen. A Japanese queen is an American full. 

C: Yeah. And so it’s

K: Which is bigger than a double. 

C: Yeah. 

K: So it goes single, double, full, queen, king, California king.

C: Here in Japan

K: Because everything’s not bigger in Texas. A California girl can tell you things are bigger in California.

C: In Japan, it’s single, semi-double, 

K: Why am I picking a fight with Texans?

C: I don’t know. 

K: (laughs) 

C: Single, semi-double, double, queen, 

K: Okay, what are you saying now? I completely ignored you.

C: Japanese bed sizes are single, semi-double, double, and queen. 

K: Yes. But the single is like a toddler bed.

C: (laughs)

K: To me it sems like a toddler bed. And then the semi-double feels

C: We have the semi-doubles.

K: Yeah. The semi-double feels like a single.

C: Right.

K: And then the double feels – the double feels like a double to me.

C: Yeah.

K: And then the queen is a full.

C: Yeah.

K: That’s my ranking. How do you rank them?

C: I rank them like this: single is like, I don’t know what I did wrong.

K: (laughs)

C: Is this surplus prison supply? That kind of thing. The semi-double is like a bed for one person. The double is a bed for two young people or one person who likes to starfish a lot. And then the queen is just not suitable for anybody. 

K: Our son has a double, and him and his girlfriend – sorry if it’s TMI – are very comfortable on it.

C: Like I said. Young people. 

K: Yeah. And thin people. Because we’re quite large.

C: Yes.

K: Yeah.

C: And for our U.K. listeners, quite means very.

K: So we have a Western kitchen table kin that when you stand up it comes up to your waist, but they do sell the low-rise Japanese kitchen tables where you can sit cross-legged underneath them, and then that’s the perfect height. And they have legless chairs that when you sit on the chair, the weight of your body allows you have a back of the chair kind of thing. 

C: Right. 

K: And we toyed with getting those because I was – but we have a semi-Western kitchen. The reason why I feel like it’s semi-Western is because it’s the perfect height for someone who’s 5’4” and shorter to do things

C: Yeah.

K: But if you’re over 5’5” the height of it’s a little bit low.

C: Yeah, the counters are kind of low for me to cook and wash dishes. Washing dishes especially. I have to lean over at a weird angle and it’s painful.

K: Yeah. Washing dishes at my height hurts my back a bit.

C: I feel like the reason that we didn’t do the low table is because both of us really needed to stretch our legs out.

K: Yeah.

C: And when you’re in bed, you can stretch your legs out because you just lie down and stretch your legs out.

K: Yeah.

C: But I wanted a place to be able to set up. And then I have, uh… portable tables that I use for computing and doing my work and such. 

K: Yeah. I think of them as tray tables. 

C: Yeah. They’re – I mean, when I was young, we called them t.v. trays. But they’re the kind that don’t sit on the bed, they sit on the floor and are regular table height. 

KK: So, we have… depending on how you look at it, we have either a 4LDK or a 3LDK. I think we have a 3LDK.

C: Officially, it’s classified as a 4LDK. 

K: Okay.

C: And there are laws regulating

K: But where is the living room?

C: The living room is actually where we have our dining rom. 

K: Then where’s the dining room?

C: The dining room is the hallway between the living room and this room.

K: Yeah, they did have it set up like that.

C: Yeah.

K: I don’t agree with them at all. But I remember one of the, the showplace that we went into. 

C: Yeah.

K: Yeah. Because we have a floating door. Which I love our floating door.

C: Right. And we’re the only apartment in the building with a floating door, so

K: (laughs) Are we really?

C: Yeah. We asked for it specially.

K: Yeah, we did. But they offered it. Why didn’t everybody go for it? It opens up – I love an open floor plan.

C: It was significantly more expensive to get it done.

K: Okay. So, when we first moved in – so for me, learning how to live in this apartment has been really, really hard.

C: Mhm.

K: It’s been uphill both ways in the snow because it’s nothing like any place I’ve ever lived in in the United States. There are absolutely no counter space in the kitchen, and very little cabinet space in the kitchen. And the cabinets are shallow. And we don’t have any tatami room, but we have a room that’s supposed to be a tatami room. So it’s supposed to be the room for entertaining guests, so when we first moved in – I think I rearranged the house three or four times.

C: Yes.

K: When we first moved in, we had the room with the sliding door – that was our living rom. And then our dining room was where our living room should have been. And we had the front bedroom on the left-hand side, and Rasta had the front bedroom on the right-hand side. And the tatami room was your office. And then – sorry Rasta, but I’ve got to tell your truth man – then Rasta was acting a fool and just made me so angry one day that I took everything from him but his mattress and moved him into your office. And threw a mattress on the floor in your office, and that was (laughs) that was his room. It was just a mattress, his computer, and that was it. 

C: And he was like “sweet, I like this room. Let me have this room.”

K: (laughs) Not at the beginning. He was really sad about it at the beginning. But now today he claimed that he has no video games in his room – the other day, he and I were talking, and he was like “yeah, I have no video game systems because when I lost my room they were all taken from me, and I can’t – I still can’t have them back.” (laughs) And I said, “yes you can.” And he said “no, dad told me I could never have them again.”

C: I did not tell him that. I told him “come and get them whenever you want, you can’t take my PS4.”

K: Okay, so I think he probably only wants the PS4. And I said

C: Which I bought after he moved out, so it’s not even like it comes with a fond memory of his.

(laughter)

K: So yeah. So, then it was just like his old room stuff, and you had no office. So then we cleared out all of his old room stuff, which is still on our balcony. We need a special sticker to throw them away, but it’s a whole thing. So it’s out on our balcony. All of his old bedroom because he lost his bed frame and all of that. So then his room became your bedroom. He was out here in the tatami room. And then our bedroom was just pitch black, and I didn’t like it, and I wasn’t comfortable, so I moved into our living room.

C: Mhm.

K: And closed the sliding door, but really it’s open because nobody comes over to visit because we puzzle. And hello, 

C: We don’t trust people with our puzzles.

K: Right?

C: What if they walk off with a piece? 

K: Thank you. I’m so convinced that if someone comes over, they’re taking a puzzle piece.

C: Right?

K: Like our own son when he comes over is not allowed to go near the table.

C: Okay because people will take a puzzle piece and be like “I feel like I finally understand Chad and the autism.”

K: What are you talking about?

C: The puzzle piece, they’ll be looking at it like “this is the autism. Puzzle piece.”

K: What are you talking about?

C: I’m talking about the logo for a particular autism

K: (laughs) And I’m sitting here thinking of our actual puzzle we’re doing right now, and I’m like “which piece says autism? Which piece has anything to do with autism?”

C: (laughs) None of them. That’s the answer. None of them.

K: I’m like going through – I’m like “we haven’t done the edges yet, is there something I don’t know in the edge of this puzzle?” Because I really think we’re going to do all – I think we’re going to connect the two pieces that we’re working on before we do the edges.

C: Yeah, I think so. 

K: At least, that’s my plan. I don’t know, but we’ll see how it goes. I don’t know how I’m feeling about doing the palm trees. Because we’re doing a puzzle that has palm trees that connects to an ocean that connects to boats, and then that’s the whole center. And then on top of that, there’s some houses and stuff.

C: Yeah.

K: So then when I moved our bedroom out here, you had your office in Rasta’s old room, and then Rasta moved out of the house, and you moved your office into his old room. And we moved the furniture into – so now our sitting room where we entertain is actually Rasta’s old bedroom.

C: Yes.

K: So we have two bedrooms – the bedroom to the left is my closet and workout room. Even though I never work out, but hey. I plan to someday. So that room is my clothing and workout rom. And then to the right is our sitting and chilling room, which will become a nursery when Rasta has children. So that we can entertain the baby.

C: Yeah? Okay.

K: Yeah. That’s my plan. 

C: Okay.

K: And then you – that’s like down the hall. Then you walk down the hall and there’s like our toilet room and then there’s our shower room. And then you get to the space that we live in, and the tatami room is your office now. And then the old living room which his also a bedroom is our bedroom. And then we have the kitchen table that we’ve had forever. So, I like the way our house is designed, but I’m not sure if it’s designed for entertaining at all. Because we don’t really entertain.

C: Yeah. I’m not sure.

K: I feel like – and I really like this configuration.

C: Yea. I think we’ll end up entertaining at some point.

K: Yeah. I feel like we’re going to entertain Rasta’s wife and his kids, but I don’t see us like

C: Well, you don’t have any coworkers except for Rasta.

K: Yeah. (laughs)

C: and my coworkers are not coming over. They’re a little bit far.

K: Well, I have other people that I work with, but I’m the boss, and so like… “hey, on your day off, or after you finish working, come over your boss’ house.” Like that’s not ever fun. Because we’ve owned other businesses where we did that, and it started to feel oppressive to me. Because you can’t say no.

C: Yeah.

K: And I don’t do holiday parties, so. We did that one Christmas party for our employees, and I feel like it was inconvenient, and they didn’t truly enjoy it, but they had to come because I’m their boss kind of thing.

C: Yeah. It’s always tricky inviting people to something you honestly don’t care if they come. It’s honestly not going to bother you. Because the more you tell them that, the more they become convinced that they’ve got to come.

K: Yes. 

C: I know at least I do. They’re like “it’s totally fine if you don’t want to come” I’m like “ugh, man.”

K: I feel like I have to do this crappy thing. 

C: It’s going to stunt my career; they’re going to give me bad references because I didn’t go to their Christmas party.

K: (laughs) So, do you have any entertainment fantasies?

C: No, I don’t.

K: Because I feel like – because your coworkers are in a different country. 

C: Yeah. That’s why I said they’re a bit far. They’re on a different continent.

K: Yeah. So, I feel like we can go hang out with them on their continent and go to their office parties.

C: Yes.

K: And all of that. I feel like that’s really exciting because then it involves international travel. 

C: Yeah. I know how much you love that. We’ve talked about that before.

K: Yeah. I love international travel. I won’t be shamed.

C: I’m not trying to shame you.

K: Yeah. I won’t be shamed. So in terms of opening the house, I feel like there’s so much – it’s really complex because we have 25 puzzles just stacked because we’ve done them, and we’ll probably never do them again. And so we need to ship those out, and then we would have to buy a special 1000-piece puzzle tray so that we could zip up the puzzle. And that feels like a lot. 

C: But you’ve ben opposed to those in the past because I’ve suggested them. Because they have the thing where you roll the puzzle up, and then there’s the trays for the separated pieces, but you haven’t wanted to do that. 

K: Yeah, I don’t want to. Because I feel like if we’re going to hang out with Rasta and his betrothed – well they’re not betrothed yet – but I feel like whenever he’s with someone that they become his betrothed, that’s the point when we’ll hang out with them. Wee should be doing it at Rasta’s house.

C: Right?

K: Like why do they have to come to our house?

C: Exactly.

K: Why should we have to make our house all dirty and cook?

C: Or your therapy room. Because your therapy room is already set up for people to just sit there and cry uncontrollably.

K: Oh stop. And we have hung out with people in the therapy room, and it’s gone rather nicely. 

C: Yeah.

K: Yeah. But then we’ve kept it a secret from other people that we’ve hung out with. And they’re like “hey where can we go chill at because I just want to talk to you all night long” and we’re like “uhhh, nowhere.”

(laughter)

C: Do you like karaoke?

K: I can’t think of anywhere. I’m not a big karaoke fan. So, we’re going to have to get one of those probably one of those tray things for puzzles – probably in the next five years or so. Because I think I don’t want Rasta’s kids eating our puzzle pizza – our puzzle pieces.

C: See, but the thing with those is that you have to start doing the puzzle on them. You can’t decide halfway through doing a puzzle that you’re going to use one. 

K: Good thing Rasta’s not going to pop out a kid in the next month or so.

C: Right?

K: We’ve been really taking a long time with this last puzzle. I think because I’ve been so busy.

C: Yeah. 

K: Because you’ve asked me several times “is it puzzle time?” And I’m like “no.”

C: Yeah.

K: (laughs)

C: there are times that we complete a puzzle every week or even more often than once a week, and then there are times that a puzzle might take us a couple of months just because we only get a minute here and there. 

K: Yeah. 

C: so puzzle time, which we’ve talked about before, is just good time to sit down and talk or not talk and just work on the puzzle.

K: Yeah, and I have to admit that – because in October I was just sick, sick, sick and that led through halfway to November. And then I’ve been super busy with school that I just really haven’t had time. Because doing my final residency was emotionally quite fraught for me and put me in a negative headspace, but now that it’s over I’m feeling positive and like myself again. And I also had some things with my medication that – and my GIRD was acting up.

C: Well and working a new job, any time I start a new job, it’s an adjustment because I’m going from freelance work which is sporadic and unpredictable to a very predictable schedule.

K: Yeah, but that doesn’t really affect me.

C: No, it doesn’t affect you, but it affects me. 

K: (laughs) 

C: I’m very self-centered.

K: I mean, it kind of affects me, but you’re super positive when you start jobs.

C: Yes.

K: You like new. You like novelty. I like your skin. Your skin is nice and cool today.

C: Yeah

K: Nice, cool feeling. But I always like your skin, even when it’s hot. When I touch your skin and it’s hot, I say “ooo, your skin’s so hot.” 

C: Yeah. It’s nicer doing the podcast in the winter when we have to turn off all the air conditioning and heating and such than doing it in the summer when we have to turn off the air conditioning so that we don’t blast you guys with the noise of it.

K: Oh my gosh. Yeah. In the summer, it’s like a choice. Should we really record an episode today?

C: Okay. 

K: We have to really debate “can we handle turning off everything?” And you know I was drama the whole time, like fanning myself. I think even last week, I was still fanning myself. 

C: That happens to you occasionally, but during the summer it’s like “okay, now we have to edit out the sound of sweat hitting the floor” because that’s just how sweaty we get during the summer podcast.

K: What? What insanity are you saying right now?

C: I’m saying during the summer podcast, we sweat so heavily that the noise of falling like ran to the floor shows up on the audio.

K: Okay, you’re making up something fantastic. 

C: Yes. It is fantastic. Thank you for knowing.

K: You’re welcome. So what do you think of this current configuration of the house?

C: I love it, and I will be very upset if you change it.

K: (laughs) Yes, I am one for just randomly waking up and being like “time to rearrange the house.”

C: Yeah.

K: But I really like – I really like it. I think everything, everything has its place.

C: Right.

K: I feel like there’s a place for everything and everything has a place. 

C: Yes.

K: What’s the saying? Is it place for everything and everything its place?

C: Yes. Without theirs a. “A place for everything. Everything in its place.”

K: A place for everything. Everything in its place?

C: Some people put “and” in between those two, but yes.

K: I think “there’s a place for everything, and everything’s in its place.”

C: Yeah, but you’re working on your dissertation, so you’re trying to be grammatically proper all day when you’re writing. 

K: No I’m not.

C: I think you are. I think you’re stuck on it.

K: (laughs) In your fantasies. 

C: Or maybe

K: In your fantasies as my editor.

C: Maybe I’m just having gravity – like editing rebound because I’m still your editor, but I’m not anybody else’s editor at the moment.

K: Which I love. I love having exclusive Chad.

C: yes.

K: There’s a friend that sometimes you randomly edit random things for.

C: Yeah. Sometimes.

K: Yeah. There’s quite a few friends that you randomly edit random things for.

C: Yeah, but shh. We don’t talk about that. 

K: (laughs) 

C: The first rule of editing club is fix your comma.

K: Don’t talk about i- is what?

C: Fix your commas. 

K: Is what?

C: Fix your commas. 

K: (laughs)

C: Can’t even have any other rules until you do that.

K: So the one thing that I’ve been thinking that we need to redo is your office. You hated that dining table thing.

C: Well, now I’ve got a very mobile office because I have ten-meter cables for the monitors. And a wireless keyboard and mouse. So, I think I can reach just about anywhere in the apartment without moving my desktop.

K: But do you still like that – so in Japan they sell these. So they sell pieces of furniture that you can make a kitchen.

C: Yes.

K: You can make, they sell

C: Modular kitchen furniture.

K: Thank you. I couldn’t think of it. So if you don’t have an island – because most Japanese kitchens have a really short, tiny island. And you can purchase those if your kitchen doesn’t’ have one.

C: Now, I’ve never liked that. I’ve never liked that piece of furniture.

K: That’s why I’m asking: do you still want it, or do you want a different piece of furniture?

C: I could go for a different piece of furniture, but I would want a desk. And I know how you feel about desks. 

K: No. You cannot have a desk.

C: see? Do you hear, audience? Do you hear?

K: Please. Duly noted for the record, Chad cannot have a desk. Chad destroys desks. You destroy them. You’re guaranteeing that it’s just going to become a pit. That your office will instantly turn into a pit.

C: Okay, so now I’m like on the destruction scale are we talking like a little mess, like totally – it goes from totally clean, to little mess, to what Kisstopher 

K: Waist deep. 

C: To what Kisstopher does to the floor.

K: Waist deep. So like what I do with clothes, you do 

C: The ta

K: What I do with clothes, you do with bottles and cartons.

C: A desk is already at waist level. 

K: What?

C: A desk is already at waist level.

K: Yes. And you just heap garbage up ‘til.

C: A-u

K: Garbage up to. (laughs) Not really. If that were real, I wouldn’t say it because that would embarrass him.

C: Exactly.

K: But you never clean your desk. 

C: I clean it rarely. And when we were in the U.S. I had that wrap around desk. That corner desk.

K: And I hated it.

C: I know you’ve hated every desk that I’ve gotten.

K: Yes. I don’t like desks.

C: when we met I had this old

K: I don’t have a desk in my office.

C: When we met I had this desk that I had bought from I think Office Depot and taken apart and put together like four or five times, and it was just

K: I loved that desk.

C: Yeah. But it was rickety.

K: That was a beautiful desk.

C: It was a beautiful desk. 

K: Yeah. It was cherry wood.

C: Yeah, it was like a cherry wood veneer, but just around the outside. And then the middle of it was basically Formica. It was like countertop material in the middle of it.

K: Formica? Isn’t that like granite?

C: No. 

K: What’s Formica?

C: Formica, I think it’s also called melamine or laminate. Countertop laminate is the smooth stuff that’s just applied over plywood.

K: I thought it was pressed wood.

C: It’s applied over pressed wood.

K: Okay. 

C: It’s like a coating for pressed wood.

K: so I thought that desk was gorgeous, and we had talked about getting a partner desk.

C: Yeah.

K: Which we never did. And now I’m just anti-desk. If you could get a small, thin desk that didn’t dominate the room, then I’d be happy with it.

C: Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.

K: Yeah. And no glass desks.

C: No. We did the glass desk, it was

K: And you hated it.

C: Yeah, I did. 

K: We’ve had every – you’ve had your wrap-around desk, you had your presidential desk. You’ve had you glass desk, what other desk do you need to experience, babe, to know that desks are not for you?

C: I feel like Rasta needs to drive us to Ikea. Because we’ve never had any Ikea furniture. Maybe Ikea is the answer.

K: No. It’s not. I’m looking you dead in your face and saying no. It’s not. 

C: (laughs)

K: So, keep the conversation going about should Chad get a desk or not. Maybe we should do a pool on twitter.

C: Oh yeah, we should.

K: Yeah, because I will care not at all. You’re not getting a desk.

C: Yeah. The poll will be like “Chad wants a new desk. Should he get a new desk? Yes, Chad should be happy. No, Chad should be miserable.” 

K: Oh my gosh. (laughs) 

C: Hey, I’ve learned how to push poll from the best. 

K: Yes, you did. 

(laughter)

K: So, that’s our whole digression about furniture – we didn’t really digress because it was just a rambly episode. 

C: That was the topic, yes.

K: Yeah, so we were really on topic. My foot – now I have a digression – my foot is super itchy. 

C: Mmm.

K: Like super itchy. I learned what having random itchiness is called, but I forgot the name of it.

C: Peripheral neuropathy? 

K: No. It was called something with a p. Puresy? Pruritis?

C: Yeah. Pruritis. Yeah. 

K: Yeah. So I have that. So my body randomly itches.

C: Yeah.

K: So, yeah. That’s – that’s my whole thing. 

C: Yeah. Thank you for introducing a digression because we had

K: (laughs) We almost stayed on topic the whole entire episode – well no we had a little digression about puzzles, I think.

C: Yeah. 

K: We didn’t digress very much.

C: No.

K: Okay. So we’re going to let you get on with your day, and we’re going to get on with ours. And tune in next week, and I have no idea what we’re talking about. Talk to you then.

C: Bye.

K: Bye.