K: So lately I’ve been thinking a lot about social media. And, in particular, Instagram. And I find Instagram to be very interesting in that it can’t be scheduled. (laughs) And so, for me, Instagram doesn’t work for my life because I’m inconsistent when it comes to what time I start work, what time I get off work, when I would have time to be on there, and I found that me being inconsistent was hurting the feelings of some of the people who were following us. That made me feel sad, so I just, yeah… Instagram is not my jam.
C: So now we’re consistently not posting.
K: (laughs) Well, we did do our goodbye post that we’re doing other things, but for me to do Instagram… Instagram is two-and-a-half hours just for me to post something, because posting and hashtags and then responding to the comments and reading the DMs and all of that. And I just, I honestly don’t have 2 1/2 hours on any given day that I can specifically devote to Instagram.
C: Especially not at the same time of day.
K: Yeah. And so, for me, that made Instagram more work than fun.
C: Mmhmm.
K: And so it didn’t really feel… ‘cause like, I was enjoying post flower pictures from on my ride to work and I was enjoying posting food pictures, ‘cause I think I make ugly food that tastes really good, and fruit, and just…. I was really enjoying posting the things that we were posting. But, the … it just felt so high pressured. Like, what people wanted.
C: Very serious business.
K: Right? And I’m like, “It’s social media. It’s not supposed to be that serious!” What was your Instagram experience?
C: It was pretty much the same. I’m not even necessarily awake at the same time each day, and it was just a lot of … noise.
K: Noise? What do you mean by that?
C: I mean there wasn’t a lot of signal. There was a lot of noise. So, some people would post once a day or whatever, but then certain hashtags around like flowers, I think there was one place that was posting like 300 pictures a day.
K: Wow.
C: That was using the same hashtag.
K: Wow.
C: And so I tried to be nice and give people likes for their pictures and scrolling through the timeline, you know, 300 pictures of like the same place advertising their floral business, I’m just… I’m no. That’s not me.
K: Yeah, I had the same thing. I didn’t… some of the people we were following would post like in between 3 and 10 pictures a day. And I just felt like, I wasn’t… I felt like I couldn’t actually scroll through our timeline and connect. I would have to go to people’s pages to connect with them, and I was posting once a day. And I wasn’t even posting seven days a week. So it felt like a lot, just every aspect of Instagram felt like work to me. Like, every single aspect. There wasn’t any aspect that felt like fun. And then, I also… I don’t know Instagram’s culture, because some people like for you to like and comment, some people don’t want you to comment. And so it would be a trip to me when I would write a nice comment that I thought was supportive and they would delete it. And I’m like, oh, okay, I guess you don’t like comments on your photos. So, it just… I don’t know. It felt like a lot of rigamarole. And I’m not, I don’t enjoy taking pictures. I don’t enjoy photography.
C: Right. I guess for me it feels like, and having worked in tech I know this the case, they programmed the features so that you would have to use it in a certain way
K: Yes. So not being able to upload pictures from my computer was a huge pain in the butt, and only being able to do it on my iPad was a huge pain in the butt.
C: Right. And even on the iPad, you weren’t technically supposed to be able to do that. We had to download the iPhone version of that. It’s a very exclusive club. And there are ways to work around it, but each way is more painful than the last.
K: Yeah, and I don’t have a smartphone. So I think that’s part of the reason why Instagram isn’t as fun for me. Because I can’t just whip out my phone and take a picture. Well, I mean I could, but I have a flipphone.
C: You have a flip phone, and you don’t answer it ever, and it spends the majority of its time off because it’s for people to leave messages. You call on it. You return messages, but you don’t have it on during your sessions.
K: Yeah, I never have it on in my sessions.
C: And you don’t have it on at home.
K: Correct.
C: So the only times that I think you use your phone are if you’re calling me between sessions or if you’re calling somebody who’s left a voice message for you.
K: And then to make it more complex, it’s your message… your voice on the outgoing message.
C: Yes, it is.
K: So I don’t actually have a… I had a personal phone and a business phone for years, and then I found that I just don’t talk on the phone very much unless it’s… you’re like the only person… you and Rasta, our son Rasta, are the only people I call regularly.
C: Well, and if you’re going to talk for that long just either, you know, come home, or Rasta should come here if he’s not here, because he’s only a few minutes away.
K: Well because he’s my office manager I do talk to him a lot throughout the day as clients needs arise.
C: Mmm, yeah.
K: So there’s a lot of stuff that he takes care of for my clients.
C: That’s what I’m saying. Those are short conversations.
K: Yeah. Sometimes. (both laugh) Hopefully. So I’m not bagging on Instagram, and I’m not anti-Instagram. I think if I had an iPhone, that I would be more into it because it seems to be like it’s made for smartphones.
C: It is made for smartphones.
K: It’s designed to be used
C: They intentionally programmed things to make it so you can’t use it without a smartphone.
K: So for me the reason I’m not getting a smartphone is because I have an iPad. And a smartphone is just more technology than I need in a phone.
C: Yes.
K: I find. And I’m not a big phone person, so… and I don’t enjoy texting. So, for me, the biggest benefit of a smartphone, to me and for me, would be the ability to text.
C: Right.
K: And I don’t enjoy text. I enjoy email, and I enjoy talking on the phone. Talking in person is my most favorite.
C: Well, I mean, I know that computers had just started to become available, personal computers, when I was young. But had they invented the alphabet yet when you were?
K: (laughs) So for me, personal computers were not a thing until I was 30. Like, in my 20s, personal computers were not a thing. I remember getting my first email address. It was a yahoo account, kissmetwo, and I was 27 or 28 at the time.
C: Yeah, I think that was the wide availability of the Internet. Because the Internet became widely available in 1995 which I know because I was at the first Internet conference ever, which was the Netscape conference. It was so boring. (K laughs) I went to the St. Francis and watched a movie during part of it. Screamers, in case you care. Sci-fi movie.
K: Streamers?
C: Screamers.
K: Oh, screamers, okay.
C: Yeah. Sci-fi movie.
K: Is that those things that tunnel…
C: Yeah, that’s the one.
K: Okay.
C: So, but I mean, a lot of the stuff that’s being re-invented, you know… chatting and things… in what ’92? I was on the university’s system using a program called ‘talk’ where you could do the same thing. But it was only available to people basically in university or who had some connection. I had to sign a thing promising that I would never use the Internet to make money. (K laughs)
K: And so that’s my other thing with Instagram. It seems like, for me, that competitiveness, because when we’re on Instagram, people would comment a lot about how many followers we had. I think we have like, I don’t know, a couple thousand. So in between a thousand and four thousand. I don’t know. But, for me that was strange, like because that wasn’t what I was doing on Instagram. What I was doing on Instagram was just messing around and sharing our interests. And one of my hobbies is, which I didn’t talk about during our hobby thing, but I like to ride around the neighborhood, especially on the way from our house to my office, because they have so many really really cute what I think of as ‘porch gardens’. Where they just have tons of flowers on their front porch. Which is so Japanese. Because I never saw that in the United States because everybody had a front yard. And in Japan they have like maybe a foot of space in front of their home, and they would fill those 12 inches of space with flowers. I think that’s so cool. And then there’s also several parking lots that have dirt and they line the parking lot with flowers. And then there’s a cute temple that has, you know, really pretty blossoming trees. So I felt like taking the different paths that I would ride to work and taking pictures of the different flowers, I was celebrating the garden enthusiasts on Instagram.
C: Makes me think about how it’s interesting what’s designated as a park here. Because we live near what’s called Yada Park 2. And it is literally a space big enough for about 10 people to stand and a drinking fountain. And that’s the park.
K: So there are tons of parks from here to the office.
C: Right.
K: And one of them is, like, the size of a parking lot for a car. A parking space for a car. And it has a couple of uneven bars and a bench.
C: Yeah.
K: And no grass. So, for me, that was the biggest culture shock thing was the fact that the parks here in Japan do not have grass. Most of them do not have grass.
C: No, neither do the schoolyards.
K: Right. And so, that was quite surprising. I remember Rasta and I were out driving the other day and I saw, we passed two parks with grass.
C: Oh my goodness!
K: It was like, oh my gosh, make a mental note. This is so awesome! (C laughs) And I’m doing… so, Rasta’s young. Not ready for children. But I am so like mentally preparing like grandma notes. Like, okay, I need a park with grass because it just wouldn’t feel right for me to take my grandbaby to a park that doesn’t have grass.
C: Mmhmm. Let’s go play in the dirt?
K: Well I loved playing in the dirt when I was little, so I don’t know. If you have water, I loved making mud pies and mud cakes, so that’s like really fun. So I guess that would depend on who he marries. And whether or not she’s okay with kids getting dirty.
C: Mmm.
K: But then I guess I could low-key take them somewhere they could make mud pies and then bring them back to my house and hose them off and put them in clean clothes if she’s anti-dirty kids.
C: Yeah, we have a hose on the balcony. (K laughs)
K: And I think that’s … I know people who are like “Don’t get the kids dirty” and I’m like “Pfft, that’s no fun. No fun if you can’t get dirty.” So with Instagram it just feels like hypercompetitive. And then I’m a huge huge YouTube fanatic. I watch YouTube every day. I absolutely love YouTube. And one of my favorite things to watch on YouTube are people faking things on Instagram. And I’m just “Wow, are you kidding me?” The latest one I watched was somebody faking being on vacation in Europe for a week.
C: I think I heard that one when you were watching it.
K: Yeah, and they did a really great job of it. And they fooled most of their Instagram followers. But that just seems so weird to me.
C: Mmhmm.
K: And then the other thing is people pretending to be rich on Instagram, which I find very interesting, like they spend all of this time pretending to be rich to get followers so that they can become an influencer so that they can become rich.
C: Yes.
K: And I was like, “What?” So they’re spending between 10 and 15 hours a day on Instagram and I’m just like, I don’t want social media to be a job.
C: Yeah.
K: So, I think of YouTube as social media. Do you?
C: Yes.
K: And I absolutely love YouTube, and I have two YouTube channels with no videos on them. I don’t know why I have two YouTube channels. I think YouTube…
C: I think you’ve got one video. You have an intro video for your practice.
K: Okay. Yeah, I… yeah, okay. Yeah. But I also have a Kisstopher Musick YouTube channel. I think it was like, I wanna say, about 7 or 8 years ago.
C: I think that was auto-created because of your Google account. They were experimenting with if you log into YouTube while you’re logged into Google it’ll create a YouTube account for you.
K: Yeah, I don’t think that was it. But I totally rock with your theory.
C: Yes. Thank you. I like it when you rock with my theory even when you think it’s wrong.
K: Yep. Because I chose the picture that’s on my YouTube. And so I remember YouTube asking me if I want a YouTube channel.
C: Right.
K: And I just said “Yeah”. So there’s that. And then I have a couple of videos that I’m in on other people’s channels.
C: Yes.
K: And you can check those out at TheMusicksInJapan.com on our website. Because I have all of my appearances and videos and all of that stuff on there.
C: Well, and I have one math video up. That’s my entire YouTube channel.
K: Which has tons and tons of views.
C: Well a couple of thousand views. I don’t know how many likes.
K: I know how many views there are, not how many likes. It had conversation for a while. Comments for a while. So that’s your dissertation video.
C: Right.
K: The video that goes to your dissertation on the unknot.
C: Yes.
K: So, for me, I love YouTube, but now everybody is like, “If you don’t have at least this many views on YouTube, you don’t matter.” And it feels very competitive. And I don’t have … and YouTube takes a long, long time to do. So… for me, the main reason I don’t have any content on YouTube channel, because we had played with putting video of us making this podcast.
C: Yes, we had.
K: Onto YouTube. And I’m like, “Man, but to do it right takes… whew! 8 to 15 hours?” For one video.
C: Now let’s get a ring light.
K: Yeah, we’ve gotta get all kinds of equipment.
C: Check the albedo of our walls. Any time you have to use the word “albedo” unless you’re an astronomer, you’re doing something wrong.
K: Yeah. So I look at someone like Shane Dawson, who I’m a huge Shane Dawson fan and I think he’s just a prolific and successful YouTuber by anyone’s standards, especially considering since YouTube doesn’t promote his videos ever. Like, someone at YouTube has a beef with Shane Dawson, and I don’t know why. And then that makes me really nervous.
C: Mmm.
K: Like, really?
C: They hated Dawson’s Creek that much.
K: Well you look at Shane Dawson, who has like, I don’t know, 8 million, probably over 8 million subscribers by this time, and he gets millions of views, and he never makes the trending page because somebody doesn’t like him. And he makes videos about YouTube hates me all the time. And so I look at him, who’s super successful, and then I look at all of the scandals he’s been involved in, and things he’s been accused of, and people just really attacking him and wanting to destroy him, for no other reason than being successful on YouTube. And that makes me scared of YouTube. And then all of the, the channels that are dedicated to just drama, which, hey, I enjoy them. I watch them. Nothing against them. But I just really don’t people digging around in my panty drawers like that, you know.
C: Yeah.
K: Looking for scandal and looking for things. So, I don’t know. And I don’t want to ever be recognized on the street. Ever. For anything. So I just feel like I’m too private and I enjoy my life, and I don’t want drama.
C: Well I feel like YouTube really focuses on the centralization of attention. Like, let’s make sure that a few people get the majority of the views. So, you know, you might have one video with 8 billion views, and the average video might have 10s of thousands of views but the median video probably has 10 views. You know, you’ve got huge numbers of videos that nobody ever watches.
K: And so, for me, I enjoy, like, I’ll search YouTube all the time, videos with no views, videos with less than 10 views, and even when you do a search where you’re looking for those videos, it’s really hard to get videos with no views.
C: So how social is YouTube for you? Do you comment?
K: No. I rarely comment. I do give a thumbs-up. I do ‘like’ a lot.
C: Okay.
K: But I don’t comment.
C: You give the thumb of approval but you don’t comment.
K: Correct. What do you do on YouTube?
C: I almost never watch it. I find it really painful.
K: Okay. Why?
C: I just find video in general painful, so
K: Ooh, wait, I have to give Ants Canada, that channel, a shout-out. It’s one of my favorite channels.
C: It is.
K: Rasta turned me onto it, and I love love love the channel. It’s all about ants. And the person used to live in Canada but now they live, I think in the Philippines, but it’s a really fun, really fun channel, and … I don’t know. I love the way. I love the sound of his voice and the way he talks, “Okay guys…” he’s super excited about everything. That’s my imitation of him. I don’t do impressions, but really dig it. Okay, back to what you were saying
C: I’m saying I find video in general difficult, so I don’t watch a lot of TV. You and I have a couple of shows that when they come on we’ll watch them.
K: Yeah.
C: But you notice I don’t watch a lot of TV independently. Like, I haven’t watched Daredevil Season 3 yet, and I don’t know if it’s been out for a year yet, but it’s been out for a while. Even though Vincent D’Onofrio is one of my favorite actors and I just love his portrayal, I just… if there’s ten episodes in a show, it’ll probably take me about a year to finish once I start watching it.
K: So, I think it’s important for listeners to know that you have watched Daredevil seasons 1 and 2.
C: Yes.
K: And you did watch them under a year. You watched Season 1 fairly quickly, at a pretty brisk pace. You watched about one show a day. Which, for you is your version of binge-viewing.
C: Yeah, because it’s not any snobbishness, it’s just that, like, I’m not a very visual person and I have problems with the epilepsy, the sensitivity of my eyes, and if I don’t know what’s coming up on the screen it’s a lot harder. So I play a lot of video games, but I don’t watch a lot of TV.
K: And so I don’t TV as a social media thing.
C: No, it’s not.
K: But I do view YouTube as a social media thing.
C: Yeah, there’s a whole community thing…
K: Yeah. So, it’s not communal for me, and I wonder… should I get involved in the communities? And then I immediately think, “No, I don’t have time.”
C: Yeah, I think it’s about what you have time for and what you connect with. Like, a few years ago, back when I was doing my PhD, I was on Reddit, in just the math forum.
K: Okay. I love Reddit.
C: Yeah, so just in the math forum, but the other forums are like… I didn’t understand what was going on. Like, why are you people talking about this?
K: So I absolutely love the Reddit subfeed RuPaul’s Drag Race. It’s a mean subfeed. It’s a mean feed, but I enjoy reading it because it has really great spoilers, and I’m a huge spoilers fan. Spoil everything for me. I wanna know how things are going to work out, to keep me from getting emotionally involved, because if I didn’t, like, I would find RuPaul’s Drag Race painful to watch because I really feel attached to some of the queens, and so if they’re going to be eliminated, I want to know before watching it.
C: So you can start letting go before seeing the pain happen.
K: Yes, that’s exactly how I feel. I never send anybody hate over RuPaul’s Drag Race, and I think if anybody in the fandom is sending hate, they need to stop that. Stop threatening people. And stop sending death threats. Even if you don’t intend to do it, so that’s another issue of why I’m with like… on Reddit there are certain things that I’m interested in, but I don’t engage because I don’t want people to be like “Okay, you’re a superfan, so we’re going to attack you for your opinions about this reality TV show.”
C: Right.
K: And I’m just like, it’s a reality TV show. And, for me, everybody who’s on RuPaul’s Drag Race, you’re a winner, baby. You know? You immediately get fame because I just think of like, look at miss Vanjie. Miss Vanjie went home first, but Miss Vanjie was absolutely the most talked about queen on her season. So you can go home first and still be the most famous. And like, look at Pork Chop. Pork Chop was the first one ever eliminated, in Season 1, and Pork Chop is really famous and has multiple crowns for drag pageants and such. So, for me, I find that I have some fear with social media.
C: Mmhmm.
K: Because I don’t want to be trolled. And, so there are certain social media platforms that I view as just being very mean.
C: Yes.
K: And Reddit is one of them.
C: Yeah, that’s certainly. The math forum is not, but a lot of the other forums are, because it depends on the moderators. They’re allowed a lot of latitude. So I think our main social media is Twitter.
K: Yeah.
C: And I actively block anybody… if I see somebody trolling somebody else. It doesn’t matter.
K: With a quickness.
C: With a quickness. It doesn’t matter if they’re not trolling me. It doesn’t matter if they’re not trolling anything about either of us. Like with the—
K: Yeah, mess with our tweeps you’re gonna get the block.
C: It’s not even necessarily about our tweeps. If I see somebody make like an anti-transgender remark, I’m blocking.
K: Oh, done.
C: I’m going to block them. If I see somebody make hate remarks, I’m going to block them. I’m also going to block people who make those remarks sarcastically. One, because I don’t know. And two, because that remark is still out there. So, in person, I sometimes engage in sarcasm. I know that…
K: But we never engage in sarcasm about … individuals that are trans or individuals who are disabled or people of color. There are certain things that we just don’t joke about.
C: Yeah, no, no. So my sarcasm is always sarcastic commiseration. Which I do in person, but I don’t do on social media because I know that it’s not always taken that way. It’s like an in-joke. I don’t tell in-jokes on social media.
K: You don’t tell what?
C: In-jokes.
K: Okay. So, for me, I feel like there are certain things that are off limits to me because it’s not my experience. And I’m really aware of that, so I limit my commentary to my experience. And I do tweet a lot of LGBT+ tweets, and pro-active tweets, because I am part of that group. That is part of my in-group. Every once in a while I’ll tweet about things that are not part of my experience, and I’m always very careful to be respectful when I’m tweeting about those things. To not make jokes, and to ask questions. And if I make a mistake, and this is something I wish everybody would learn. If you make a mistake, just apologize.
C: What? That’s crazy?
K: Right? Like if I say something that’s offensive, or if I misspeak, don’t come at me with hate, but do let me know “Hey, that hurt my feelings”, and I’ll say I’m sorry. I don’t get this anti-political-correctness group of people that “we should just be able to say what we want, everybody’s too easily offended.” No… just no. Because, for me, as a Black woman who’s pansexual, I find that I carry a lot of core pain around issues of being Black. I carry core pain around issues of being a woman. And I carry core pain around issues of being a member of the LGBT+ community. So if you say something that touches my core pain, and I tell you “Hey, dude, that hurt me,” don’t be a jerk. Just apologize. Don’t get offended. Just apologize. Because I’m sharing my experience with you. And I’m trying to educate you. So when somebody comes to me with the energy of informing me, because something that I’m learning a great deal about is ability and disability.
C: Mmhmm.
K: And a great deal about ableism. And I found that some… I had to really deconstruct my views, because there are some views of mine that I did not realize were ableist views. And so having to deconstruct those because they weren’t any bias, they were just ignorance. Things that I just honestly didn’t know that were important to other people because I also have disability. But that doesn’t mean I know everything about every disability.
C: Right.
K: And I have the same thing when it comes to being a proud Black woman. I’m a proud Black woman. I identify as Black. But there are some of my sisters out there who really, who are really hurt if I don’t identify as African American, being a Black woman from America. So, for me, most times in public I identify as African American because I’m sensitive to their pain. And I’m sensitive to the issues that they’re talking about with colorism and feeling that I’m distancing myself from Africa, when I’m not. For me, not identifying as African American is saying that I’m Black instead of African American, which I do now identify as African American because I understand how painful it is to others if I don’t. For me, it was a protest. I was saying that you do not get to restore my country back to me in half-steps. Because I am a descendant of slaves–my great-grandfather was freed by the Emancipation Proclamation–you do not get to tell me that I have to claim a continent.
C: Mmhmm.
K: Until you can tell me where my people are from, I’m not going to let you heal that pain. You are going to see my pain, and hear my pain, every time you talk to me. You are going to hear that my great-grandfather was freed by the Emancipation Proclamation. You are going to hear that connection to Africa. You are going to hear that connection to slavery, which is deeply personal for all Black folks in the US. At least the Black folks I know. And so I get that being called African American, for some generations, is treating them with respect and healing for them. For me, being African American heals no wounds. It doesn’t heal anything for me. Being Black heals things for me. And so, being able to put my fist up in the air and say “Yes, I’m Black and I’m Proud, Say It Loud,” for me, I’m Blackity Black Black Black. But, I understand that I don’t want to give people who are not Black permission to call my sisters Black. So therefore I’m African American in mixed company. So, like, that big long thing that I just took people on, there’s no way anybody can be aware of that, just tweeting on social media. And so for me, if someone just tweets at me, and they make a mistake…
C: Right.
K: Then I can share that mistake with them. And I think you have the same experience with ableism.
C: Yeah, I do.
K: And especially with autism.
C: Yes.
K: That a lot of people are talking about the autistic experience and not quite getting it right for me.
C: Yeah, I think most people who are not autistic don’t quite get it right. And there are those people who know they’re not getting it right, and they listen. And there are those people who don’t know they’re not getting it right because it’s centered around them and their relationship to somebody who has autism.
K: Yeah. Which, I think is really sad.
C: Yeah, so I mean, there’s a schism in the Autistic Dark Web, which is people who don’t believe that people like me are actually autistic because I’m able to function in most areas of my life.
K: Yeah, I think that’s too bad for them.
C: Yeah, and you know, you can read our twitter if you want to see all the ins and outs of that. But I think that unless you find somebody who can speak authoritatively and definitively on the subject, that it can be hard to know, like, who’s legitimate and who’s not.
K: Yeah.
C: And so, as an example, when I was in high school, I read a book called “The Miseducation of Little Tree”, which was really controversial after it came out because it’s about a boy taken off of an Indian Reservation, and it was supposedly written by the boy and it was his story. And then it turns it out that it was written by a really famous racist.
K: And so something… the way that you just characterized that is interesting. Because for me, saying “an Indian Reservation”, I don’t like that language. I like “Indigenous People”, but not all Indigenous people like Indigenous people. And so for me, I prefer to identify as Native American or Indigenous. I don’t identify as Indian, ever.
C: Well, and I wouldn’t call somebody who is Native American or Indigenous or First Nations or Chocktaw, or whatever they identify as, “Indian”. What I use it for is that “Indian Reservation” is a specific thing set up by the US government as a way to strip the autonomy of the Indigenous peoples. And so it’s not that I would call… there are people I would called Indian, but they’re from India. Right.
K: And so I just look at how complex identity is, and I think that if we’re really … if we’re willing to be open, then social media can be a fun place for education. And, for me, having… always having humility when I’m on social media is so important. And I find that Facebook has really helped me out a lot with that. Interestingly enough. Because I belong to several closed groups. So, one of the groups that I belong to is “Black Women in Japan”. Hey Girls! Love my sistahs! Love all the queens! And it is such a beautiful, loving and supportive community for Black women who live in Japan. And there are Black women from the Caribbean, from South America, so we have Afro-Latinas, we have Black women from Europe, we have … just from all over. And, including Australia. So for every area of the world, and there are a lot of individuals with mixed cultures and different cultures, and a lot of individuals that have a single culture but the thing that we all connect with is that somebody in our family came from Africa. And so
C: Right. And sometimes it was them.
K: Yeah! (laughs) Yes. And so, I love love love the group. And it’s giving me so much education about what it means to be Black. And what it means to be Black in Jamaica is very different than what it means to be Black in California. Very different than what it means to be Black in the UK, and so on and so forth. So I really love getting the mix of all of these beautiful bright intelligent women, but we all come in with the understanding that my story is not your story. And so therefore, the only way I can know your story is to ask. And if I share something that’s offensive, please talk to me about it. Don’t immediately get angry. Like, in the group, there’s often conversations about colorism. And I own that I am light-skinned. And I own that, unfortunately, that that does give me certain privileges. And there was a thread about that, and some of the ladies were really offended. Some of the fairer complexion, because they felt that they were being picked on. And I just felt like, “No, this is our sister, who’s expressing something she’s going through and experiencing and asking our opinions about it and our views,” and so if we can put down our defenses and come together in the spirit of community, that’s what the Black Women in Japan group’s taught me. Always come to the group with the community, sharing, and openness. And don’t think that something is pointed at you unless they at you and say “Hey!”
C: This is pointed at you?
K: Yeah. “Hey, Kisstopher, this is what I think about you.” Then I’m like, okay, that’s directed at me. And I find that I have the same experience with my Foreign Women in Business in Japan group, which is another closed group on Facebook that I belong to. And there are some ladies who … have asked, “Should we open this up to Japanese nationals?” And there’s a lot of discussion about that. Like, what is the difference between being a Japanese woman in business in Japan versus being a foreign woman in business, and there’s a lot of discussion in the group about, you know, we do allow Japanese women to join, but the name is still “Foreign Women in Business” because as a foreign women who has a business, there are things that are unique to my experience.
C: Right.
K: And so it’s not exclusive, it is inclusive, but the name really says, you know what the focus is, and it is mostly foreign women. So I love Facebook for the closed groups. And I have currently I think 4 Facebook pages that I run and manage, and I don’t run them very well. They’re not regularly updated, and
C: Well, we have ours which receives periodic updates.
K: Yeah, and so the one for The Musicks, because we’re not TheMusicksInJapan on Facebook, we’re just TheMusicks
C: As on Twitter.
K: Yeah. And so that gets automatically updated because I’m able to schedule it. And then mine just mine Kisstopher Musicks… (C laughs) … I don’t know when that gets updated. It got updated more when I was doing Instagram. And then I have “Adjustment Guidance” and I have “Adjustment Guidance Nagoya Therapist”, and those get updated once a week, I think.
C: Yeah. You tried to set up one of them, I don’t remember which one. And the other one was set up automatically, and Facebook gave you control of it when it became clear that yes, that was your company.
K: So I set up Adjustment Guidance
C: Okay
K: And then *they* set up Adjustment Guidance Nagoya Therapist. They thought it was a better name than Adjustment Guidance for my Facebook page. I tried to merge the two, and they will not let me merge them, so now I’m just whatever, and I run both pages. I just schedule. And I do, like, one post a week, and they’re always harassing me. “Adjustment Guidance fans haven’t heard from you in a long time!” Two or three times a week they send me a message that I need to…
C: Facebook harasses me. They send me messages that I haven’t logged in, and there’ll be like “Freddy”… I don’t think I have any Facebook friends actually named Freddy, so… “Freddy told a story your Facebook friends really liked.” And I’ll be like, no, “Freddy” did not. (K laughs) I know Freddy, and Freddy did not. Stop lying to me Facebook.
K: So something that I was really shocked about. Just last night on Facebook, so… anybody who sends Kisstopher Musick a friend request, I’ll just click it and say yes. I had no idea that there’s hardcore pornography on Facebook. I was like, “What?” Like, full-on straight-up hardcore porn, like you can see everything everything porn.
C: I didn’t know that. I know that I say no to almost nobody. So you send me a friend request and I don’t know who you are, I’ll ignore it or delete it, or if it’s offensive I’ll block you.
K: See, and I’ll say yes, and just accept you as a friend. Because I’m not doing anything.
C: But I used to get a lot “Hi, I’m 19 and bored and lonely. Don’t you wanna see more pictures of me?” No. I do not.
K: No, but now I’m getting just straight-up porn videos. So I clicked, like I got a friend request, and I clicked “Sure”, why not, because I clicked yes on everybody. And then I got a private message that was hardcore porn. So then I clicked to the person’s page because I was just curious, like, what is this page doing? Because we have like 77 friends in common. So I’m like okay, 77 other people who…
C: Well, that’s against the rules. Not having 77 friends, but pornography is against the rules.
K: But it was a straight-up pornographic video. Like PornHub level pornographic video. And, you know, hey, I love me some porn. I do.
C: Yeah, but the key word is “some”.
K: Yeah. And I like to pick my porn, and this porn wasn’t particularly my flavor. But I looked at it and I was like “Huh.” The more interesting thing is I did not unfriend them. (laughs) I was like, I was surprised by my decision to not unfriend them.
C: That is an interesting choice. Because I am block and report. That’s me. I’m the block and report guy.
K: I figure like, hey, you know, do your thing.
C: Mmhmm.
K: Like, it’s so hard to make money doing porn these days. You know? If you can make some money off of porn on Facebook, I’m like go for it.
C: I know there’s a lot of bots and things. I know that our Twitter following, I know that we probably have a couple thousand bots in there. Because I see our follower sometimes will go up and down by, like, 50 or 100 in a day and I think okay, people are being blocked or unblocked or whatever. And I know it’s because when I got my very first email address, because my last name is Musick, I used to get, before spam filters improved, between 50 and 100 spams a day.
K: Wow.
C: From people associated with the music business trying to get me to buy things.
K: Ahh.
C: So I know that a lot… I think you posted about some music one time, and we got 5,000 followers the next day. Because, well, we’ve got Musick
K: Agnes Mo!
C: Oh, yeah, Agnes Mo.
K: Yeah, when I tweeted about Agnes Mo, we could gain a couple thousand a day.
C: Because we’ve got music in the name, you’re tweeting about music.
K: No, it’s straight-up Agnes Mo bots. It’s specific to Agnes Mo.
C: So, because I know there was one time that our Twitter following was, like, it jumped above 25,000. And then fell like 10,000 the next day.
K: Yeah. So that was Agnes Mo. Amara La Negra, sometimes if I post about her. Because I like to post about underground music or people who haven’t broke through in the mainstream.
C: Yeah.
K: And a lot of times people will have bots set up for their fan… for their idols that they’re into.
C: So I try to remember to say this on Twitter sometimes, but, you know, we’ve got a few hundred people that we interact with on a regular basis. If you think we should be following you and we’re not, just let us know. Because I don’t autofollow back.
K: I find tweet at us is better than a DM.
C: Oh, yeah. Definitely tweet at us about it.
K: And it is a shared joint account, so you can’t just reach Chad by tweeting at us.
C: And we’ve done that, too. I tweeted at somebody “Hey, when will I be cool enough for you to follow me?” And they tweeted back, “I don’t?” and followed us. So.
K: So, two other forms of social media that I want to talk about before we end today. Tumblr. I absolutely love Tumblr. I had a Tumblr account for a while for Adjustment Guidance, and it’s still active. I haven’t shut it down. But I also don’t use it, and I found that Tumblr has turned into, for some reason it has turned into Tumblr after dark. I don’t know why.
C: That actually changed in December of 2018. They changed the rules. And it’s no longer any adult content allowed.
K: Ahh, okay. So that shows you how long it’s been since I’ve looked at my Tumblr. Which means probably today I’ll look at my Tumblr and see what’s going on. (C laughs) But I don’t know if I even remember my password. And the reason I don’t do Tumbler is I’m busy. So, for me, a lot of social media kind of fell by the wayside when I started my PhD. And I had a bunch of coursework to do, so I spent the first three years of my PhD doing coursework to finish and update everything.
C: And I think before that, too, you were doing a lot of things to advertise your business, including paid advertising, when you were first building your business. And now you’re at the point, which is a great point to be at, that you get enough referrals to replace the people who finish their therapy.
K: Yeah. Finish their therapy and leave Japan. And so I find that Tumblr for me is just too much work, and too time consuming. And then Snapchat came on board after I started my PhD, I wanna say?
C: Yeah, I don’t even know Snapchat.
K: So I remember Snapchat being that thing that you do for porn to send people your bits.
C: Because they disappear, and yeah…
K: And then they didn’t and people got in trouble. But, like, in terms of just getting up in the morning and Snapchatting… not my bag. Like, I don’t… and then getting people…. (grumbles)… just the whole thing of it. Like, who would you follow on Snapchat? And I think that’s another smartphone thing, because people getting up and taking a video of themselves
C: Yeah, I don’t even know. Because anything visually based I’m probably not going to be on it. And then there’s some social media things that are more specific. Like forums and things. I’m on some writing forums. I used to be on
K: Well, you’re on Medium. But I don’t think you’ve posted to Medium for a while.
C: I haven’t posted to Medium for a while. I post maybe once a month.
K: I think Medium is awesome. I recommend Medium. I highly highly recommend Medium if you’re a writer or a poet or a blogger. I know on our website we have…
C: I have some poems on Medium. I read on Medium, so….
K: Because I think now everything you write is posted on our website, rather than on Medium. Or do you still post on Medium?
C: So, essays and things and stuff I post to our website. Some other stuff I post on Medium in publications. Like I’m in a publication called Disability Acts, and then I’ll like to it from our website. So you can always find everything I’ve written that’s not in book form from a link a link from our website. And I used to participate in MathOverflow when I was in my PhD program, which is another social. So, you know, things come and go.
K: And then something that I kind of think of as social media, but I’m not strictly sure. Well, like, Pinterest is social media. I decided a long time ago not to do Pinterest because, again, time consuming. And, like, Google Groups? Too time consuming. But… enh… and some people might get mad, but don’t get mad. Sorry not sorry. But I think of like Psychology Today, those types of magazines have really started to feel like social media to me.
C: Well, they have forums and things where people go and chat.
K: No, I’m saying straight up, the articles feel like social media.
C: Oh, yeah.
K: Because some of the stuff I read, I’m like, “That’s just been disproven scientifically. That’s just scientifically wrong.” And for me, I think it’s important for people to understand that just because it’s in a magazine, or just because the website has a magazine title, doesn’t mean that it’s good information. Like, WebMD, sometimes is spot on and sometimes is completely and wildly inaccurate.
C: My toe hurts. … You’ve got the bubonic plague! Oh no!
K: Yeah, and so for me I feel like being a smart consumer of what’s on the Internet is super important. So I always look to associations, rather than magazines. I don’t
C: Right
K: So for me, like, the American Psychological Association, that’s research based. The American Speech and Hearing Association, that’s research based.
C: Well, and I talk about this professionally. I give presentations about this. About fake journals and predatory journals and stuff, so that’s a whole other conversation. But yeah, I think a lot of things their credibility has gone down as they’ve tried to find new revenue streams.
K: Yes.
C: Because Psychology Today used to be very much pop psychology, it’s always been that
K: Yeah, it always has
C: But it used to be shallow but accurate. And sometimes it’s no longer accurate.
K: Well, and I find too that Psychology Today now has… because they solicited me to submit articles. And, I know you guys are going to be sick of me saying this, but I just don’t have enough time right now. And I looked into it to see, like,
C: How much they pay? (K laughs)
K: Yes, which is nothing for some contributors. And if you build up… so it’s just like any other things, if you build up a following and get so many hits and this that and the other, then you do get paid. So they had solicited me to contribute just so I could get the byline. And I find that if I want a byline, for me, NagMag, which is a local magazine here, is better because I’ve written tons of articles that have appeared in NagMag.
C: Yeah, I write for the American Chamber of Commerce journal. I think my fourth or fifth…
K: The American Chamber of Commerce Japan.
C: In Japan. Their journal, I think my fourth or fifth article is coming out this next month. Whatever month… I don’t know.
K: Yeah, and I have, I have an interview in The Japan Times that someone reached out and I contributed to, so I have other things that feel more relevant to my life.
C: But neither the grocery store nor our condo association has ever accepted bylines as payment. (K laughs) So…
K: Correct. And so I don’t have the energy to build up things that aren’t passion projects.
C: Yeah.
K: And so I support and salute everyone who is contributing to Psychology Today. To me it just feels like another social medium forum that people can contribute to that organizes things based on a topic.
C: Well, and that’s what I said when we talked about how we make our money is that there are certain things I’m either doing for free or I’m fairly expensive, although in line with market rates.
K: Yeah, and so for me the reason why I’m not doing Psychology Today is I’m trying to get my life together and put together some freebies and giveaways on our website, like different tests and screening tools and psychological support tools. And I look at, okay, I could either write an article and post on social media, or I could spend my time maintaining the things that I’m passionate about and furthering other things that I want to do. And so for me, giving free good resources to people is something I’m passionate about. And so, yeah, go to our website. Check out what freebies we have going on.
C: And you can also find a link to our social media.
K: Yep. So, you know, follow us on social media. And we hope you enjoyed today’s ramble.
C: And we hope you’ll come back for our next ramble.
K: Have a good one. Bye.
C: Bye bye.
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