C: So, lately I’ve been thinking about this being episode 100.
K: (laughs)
C: And how, for 100 episodes – because we have an episode 0 – you’ve started.
K: Yeah.
C: Maybe it’s my turn.
K: Yeah.
C: Not in a jealous way.
K: (laughs)
C: In a “maybe I should finally do the dishes” kind of way.
K: I think it’s – you realized it and I didn’t kind of way. So, I haven’t been thinking about it.
C: Mmm.
K: And you were like, “I’m thinking about 100.” And I’m like, “why?”
C: I just want to keep it 100.
K: Yeah. So, I didn’t have – you came up – because when… before we record, we talk about what we want to record.
C: Yes.
K: And it really, honestly, whatever I’ve been thinking about. And you were like, “what do you think about the number 100?”
C: Yes. Like… what’s your sentence on that? Like, in dollars? Because there’s a 100 of them in a dollar.
K: You said you had a bunch of stuff to say about 100.
C: Oh, I do. I just thought you were going to share your thoughts – like, what your response to that was.
K: No.
C: Okay. Yeah. So… 100 is cool.
K: Okay.
C: That’s my first thought. It’s a square number.
K: Mhm.
C: Right. Because it’s ten times ten. Which I like those. But also, it’s just interesting how much 100 has kind of… got a weird place in the English language. Because… you can have 100 things, right, but there’s no word for 100 hundreds.
K: There’s no words for what?
C: For 100 hundreds. The way there is in Japanese. So, 10 thousand is 100 hundreds.
K: Yeah.
C: And in English, you just have to say 10 thousand or 100 hundreds. You say that if you want to confuse people.
K: Ah.
C: But, in Japanese, you’ve got… you know, the “man” – the 10 thousand.
K: Yeah.
C: So, it’s a natural unit of counting. But they don’t do so much with the 1 thousand.
K: Mm.
C: So, it’s interesting to me the difference because both are in base 10, but the way that it’s extended is quite… different. And I just think about all of the… distinctions that makes. Like, Japanese currency – the yen is the smallest unit of currency. There used to be the… sen, which was like one 1 thousandth of a yen.
K: Like the hay penny.
C: Yeah. Yeah. Where it’s less than the smallest denomination now.
K: Yeah.
C: But the U.S. still keeps the penny around. I don’t know if, when you were growing up, you heard – I know
K: They use the single yen coin quite a lot.
C: Yeah. But there used to be a coin called the sen which was 1 one thousandth of one yen, so it would take a thousand of them to make one yen. That was a long time ago – that was like a century ago – because it’s been a long time since… a thousand of a yen would buy anything. One yen won’t really buy much.
K: I feel like, for me, I’m surprised that we made it to episode 100 because there were some times – some weeks – that were really touch and go for me.
C: Yeah. I think it helps to record on whatever day we’re feeling it, but there are weeks that it’s hard to feel it.
K: Yeah.
C: And then there are weeks it’s like… “I want to talk to all the listeners. Things to say to them.”
K: Yeah. And this one’s being recorded like real-time.
C: Yes.
K: Like… it’s being recorded in just enough time for us to transcribe it (laughs) and get it out there.
C: Yes.
K: For the 100th episode.
C: Y’all see what happens when I’m the one thinking about something.
K: (laughs)
C: We just don’t talk about it.
K: That’s not the case. You told me last week, and I’ve just been, like, getting around to it.
C: Yeah.
K: And I just hadn’t gotten around to it. Because it’s a lot. We have to change our whole setup and everything. And so, with our new beds, I think it is quite easier now that we’re on raised beds.
C: Yes.
K: And you’re able to sit in a chair. I’m still bed-ridden, so… I like have my little tray, and it – it sits nice on my tray.
C: Yeah. You were skeptical about the trays. I feel like…
K: I was skeptical, and I’m still trying to manage them and figure them out. I don’t feel like I have them quite figured out yet.
C: Yeah.
K: So, I’m still working through that.
C: I know that I’m a lot more aware now when I drop things than when my bed was on the floor.
K: (laughs)
C: Because it’s been what, about a decade since we slept with futons on the floor.
K: Yeah.
C: And if you drop something off the bed, it’s like, “oh no, it fell two inches.”
K: Yeah.
C: Whereas now it’s like – if I drop a grain of rice, it’s like the long fall and then a clatter.
K: I think you’re thinking about me dropping my clock. Because for – wherever I set my clock, even when we were laying on the floor, I have a space for my clock. But about once a week, I drop my block on the floor. And it was a whole debacle. I had to move beds, and… it was a lot to go through to find my phone because it fell underneath the bed.
C: Oh, to find your clock. Yeah. It fell underneath the bed; it came to pieces. Because you have an old-timey… it’s – it’s got a battery, so it’s not so old-timey that it winds up, but it’s got the big metal bells that there’s like a hammer that just bangs on the bells over and over. And we got that… years ago.
K: Yeah.
C: Years and years ago. Because you find it hard to hear electronic alarms. Like, if
K: You don’t. I do. I’m hard of hearing.
C: That’s why I said you.
K: Mm. See, there I go again being hard of hearing.
C: Right?
K: Hearing “we” not “you.”
C: It’s almost like… like you’re hard of hearing.
(laughter)
C: I don’t know where I was going with that. I was like, “no, she said exactly what it is.”
K: So… when we first started doing this, I didn’t… imagine a world where everybody and their mother would be starting a podcast.
C: Yes.
K: So, I’m just like – I feel like every week somebody new is starting a podcast, and somebody famous is
C: Yeah. Somebody new and famous.
K: Is starting a podcast.
C: They’re like, “you know what my life needs? I have a hundred million dollars. I have eight million Twitter followers. What my life needs is a podcast.”
K: That’s because all the entertainment is still shutdown and so, for me, I’m still just really proud that… we’re still trucking along.
C: Yes.
K: That we didn’t get squashed or pushed out of the market. And… I don’t know, I think we’re doing really good for our hundredth episode.
C: I think so.
K: We’re still in the top 50% of podcasts, which that’s really surprising because it feels like every single celebrity has a podcast now.
C: I think they do. I think it’s a rule. They like changed the definition of the word celebrity. If you don’t have a podcast, you have to be known as a celebrity with no podcast.
K: Yeah. A lot of
C: Unless you’re Cher.
K: A lot of T.V. shows that aren’t podcasts – a lot of things that weren’t podcasts – they’ve made into podcasts.
C: Yeah.
K: And some are doing limited series podcasts and such.
C: Yeah. Cher doesn’t have to have a podcast, but Dolly Parton has a podcast, so… you know. Maybe we shouldn’t exempt Cher.
K: But Cher likes to be elusive.
C: Yeah.
K: I think, personality-wise, I’m more Cher than Dolly Parton.
C: (laughs)
K: Because Dolly Parton is har – so, I think Cher is hardworking. Right?
C: Right.
K: But I think Dolly Parton – she works. Like, she’s everywhere. Because she just came out with a book, two movies, and… a new album and a podcast. And I’m like, “dang, Dolly. Where do you get all this energy from?” She’s so energetic.
C: Mhm.
K: And I just think she loves to work. And Cher is like posting on her Twitter pictures of herself with earrings on to prove she has not lost the will to accessorize.
C: (laughs)
K: Like… Cher does what feels good to her.
C: Mhm.
K: And doesn’t push herself. I don’t think she’s… obsessed with being famous. And I don’t think she’s a workaholic.
C: Yeah.
K: I think she likes to have good work-life balance.
C: Yeah. I think so. My work-life balance has been just so thrown off, and I know yours has, too, lately.
K: Well, my work-life balance has been thrown off because I can’t work.
C: Yeah.
K: So (laughs)
C: But I feel like – if we want to go that way – you had the work-life-school balance. I count your PHD as work because I think that people doing a PHD – that’s work. Like, depending on your program, you might have TA or RA duties on top of that, but… it’s a lot of research and a lot of writing and just a lot of effort for something that… most people never pursue.
K: Well, and I’m still really sick, and it’s all still kind of mysterious, so if you’ve been following us on Twitter, you know I’ve been having health stuff going on. And it’s all mysterious and all of that, so… we will be – it looks like I’m going to be having surgery sometime in April. I’m not sure when in April. It depends on how my next set of tests come out. And then… I know I’ll be having surgery because I have a consultation with the surgeon next week.
And so, we’ll be recording some episodes for when I’m in the hospital. And then… we might do a little short series on – or one episode after I get out of the hospital and heal up. Like, being hospitalized in the U.S. versus being hospitalized in Japan.
C: Mm. Yeah. Because that’s never happened more than a couple of hours here in Japan.
K: Yeah. And so, it’ll be the first time any – either of us has stayed overnight.
C: Right. Right.
K: And… but then, too, my reference for the U.S. is over ten years old – like 12 years ago, 13 years ago.
C: Yeah. That’s right.
K: So, I don’t know what it’ll be like, but I think it’s pretty much the same.
C: I think so. I don’t think it’d change all that much.
K: Yeah, I think the biggest change would probably be smartphones.
C: Yeah. Because there’s not like flying cars in the parking lot or anything big.
K: So, what does it being the hundredth episode mean to you?
C: I just think it means that we’ve persisted. So, it won’t be two years for another… what, six weeks or so. Because we did a bunch of episodes at the initial release. But making it to 100 episodes is a milestone that most podcasts don’t make it to.
K: Yeah, that’s true.
C: And especially if they’re a weekly podcast. Some daily podcasts, they’ll do 100 episodes and then just be like, “oh. I’ve been working for three months. I’m burnt.”
K: Yeah.
C: And… which it’s, you know, the same amount of effort to do 100 podcast episodes if you do them every day or once a week, but… I think the… ability to maintain interest over a matter of years is unusual.
K: Mhm.
C: And so, I don’t feel like I’m done talking yet about Japan with you. And talking about the differences from the U.S. and… it’s interesting because you mentioned that you don’t think it’s changed that much as far as hospital stays, but I find my references to actually living in the U.S. are becoming more and more outdated.
K: Yeah.
C: Like, it’s not going to be long before there are adults who… were not alive when we left the U.S.
K: Okay. I was thinking… hmmm. They’re not quite adults yet.
C: Right. They’re 14.
K: They’re teenagers, yeah.
C: Yeah. So, but it’s not going to be long before they’re like… grown people. And then college graduates and such
K: But as much as the U.S. likes to say that it’s dynamic and everchanging, that was not my lived experience when I was there.
C: It wasn’t mine either.
K: And looking at the news and stuff, it’s – I’m not seeing a lot of rapid change.
C: I’m not, either. Which is what makes it weird when somebody – I’ll mention something like, “oh yeah that was 1990” and they’ll be like, “that was more than 30 years ago.” Like, shut up. Don’t tell me that. But, yes, 1990 was more than 30 years ago. But I’m working with people who can’t remember the 1990s.
K: Mhm.
C: Because they weren’t born.
K: Yeah, our kid can’t remember the 1990s.
C: He was born in the 90s.
K: But he does not remember the 90s.
C: No, he doesn’t. So, the like VH1 Remember the 90s – no, they literally can’t.
K: So, for… it being 100 that’s like a huge milestone to you.
C: Yeah.
K: And for me, it’s meh. Meh. If I’m just being completely honest. I’m like okay, episode 100.
C: Well, it’s not one of your numbers.
K: No, it’s not one of my numbers.
C: Like if I think if it were episode 555.
K: That’d be cool.
C: Right? And it’d be cooler to you, I think, than 554 or 556 because 3 and 5 are your numbers, so three 5s is like…
K: Yeah. So, I’ll be happy with like 350.
C: Mhm.
K: Or our 300th episode.
C: Yeah.
K: Our 50th episode was very exciting to me. But I knew it – I knew it not to be exciting to you, and there are some conversations that I can’t carry. Like, I don’t suggest a podcast topic that I can’t carry.
C: Yeah.
K: Unlike my co-host.
C: Ugh.
(laughter)
C: Sometimes, I suggest podcast topics that I know you can carry.
K: Yes.
C: (laughs)
K: But this is not one of them. And so, I’m wondering why you chose this.
C: I think because… 100 years ago doesn’t seem that long to me, now. It was before we were alive, but… your grandfather, for example, was alive 100 years ago.
K: Yes.
C: And just looking at… world history and where things were. Like… if we say, “okay, it’s 100 years ago” it’s not really long before the computer gets invented.
K: Mhm.
C: And it’s been… almost 40 years that the – no, more than 40 years.
K: There were computers more than 100 years ago.
C: Well, yeah, but the modern type of computer with the plug it into the wall and that – there were calculating engines that were mechanical.
K: Yes.
C: But it’s almost 50 years for the internet. It might be more than 50 years because the internet time usually goes from January 1st of 1970, which is… more than 50 years ago. I guess I’m just feeling… like… I’m getting up there in age.
K: So, I think the most miraculous thing about it being 100 episodes is that I haven’t quit. I like to quit things. I’m a quitter. That’s what I do. It’s my thing. And… so (laughs) I quit, but I don’t actually do anything about having quit. But I like to quit things. So, like… being a therapist – I’ve quit being a therapist and then gotten up and done a whole day of therapy knowing that I have quit, and I will no longer be a therapist.
C: Mhm.
K: I have quit my – gosh, I think I quit my PHD at least once a week. I’m over it. I’m done. I quit. And… it’s… there have been times – like before we recorded – where I’m like, “I don’t even know why we’re doing this. What are we doing this for? What’s the point of it? I quit.” And so, everything… that I do, I quit.
C: So, I wonder if there’s a support group for people who don’t quit. Because they can’t and won’t – don’t stop.
K: Like, quitters that don’t quit?
C: Yeah. Like, do you graduate from that support group by quitting it?
K: (laughs) That would be cool. When we first met, my quitting and how much I quit stuff freaked you out. I think for the first 15 years of our marriage, how much I quit freaked you out.
C: I think so. We were talking about this the other day.
K: Yeah.
C: Because when you were teaching English, you would just quit jobs left and right.
K: (laughs)
C: You were like, “I know. I know that we’re depending on the money from – from the job. But I just can’t take it, so I quit today.”
(laughter)
C: What’s going on?
K: I told you, “I will have another job by next week. Please.”
C: And you always did.
K: Yes.
C: You usually had one that same day.
K: Yes.
C: But as somebody who – who quit… badly from a lot of my jobs when I was young but then decided, okay the solution is to never quit no matter how bad things get.
K: So, for me, I just quit abrupt.
C: Mhm.
K: I’m a no-show, no-caller. When I worked for other people. And I have been my entire life. Not bragging. I’m not proud of it. The only time I don’t do that is when I work with kids. I always show up for kids.
C: Yes.
K: Because I don’t think that they can process it. Recently, my health had me quit – not quit – had me cancel appointments with kids. And that was really hard for me. That was the hardest one to do because I feel like adults can process late, last minute things.
C: Yeah.
K: But a child who’s, like, counting on you for their stability and their routine – it’s really guilt-inducing if I don’t show up for them. And so, for me, I think that I’m so consumed with… whether or not I can be a therapist anymore.
C: Mhm.
K: Because of my new level of disability. That… I think it might be overshadowing any… good news or any joy or any excitement. So, I’m hard-pressed to feel excited about anything. I feel very much in limbo.
C: Yeah. Therapy is one of those things where you make appointments. So, it’s hard. Because we had a… a beauty salon back in, like, late 90s early 2000s. And that’s the same way. You can’t just say, “okay. It’s 2 o’clock and I’m feeling good, so I’m going to work for an hour.” And do an hour of work.
K: Yeah.
C: As a therapist. Because I can do that in my job, I can be like, “okay. It’s 2 am. I’m awake, I’m going to do some work.” And I could just bang out a couple hours of work. But you can’t. And I feel a lot of sympathy for you that things are so… timebound.
K: Yeah.
C: To where, if you don’t know whether you’ll be able to do something at a specific time of day weeks in advance
K: Yeah.
C: Then you can’t have any confidence booking that appointment.
K: Yeah. And so… I haven’t seen any clients in the month of March.
C: Yeah.
K: And it’s… a bit surreal. And then this being our 100th episode – like, my dream is I want to be a podcaster. And so, I’m wondering if it’s time for us to start investing in some advertising and like really getting the word out there because, as y’all know, I – we are not consistent tweeters when it comes to podcasts. Like, I – I know we should tweet every week about the podcast. Like, every episode.
C: Yeah.
K: But I think I get maybe one a month that I’m like, “oh. I’m gonna tweet about this.” Where I’m feeling really super genki. And then there’s the question like with one hundred – with our 100th episode, that’s supposed to be a milestone, but that milestone is set up for the sitcoms. Because if you have a situational comedy or a T.V. show and it reaches 100 episodes, then it can be syndicated.
C: Mm. Yeah.
K: And then you can get residual checks because they’ll show the reruns of it. And that’s when you start making money off of reruns is once the show hits a hundred episodes. But we don’t have any sort of… syndication.
C: Syndication deal?
K: Yeah. We don’t have any deals. So, I
C: Let’s fix this, listeners. If you want to offer us a syndication deal
(laughter)
K: And we are open to syndication, baby.
(laughter)
K: So, I wonder why the one hundred episode was so… like… it’s still confusing to me about why it means so much to you. And here’s the thing is because usually we care a lot.
C: Yeah.
K: About the same things. And this – I just like… it’s, to me, it feels like any other week.
C: I feel like it disrupts a lot of patterns. And thinking, like, our episode art – well, now there’s three digits in it. So, that word episode – is there going to be enough room for, like, episode 100 and 101?
K: But there’s no mystery. We already have the art for episode 100.
C: Yeah. That’s not the point, though.
K: Okay. Then what is the point?
C: The point is that it had me thinking. Because 1 is really thin. So, I think that you could squeeze a 1 on there.
K: Yeah.
C: But what happens when we’re at like 3000? Where those are both pretty thick numbers. 3 and 0.
K: I think at some point, we’re going to stop numbering the episodes.
C: Probably, yeah.
K: On the art.
C: Yeah. It’s been encouraging me to, “do you want to start a new series? A new season?” No. We don’t have seasons, here. We are not a football team.
K: Yeah. I know some – I think that when… famous people do podcasts or whatever, they go on hiatus. They take breaks and all of that. And that’s because they have that built-in fanbase, and their fanbase can watch the other things that they’re doing. But the other stuff that we do is private. And people can’t see it. Like, my other thing is therapy. No, you cannot
C: (laughs)
K: I’m not doing therapy on the podcasts. That’s not going down. I think everybody who agrees to have a therapy session filmed – I think is exploitive, and I don’t think that… I have a low opinion of people who do therapy on television and
C: You mean the therapist, not the people who receive it.
K: Yeah. The therapists who agree to have their sessions filmed because that is a form of coercion because they’re being paid to see you.
C: Right.
K: And their reality T.V. format – because reality T.V. loves therapy. And I feel like that’s not where the magic happens. Where the magic happens – it requires confidentiality from my perspective. Knowing that it’s going to be private. Knowing that it’s you and this one person that you work really – and I work really, really hard to win and earn and honor the trust of each of my clients. So, that can’t be part of the podcast. I mean, it kind of is because we talk about it almost every episode that I’m a therapist. And the other thing that I do is my PHD, and I think that would just be like
C: (laughs)
K: Watching paint dry. I think my PHD is interesting to nobody.
C: Uh-huh.
K: Like…
C: But you can have it as an ASMR channel for people to sleep. Like, (soft voice) cultural intelligence is defined as – (normal voice) and just go on with that.
K: I don’t have an ASMR voice.
C: Mmm. I would disagree. I find it very soothing – but I don’t get ASMR. Like, I know it’s supposed to create some kind of neurological feeling, and I just – I don’t have it.
K: Yeah. I think you would be good at ASMR.
C: But I wonder… when I was teaching, I know that most of the realizations that students would have would not be when I was sitting there with them. It’d be when they were doing the work.
K: Yeah.
C: On their own. So, sometimes they would say, “oh, okay. I understand now.” When I was talking with them, but then actually going and applying that would have a lot more meaning in their lives. So, I wonder even if you were to – unethically – record a therapy session, I don’t think people would hear any… epiphanies or any, like, changes in the life of the person. Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but I think it’s mostly like you tell people… things and talk about them, and then they go off and apply it and come back and tell you how it’s gone.
K: No.
C: Okay.
K: Most of my sessions are with people disagreeing with everything I’m saying.
C: Oh, okay.
K: And then going off and coming back and being like, “oh, you were right about this thing you said.”
C: (laughs)
K: And, with couples, the dynamic – so, I see couples individually, and I see them together. And the reason that I see them individually is because as soon as there is another person besides me and the client in the room, that changes the dynamic completely. And I get a lot more from clients when it’s one-on-one. And I’m able to do better in the – the conjoined session, joint session, when – the proper term is conjoined session, but nobody likes that term – when I do a joint session or a family session and everybody’s in the room together, they all have their language with me. And they have all had their experience with me. And they all have their trust with me. So, they know that sometimes I’m going to advocate for them, and they know that sometimes I’m going to disagree with them.
C: Mhm.
K: I find having that happen privately is better than. And I don’t do I told you so with my clients. I just tell them, “remember” – it’s kind of I told you, so I guess because I say, “remember we talked about this, and we talked about the possibility of this being an outcome. And let’s – what was the gift in this being the outcome?”
C: I think “I told you so” is a lot more taunting. The thing
K: Huh?
C: I think “I told you so” is way more taunting than what you’re describing. But I do notice even if just Rasta is here, it does change our dynamic.
K: Yes, it does.
C: I know I behave differently if Rasta is here listening than if it’s just you and me.
K: Yeah. I don’t.
C: You don’t, and that… that astonishes me. I’m like, “but how can you not change what you’re doing based on the context? How are you just always Kisstopher?”
K: Yeah, I am.
C: Always keeping it 100.
K: I’m always me. And that’s a cool way to bring it back to 100.
C: Thank you.
K: But I’m always me. So, like, whatever… I’m going through that day, that’s what you get. And… as a therapist, I’m still me.
C: Yes.
K: Being a therapist doesn’t change who I am. And… I’m having to look at the possibility of not being a therapist anymore.
C: Mhm.
K: And I think that and the physical pain that I’m in and how well I’m not doing is all-consuming. And makes it… really, really hard for me to be excited.
C: Yeah. I think so. I’m trying to think if I’ve seen you excited in the last few weeks, and I don’t think I have. I’ve seen you… like, glad for things, but excited would be too strong a word.
K: Yeah. Because having surgery in a foreign country in a foreign language in a foreign hospital setting – looking forward to none of that.
C: Yeah. I’d be a little worried if you were, honestly.
K: So, I’m just interested in what the differences will be. And I think talking about the differences on the other side of it rather than while I’m going through it will probably be better. And I don’t think people care about my health. I don’t think that that’s what they’re listening for is to hear about my health updates.
C: Oh, that they’re tuning in for that?
K: Yeah.
C: No, I think that’s part of our lives, so that it’s not a drawback when we give the – the update
K: Yeah, I think that they’re interested in how things are going in Japan and Japan generally, and I think they’re interested in us generally.
C: Right.
K: But I think it’s on a more general… sense than
C: Yes. I agree.
K: Like getting down in the nitty gritty. I think the people that want to know updates and all of that – I think they’re
C: Following us on Twitter.
K: More prone – yeah, they follow us on Twitter.
C: Yeah.
K: So, I don’t know if they listen to the podcast. So, I think for you… something that our listeners may not know is that… three years is kind of like – besides our marriage and… one job, you haven’t done anything for three years.
C: Yeah. I think that’s true. Because even my school… so, I did two years at jr. college.
K: Yeah.
C: Two years at undergraduate.
K: Yeah.
C: Two years in my masters, two years of my PHD. And yeah. So, I guess that is about kind of how long I – I do on most things.
K: And then the visa job you did for 5 years.
C: Yeah, I did that for 5 years. And I think I’ll be at my current job for quite a while.
K: And I think the reason that you were able to do it for 5 years was because it was the visa job.
C: Oh, yeah.
K: Not a euphemism. It was how – you were able to stay in the country was by working that job. So, I think when your ability to be in the country is dependent on that – and I think now what’s going to be so awesome is I think that you’re going to get beyond the 3-year mark. Because you’re almost at the 2-year mark at your current job.
C: Yeah, that’s right.
K: And it’s flown by really seamlessly and really quickly and really effortlessly. And a lot of great things are… in the works that we won’t talk about until after they happen. And I think that this might be… like, your long-term job. Like, what you do that makes you happy that makes your heart sing.
C: Yeah. I think so.
K: And gives you shape and structure to your life.
C: Because when I find what I like – and I know what I like
K: Yeah.
C: Because I’m looking at you, now.
K: (laughs)
C: I like what I see.
K: I’m always amazed that you can like me because I am just like… I don’t like me right now. Like, I hate my body. I just… I hate my head. I hate my situation.
C: I think it’s hard to feel positive – I think it’s hard to feel positively when you’re not able to do the work that you want to be doing.
K: Yeah.
C: And you’re not feeling well enough to do the physical things that you want to be doing.
K: Yeah.
C: I think it’s very frustrating when you’re not feeling… not even 100%. I don’t think you’re even feeling 30%
K: No, I’m not. And, like, the magical food for me right now is something that’s so seasonal and so temporary in Japan. Raspberries.
C: Yeah.
K: And I’m so spoiled form growing up in California. Whenever I would need raspberries, I could literally fill my cart with raspberries. Like, I could buy a crate of raspberries.
C: Mm.
K: And just scarf down raspberries all day. So, I’m eating tomato – not tomatoes, I don’t even like tomatoes. I don’t eat tomatoes. I don’t like tomatoes, and I’m not ashamed of that.
C: But they’re right next to the strawberries, which is what you were gonna say.
K: Yeah. So… I’m eating strawberries right now. Strawberries, eggs, and chicken. And my diet is restricted to that. And y’all know I’m not vegan. And, yes, I actually need the amino-acids in the – I need the sulphate that’s in the eggs, and I need a different amino-acid that’s in the chicken meat itself. And so, I have to – I have a set meal. And all I eat right now is… strawberries, eggs, and chicken. And sunflower seeds.
C: Thank you for clarifying that. Because when you said, “strawberry, eggs, and chickens” I thought they’re not strawberry eggs. Strawberry eggs would be so tasty, but it’s like strawberries and eggs and chicken. You said it – you said it right.
K: So, if – so, I have offered to make you strawberry Jell-O eggs.
C: I know, and they would be so tasty. And I think that that would be the problem. Because, like, a month ago I ordered some Jell-O cups.
K: Yeah.
C: Like, little, tiny ones.
K: Yeah.
C: And I put them in the freezer. And I ate all of them in… like, a week. Which is a lot. It was like dozens of Jell-O cups per day.
K: Yeah. I think I need to get back on eating the pops.
C: Mhm.
K: Because we have frozen pops.
C: They’re not quite otter pops. They’re a different brand but similar in
K: They’re nothing like an otter pop.
C: (laughs)
K: They’re nothing like an otter pop.
C: They’re bigger. They’re not nearly as sweet. They don’t have very much sugar in them.
K: Yeah.
C: They don’t have
K: So, I think I need to get – yeah – I think I need to get back on eating those. And get off the sunflower seeds a little bit. Because I do have – anybody who eats a lot of sunflower seeds knows that, eventually, it burns your tongue.
C: Mmm.
K: The amount of salt burns your tongue. But I’ve been keeping track of my blood pressure, and it’s not making my blood pressure skyrocket. I know when I eat a lot of sunflower seeds, you’re like, “you’re going to get high blood pressure.” Because you worry about my salt intake.
C: I worry about your blood pressure because you have lupus and blood pressure is one of the risks of that. So
K: Yeah.
C: Hypertension specifically.
K: Yeah.
C: Everybody has blood pressure. I worry about hypertension, not just blood pressure generally.
K: Yeah. And no, it – everything’s doing great. I’m not taking any medication for anything but pain.
C: Mhm.
K: And so, that’s really great. If you’re on any medication, please ask your doctor whether or not you can discontinue medication. Because I am a quitter. I will randomly quit medication. So, whenever a doctor prescribes medication to me, I ask them, “what will happen if I just stop taking it?”
C: (laughs)
K: Because I will wake up one day and just decide I don’t want to be on this medication anymore. And I will not take it. And the doctor will be like, “can you please take your medication?” And I will be like, “no.” And they will keep prescribing it to me, and I will keep purchasing it. But I will not take it.
C: I think the bizarre thing is you keep filling it. Like, you don’t just cross it out and be like, “no, no. I don’t need this one.”
K: Well because the doctor keeps thinking that they’re going to convince me to take it.
C: Mhm.
K: And so, they’re like, “we’ll prescribe it just in case you change your mind.” I’m like, “you can prescribe it. I’m not gonna take it. I already said to you I’m not taking it.” So, I’m not compliant.
C: Yeah. But if they told you, “well, if you stop taking this medication, you’re going to have seizures” you would just not ever take that medication in the first place.
K: Yes. If you tell me that they’re going to negative side effects for me to just randomly stop it, I won’t start it.
C: Yeah.
K: You are absolutely right. Because I can’t – and I have this weird other glitch that I have to cancel doctor’s appointments. So, I make a doctor’s appointment
C: Yes.
K: And then cancel it and make a different doctor’s appointment. And… so, that kind of makes me a little bit scared because I have to – so, I’ve been telling myself every day, “you have to show up for your pre-surgery. And you have to show up for your surgery. You have to show up for your pre-surgery.” And it’s so much pressure for me to show up that day. Like, I just don’t want to go. I don’t want to show up.
C: But if you cancel, there’s no guarantee you’ll get one in the next six months.
K: Right. And it’s a rushed surgery.
C: Yeah.
K: It’s emergency surgery. And so, I’m like, “oh my god.” They wanted me to do it three weeks ago, and I was like, “Excuse me.”
C: Too soon.
K: Yes. “I have things I have to take care of.”
C: (laughs)
K: So, no. It’s not convenient to me. Because we didn’t even have beds yet.
C: No.
K: Oh, something I can share. I think I might’ve shared this on the podcast already, I’m not sure. But I have to bring my own eating utensils, pajamas that button down in the front, and slippers that have books to them. No slip-on slippers. And are non-sticky.
C: Plus, your own towels.
K: Yeah. My own towel, and my own washcloth for bathing.
C: And your own toilet paper.
K: And my own toothpaste. My own toilet paper. All of that.
C: Yeah.
K: They don’t supply you with – you get a bed. Because they don’t even have internet, so I have to get a pocket wiffy. Which is what I call the Wi-Fi.
C: It’s a funnier way. Because pocket Wi-Fi is like, ungh, Wi-Fi. Wiffy is fun to say.
K: Yeah. It is. So, I don’t know if this is going to be upsetting for people. I always wonder when we talk about the more personal stuff. It’s weird. Sometimes, it goes over like gangbusters, and we get lots and lots of listens. And then other times, it’s like a ghost town. Having nothing to do with whether or not we tweet about it. So, I have no idea: why do y’all listen?
C: (laughs)
K: What makes (laughs) what are you looking for from us? What do you want? We’ll give you more of it. Tell us, and we’ll give you more of it.
C: Yeah. It’s interesting. Sometimes, we’re in the top – among the top podcasts of Japan.
K: Like, our podcast entitled “Snow” is one of our most popular episodes.
C: Yes.
K: And it’s not – it’s just a big rambly thing. It’s titled snow. But we don’t talk the whole time about – we never stay on topic.
C: No.
K: I know – if you’re – like, you’re here for the digressions if you’re here for more than one episode.
C: Okay, so this is episode 100.
K: Yeah.
C: So, we haven’t talked about 100 topics. Because we don’t stay on topic. We might’ve talked about a thousand by now. Who knows?
K: We’ve never talked about 100 topics on a single episode.
C: I’m not saying we have. I’m saying over the course
K: We never will.
C: I’m not saying we will. I’m saying over the course
K: No, I’m saying we won’t.
C: I’m saying
K: Clearly. I’m setting a boundary.
C: Yes. Because that would be like three topics per minute. So, what I’m saying is… over the course of 100 episodes… we’ve talked about more than 100 topics because we talk about more than one topic per episode.
K: Oh, yeah. But why is snow our most popular?
C: I don’t know. Maybe people think it’s code. They’re like, “oh, snow. They’re finally going to talk about all the cocaine in Japan.”
K: What?
C: You heard me. I think.
K: No. You said – you said like – no. That we’re going to talk about the queen?
C: The cocaine in Japan.
K: Oh, I heard queen.
C: No. I don’t know what snow and queen would have to do with each other. I haven’t seen Frozen. I’m aware that there is like an ice queen or
K: The only reason you even know that there’s cocaine in Japan is because you know that I’ve had to deal with clients that have legal troubles because I have to go to court. And if I’m going to court, I do tell you I’m going to court, and I do tell you I’m going to criminal court.
C: Yes.
K: And I tell you why because you’re so paranoid every time I go to court for a client.
C: Yeah, I really – I really worry.
K: It makes you super paranoid. And because – as we’ve discussed before on other episodes – if you know someone who gets busted for cocaine, and your phone number is in their phone, the police will call you and investigate you as a potential seller of cocaine or user of cocaine. And you know that the police have showed up to my office several times to talk to me about different things. Because I do tell you when the police visit me.
C: Yes.
K: Why they visited me, what they were saying in the visit, and all of that. Because you’ve asked me to. And so, without divulging, you know – it doesn’t break confidentiality or anything to say, “hey. The cops came by, don’t worry. They’re not going to come to the house. They’re fine with coming to the office.”
C: And when you’re at the office, there were times you would have a gap, and I’d expect to call you, and I’d call, and you wouldn’t answer.
K: Yeah.
C: And you’d come home, and you’d say, “yeah, the police came by. I was talking to them during the break.”
K: Yeah.
C: “That’s why I couldn’t answer.” It makes the news if people get busted with weed here, so… but I never see cocaine – that’s why I was thinking about that. Because I see “stimulant drug”, which that I assume always means methamphetamine, but maybe not. Maybe that includes other drugs as well.
K: I don’t know anything about – oh no, I do know. I think through my clients
C: (laughs)
K: Yeah. There’s a lot of methamphetamines in Japan. I don’t do an illicit drugs. So…
C: But you’ve been doing clients here in Japan for, what, 10 years? A little more?
K: Yeah. For over a decade now, I think.
C: Yeah.
K: And so, a lot of stuff comes across my door.
C: Yeah.
K: Well, not so much now because nothing’s come across my door, and I’m feeling a crisis of identity.
C: Things might. Things might just come by your office and just be like, “oh. Kisstopher’s not her.” Every day. You might have, like, regular visitors that you don’t know about.
K: There are so many decisions to be made in the month of April.
C: Yeah.
K: I think I’m kicking them down the road to make them in the month of May.
C: I think it’s hard to make any decisions when you have something big pending that you don’t know how it will turn out.
K: Yeah.
C: Because we don’t know how your surgery will turn out. Your hospital stay will turn out. If everything turns out great, then it’s going to be very difficult than if things don’t turn out great.
K: Yeah.
C: So… yeah. I don’t know when to kick it to, but I know those decisions can’t be made now.
K: Yeah. So, in the take two this week, what do you think we should talk about?
C: I think that this week, we’re going to talk about… beginning promotion of the second book.
K: We’re currently promoting three books.
C: Yeah. Then I think we should talk about that.
K: Okay.
C: And also, I think we’ll talk about the anthology.
K: Okay. I don’t want to talk about the anthology.
C: Okay. So, we won’t talk about that, but if you want to know that that is, then search our Twitter.
K: (laughs) We’re doing a winter-based anthology, but we’ve only had submissions – submissions have been opened for about a week now?
C: Yeah.
K: And so, I want to give it – I want it to get a little bit more legs because if we don’t get a lot of submissions for the anthology, it’s just winter-themed. Like, I don’t care: you can write about Krampus. You can write about holidays, you can write about snow, you can write about the fact there is no snow. Just as long as wintertime and that’s it.
C: Yeah.
K: That’s the whole thing of it. So… waiting to see because it may be that we’re writing a lot of antholo – we’re writing a lot of short stories.
C: (laughs)
K: About winter. I started a couple the other day. I was like, “ugh. Maybe I should get them out.” Because it’s between 3000 and 3500 words for each one, and I’m like, “mm. That might take me a little while to write.”
C: Yeah.
K: It’s not as easy as just sit down and whipt it out.
C: Just bang it out.
K: Yeah. But it is getting a lot of attention on Twitter.
C: Yeah.
K: So, I’m happy about that. Lot of retweets and a lot of likes and such. So, I’m hoping that people are feeling inspired. And it’s running all the way through until August. We’re doing submissions until the end of August, and then in September we’ll be sending out the stories to the authors that we’re keeping, and they get 100 bucks.
C: Yeah.
K: So, they get published in the anthology and 100 bucks, and they get featured on the Cinnabar Moth website.
C: And we don’t take their rights forever. They get to republish after a year.
K: Yeah.
C: Yeah.
K: So, thanks for listening. And we’re gonna talk about marketing multiple books over on the take two. Talk to you next week.
C: Bye.
K: Bye.
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