A big part of having the love you deserve is letting go. Letting go of regret, letting go of mistakes, letting go of toxic people–letting go can be hard, but it makes us stronger. Letting go of things that do not serve us makes room for things that will. Letting go of toxic people makes room for non-toxic people. Letting go of or distancing yourself from people who do not give you the love you deserve frees up energy to love yourself more and find other people who will love you.

Knowing where to start the letting-go process can be difficult. I always suggest starting with ourselves. The only person I can control is myself. This is true for everyone. When we look at our own behavior, it is helpful to ask “what am I contributing to the dynamic that prevents me from having the love I deserve?” It can be as simple as not asking for what you need or as complex as triggering core pain.

If you are not getting the love you deserve because of triggered core pain, please know that you can heal. Healing core pain is a matter of fully unpacking it and exploring all of the things that prevent this wound from healing. Once the wound is unpacked and understood, then the process of healing can begin. Healing is a matter of first knowing you do not deserve the pain you are feeling and then doing actions that demonstrate this. One action you can take is to remove barriers to getting the love you deserve.