People have often asked me about my experience socializing in Japan. More specifically, about whether I have a lot of friends and feel comfortable here. On the comfort part, the answer is a definitive yes. I truly enjoy a lot of the conveniences and such that come with living here. On the friendship part, the answer is less confident. Whether I have a lot of friends really depends on what the person asking considers to be a lot. To some people I know, having five or more friends is a lot, while others think you need at least twenty to even have a decent friend group. Personally, I would say that I don’t have a lot of friends, but I have enough. The number of friends I have is more of a choice than a limitation. It has nothing too do with being in Japan and instead has to do with my preferences. Living in Japan, I’ve had no issues meeting people and having the potential to forge strong bonds. This is true with both foreigners and Japanese natives. People, usually, are quite friendly and willing to hang out. I’ve made connections in a variety of social groups; camping groups, dancing groups, meet and talk groups, etcetera. If you’re looking to find social groups or bond with people, all it really takes is putting in the time and effort to go out and explore your interests.

If it’s so easy to discover groups of people to meet with, you might be wondering why I don’t have “a lot” of friends. Part of this is a matter of defining friendship. To me, going with a large group of people to do an activity or enjoy an experience together by itself doesn’t make me friends with everyone in the group. I have had plenty of experiences going hiking or sightseeing with gatherings of thirty people only to speak with about ten of them. This isn’t because I’m bad at conversing or feel uncomfortable in groups. On the contrary, I am completely comfortable in new environments and around new people. I feel that friendship is more than just going someplace and doing the same activity with a group. I define a friend as someone I can talk to without being my “social” self. It’s someone that I can be around and just be truthful about what’s going on with me or talk about private matters with. Creating this connection is more intimate and takes time outside of activities to really make happen. With expats, forging this bond can be more difficult because they may end up leaving Japan with little to no warning. But that’s a topic for another blog post. I am satisfied with the friendships I’ve made. I believe that, no matter how you define it, it’s possible to make friends here. The key is going out and trying.