An obi is a type of belt used to tie closed kimonos and yukatas. I have never worn a kimono, and I only this year had the experience of wearing a yukata. This may come as a surprise because I have lived in Japan for over a decade, but I have simply never had a desire to wear one. Some of you might be wondering what changed. The answer is simply that I wanted to share a first with my current girlfriend. We went together to a fireworks festival, and we both wore yukatas. A yukata is a simple robe with one layer that is typically worn during the summer. This is different from the more complicated kimono, which usually has several layers. The process to tie an obi for a yukata and for a kimono is very different. The process to tie the obi for a kimono can be extremely complex and require multiple steps. It also usually requires two people to even do it properly. The process for a yukata is much simpler, even if it was a little bit confusing at first.

The thing that gave me the most trouble with tying the obi was the ending. The process of wrapping it around the body and such is fairly straightforward, but it doesn’t look good unless you properly knot it at the end. The knot gave me so much trouble that I had to practice it several times to get it right once, and several more times after that to be smooth and polished. This is pretty normal for new skills, so it may not sound that interesting or surprising. The surprising part of this story is that my girlfriend, who is Japanese, did not know how to tie her own obi. Thankfully, my mother had the foresight to make me learn the process for tying a woman’s obi just in case. As a result, I ended up helping and teaching my girlfriend how to tie the belt for her yukata. Despite yukatas and kimonos being a traditional style of dress for festivals, quite a few Japanese people have never tied their own obis or learned how. As children, their parents do their yukatas for them. As adults, many people simply never wear them. And kimonos are typically tied by professionals. It was an interesting cultural experience, and it also made a valuable bonding moment for my relationship. Trying new things with the people you care about is one form of intimacy that I would recommend to everybody.