In my previous blog post about forging friendships, I briefly touched upon the topic of expat friendships and how they can be difficult to make given the unstable, or temporary, nature of expats’ living situations. This came up because I have had the experience of getting close to someone only to have them leave the country soon after. Many, if not most, expats in Japan are here on a temporary basis. Even if they might like to stay for longer, often their contract or schooling period will end, and they will have to leave. This is one of the realities involved with being a (hopefully) permanent resident of Japan. Often, the acquaintances or friends one makes among the expat community will be gone within the next couple of years. While this isn’t always the case, the times it does happen can be shocking. In some cases, you’ll have known someone for several years only to have them inform you they’re leaving the country in a couple months because their work situation changed. In other cases, you go into the friendship knowing they’re not going to be around for long. For most people, this probably wouldn’t be an issue. If you make a friend, it’s easy to keep in contact and keep that connection alive.

I, however, don’t feel as bonded to someone I know I will likely never see again (or even if I do, only after many years). I struggle to keep in contact with these people, despite how close we might have gotten while they were in the country.  Usually, I manage to keep in touch with them for a month or two before I just run out of things to say. Because I know this about myself, I tend to avoid making friendships with people I don’t think will be in Japan for long. I’ll hang out with someone, but they’ll only ever be an acquaintance in my mind. This ties into my previous blog post where I mentioned I don’t have a lot of friends. The temporary nature of most expats’ stays in Japan leads to short-lived relationships. They’re still fun, and the people are still great company. There’s just a clock ticking down to when it will end. Now, some people may say this is a rather negative way to view things. And they’d be right. A more optimistic view would be to say that the rotating, cyclical nature of expats in Japan means there’s always opportunities to meet a variety of new people as they come and go. Every few years, you have an opportunity to experience a broader spectrum of people which can in turn give you a better perspective on your own life and help you grow by giving you new experiences by simply going with the flow. Whichever way you look at it, people come and go no matter where you are. The expat life is just a more predictable pattern.