Wrapping up our month-long focus on love, let’s reflect on our relationship with ourselves. Do we have a practice of self-love? Do we show ourselves love every day? Let’s start a self-love practice. You can begin by going grocery shopping and buying favorite snacks or drinks, cooking yourself your favorite meal, or taking a long bath. Self-love, like any love, is not always about grand gestures. Sometimes it is but quiet and constant. For example, one of that acts I do for self-love is that I dress comfortably every day.  I also have a morning routine that creates joy.

For me, starting the day in a way that honors my needs increases the positivity throughout the day. The focus of my morning routine and sleep routine is me. Because of this, I am guaranteed at least two times of day that the focus is me and my needs. Everyone needs time that is dedicated to their needs. By ensuring that I focus on my needs twice a day, I am able to know that my needs will be met. The only person we can control is ourselves. That’s why I focus on my own ability to get my needs met. I am fortunate to have a loving and supportive partner who loves me the way I deserve. But even though my partner is loving, I do not expect him to start his day by meeting my needs.

I expect that I will start each and every day focused on what I need that day. My needs vary depending on what I am doing. I find that having a set routine that includes a check-in about what I need keeps my practice of self-love on track. By not expecting my partner to start his day by meeting my needs, I reduce my own disappointment, resentment, and inconsistency. It is unrealistic to expect a partner to start their day by meeting your needs. Expecting that you will start your day by focusing on what you need improves your ability to communicate what your partner can do to support you. Loving ourselves allows us to learn what we value.  When we know what we want, we can then ask for what we need. Getting our needs met starts with self-love.