K: So lately I’ve been thinking about what’s cool about living in Japan, or what’s awesome about living in Japan. And the reason that I started thinking about this is a client who came to see me, here in Japan, said “It’s just so cool that you live in Japan”, and I was like “Yo, you live in Japan, too.”
C: That makes them cool too, then.
K: Right? So I was like, “Is living in Japan cool? Do I feel cooler living in Japan than I did in the United States?”
C: No, I feel much hotter. (K laughs)
K: Well, in the summer time. In the winter time, I would say we feel much cooler, if you’re just doing a temperature joke.
C: Not for me.
K: For me, definitely. So then I was thinking, okay what’s so different or so awesome about living in Japan compared to living in the United States? And for me, it’s something that when I was thinking about it was very interesting, in that what I like is the … how few and far between smiles are. Like, just random smiles between strangers. Like, there’s never any pressure for me to smile, and I freakin’ love it.
C: Yeah, no, there are some people who expect the ojigi, which is like the first bow of the day. It’s just a little head nod to say “Yep, I see you.”
K: But being African American, it’s the “What up?” except it goes down instead of up.
C: And your back bends a little bit.
K: I never bend my back when I ojigi. It’s just a pure head nod to me.
C: So you’re doing it wrong but that’s okay. (K laughs)
K: They’re fine with it. Everybody’s digging my ojigi.
C: Yes.
K: They’re getting jiggy with it. (laughs) I crack myself up.
C: Giving yourself that?
K: So what do you think about my smiling and all of that? So, because I always wonder is it easier for you that there are fixed social rules. Because being on the spectrum, how’s that different for you?
C: It’s a lot easier for me. Because I’m not just on the spectrum. I’m all over the spectrum. I own the spectrum.
K: (laughs) And we’re talking about the autism spectrum.
C: Yes. I might be, you know, one end one day and another end another day. It’s a lot easier for me if there are fixed social rules, because it gives me a level of predictability when I go out. And now when I’m wearing my glasses, if I put on my glasses, if I put on some music, I basically don’t have to deal with any sensory input. And the fixed rules
K: Well, any sensory input outside your control.
C: Right. And the fixed rules means that people aren’t going to demand that I take out my headphones, for example.
K: So, for me the not needing to smile is, it goes back to that privacy thing we talked about a couple episodes ago. And I just really like that everybody gets that they don’t own my mouth.
C: Mmhmm.
K: And I felt like in the United States, when people would tell me “Smile, girl!” or “You should smile!” or when people would smile at me just randomly and expect me to smile back, I felt like they were taking ownership of my mouth. And I really didn’t like it. I never… I’m normally a smiley person, but I don’t like to have to smile.
C: Right.
K: I want to smile. And so now the difference is the times and instances where I feel like I have to smile for a social construct are almost at zero. It’s really rare.
C: Yeah, it is. I can’t think of any times outside of meeting with other foreigners that I’m expected to smile.
K: Yeah. So I really enjoy that. What would be one that stands out for you? Something that you think is cool or awesome about Japan that’s different than the US?
C: I think the expectation that you have a car is not here in Japan so heavily.
K: I think in Nagoya, maybe. I think out in the countryside
C: Out in the countryside you need some way to get around, but I think in the major urban centers, it’s not shocking if you don’t have a car. And I think if you live in New York or some place like that then it’s also not shocking, but in California, even within San Francisco, it was shocking if you didn’t have a car.
K: And I find, being a foreigner, most Japanese nationals that I talk to expect that I don’t have a car.
C: Right.
K: Like, the expectation is that I don’t.
C: Right. So if you look at real estate listings, it doesn’t tell you the address. It tells you the nearest train station or subway stations.
K: Yeah, how many minutes walking.
C: Right. And there are laws about how you calculate how many minutes walk it is from a train station if you’re going to advertise for it, because that’s so central to it.
K: And how close you are to the different types of transportation really impacts how much your rent is, or how much the property can be sold for.
C: Yes.
K: That, and date of the building. How old the building is. So I think that’s really cool. I like the real estate laws, at least in my experience for residential real estate, there aren’t those wild fluctuations like there are in the United States. And so, for me, I think it’s really cool that you can save up a certain amount of money and have the down payment and all of that and pretty much know how much the property is going to be for basically what you want to buy. So, like, 1DKs, 5 minutes walk from a subway station/train station all go for about the same amount of price.
C: Well, that’s the twenty-year slump. Because before that there was a real estate bubble, especially in Tokyo.
K: Yeah, I’m not talking about Tokyo. Tokyo the real estate is still kind of wack.
C: Yeah, real estate is still a lot more fraught in Tokyo. But Nagoya is pretty stable.
K: For me, what I like about it is that there’s government loans that once you’re a permanent resident that you can get that are like 2% interest.
C: Yeah, there are some 0% mortgages.
K: Yeah, and I think that’s awesome. And all of the programs for like, first-time homeowners and all of that. I feel like there’s some socialized stuff going on there.
C: Well, there’s the UR housing, too. I think the UR housing is really cool. The UR housing–I forget what UR stands for, it’s Urban Reconstruction or something completely different–I’m either dead on with that or I’m not even close–but it is social housing (K laughs) that doesn’t
K: I’m sorry, just those options. I’m either dead on or not even close? (laughing)
C: Yes.
K: But we know for sure it’s UR. And I don’t know what that stands for. I can’t think of it.
C: It’s housing that doesn’t depend on your income, so people with a high income and people with a low income are eligible to live there. You just put yourself on the list and wait until a place comes open. And I know that that’s available in some other countries as well. I know in Singapore most people live in social housing. Private property is really rare. In Japan, private property is not rare, but the UR is available there as an option. It’s different than in the US. In the US, if you think about public housing, you’re thinking low-income housing. You’re not just thinking the government providing housing options for people.
K: Well, in California though they did start the below-market-rent for new real estate projects. For new apartment complexes there has to be a certain amount that goes for what below what the market is for the rent in that unit.
C: Right, but the BMR is intended, again, to help people who are on the poorer end of income. So you can’t necessarily qualify for below-market rent if you have an above-average salary.
K: So do you really think that these are the things that are cool about Japan? So, for me the reason that I think stable real estate is cool is because I find it easier to do straightforward investing. Like, I find real estate investing here to be really straightforward, and that’s cool to me. In the United States, I always felt like I was playing … rolling the dice. Like I was gambling. Like I was playing poker or craps or something. Or slots. Something that was just completely random and out of my control that had a little bit of skill. So I guess it was more poker than slots. And it just didn’t feel like a stable investment. I felt like when we sold our home, we were at the top of a bubble. But since we sold our home, I don’t think it’s worth what we sold it for anymore.
C: It’s worth at least that now, because there’s been another bubble, so…
K: Yeah, I’m not following California real estate.
C: Well, I think that’s to do with the very low inflation. Inflation is around 0% in Japan and has been for the last 20 years. And that causes its own problems. So, I like the lack of inflation, but we don’t have a lot of debt. We don’t have any Japanese debt.
K: We are like, so old. We are like, “the coolest thing is investing and inflation” (laughs). Like, what’s something hip and hot and trendy? That’s cool about Japan? So something that I’m disappointed in.
C: Okay.
K: I just want to shout out. The Pokemon games do not come out first in Japan, like I thought in the United States. They’re released the same time they’re released in the United States.
C: Now they are. But when we came to Japan the first time, we bought Leaf Green and Fire Red before they were available in the US. Because remember they tried to tell us “These are only in Japanese. It’s illegal to take them from Japan.”
K: Oh, yeah, I do remember that. But that was almost 15 years ago now.
C: Yes.
K: So I’m talking like, right now, in, what year is it? 2019. Right now in 2019, the … this is … that it’s just … it’s not technologically more advanced.
C: So I get that you only care about Pokemon. (K laughs) As far as video games.
K: Yes. Are there are other video? Am I wrong about this?
C: You are wrong about this.
K: I think not, sir.
C: There are some Japanese games like…
K: Disgaea?
C: Disgaea comes out first in Japanese, yeah, by quite a lot.
K: Really? Okay, what else?
C: So that’s why I play in Japanese. It’s not because my Japanese is so awesome, it’s because it comes out a long time sooner.
K: Your Japanese is awesome, babe. You need to step into your greatness.
C: DragonQuest also comes out a lot sooner in Japanese. And then there are games that don’t ever come out in English because they’re either thought to be too Japanese-specific or that there’s not enough of a market to translate them and localize them to English.
K: Okay.
C: So, yeah, one of the cool things I can do is I can play Japanese games before playing … before people who don’t speak Japanese can play them.
K: So, see, I feel really old because anime, manga, video games… that’s not what’s cool to me. Like, what’s cool to me is how fresh the produce is, and how tasty the fruit is. I feel like the fruit in Japan is smaller and sweeter. I feel like the produce in Japan is smaller and fresher and more flavorful. I feel like Japan just has, for me, … I don’t know, just more flavors.
C: It depends on the fruit. Like our bananas usually come from the Philippines.
K: Okay, which is the same as in the United States.
C: Yeah. So the fruit is all labeled as far as where it comes from. But our oranges are almost always local. There are some kinds from Aichi, which is the prefecture where we live, so that means they’re within
K: And the oranges… the mikans, oh my gosh. They are so tasty. They are so good.
C: Or they might be from Mie or Gifu, which are nearby.
K: And they are so sweet. So decadent. I absolutely love them.
C: All of the dairy is basically from Japan. So as far as milk and butter and everything, it’s mostly from Hokkaido. But there’s some local stuff. So, I mean, there’s regional products that are cool.
K: And I feel kind of cool for being able to make it in Japan. Because Japan is a hard fucking country… oops, I’m not supposed to be cursing.
C: We talked about this. It’s fine.
K: I know, but I’m just trying … I’m trying not to curse.
C: Oh, okay.
K: As much. As much. Because you know the f word is like my favorite word in the whole world. So, what was I saying? I completely lost my train of thought.
C: You were saying Japan is a hard fucking country.
K: (laughs) Yes, it is. Learning Japanese is hard. Building my business was hard. Just, being here everyday is hard. Going through the visa hustle was hard.
C: Well, in 2018, Japan was voted the worst country in Asia to live in.
K: Wow, did not know that.
C: For foreigners.
K: Why?
C: Because of tough immigration laws, because of low pay. The low pay was a particular thing, because I think this was Forbes or somebody like that who did this. So, in Japan, the number of people who make more than a million dollars a year is really really low.
K: Okay.
C: So, like, heads of major corporations are almost always Japanese because if you’re foreign, you can go to Indonesia or Malaysia or something and make 5x the amount of money. Or you can go to the US and make 20x the amount of money.
K: Really?
C: Yes.
K: See, and I happen to know some of the incomes of foreigners working in Japan.
C: So, under a million dollars a year, it’s not a problem. But as soon as you start hitting that million dollars a year, your name gets published publicly, so
K: Oh, yeah
C: And the CEOs, it would be scandalous if a CEO was making, you know, 600x what a worker was making.
K: Okay, yeah. So, I get that they’re trying to keep the gap low. But then they don’t count bonus as part of the income.
C: That includes bonus.
K: Really?
C: Yeah, but the bonus system is also part of why it’s not great to work in Japan.
K: Why?
C: Because you don’t have a steady, reliable income. So in the US you might have certain professions, like stock trading or whatever, where a bonus is a big part of your income. But here in Japan, even factory workers, there bonus might be as much as 1/5th of their income. That happens twice a year. Now, traditionally, the bonus is 1 or 2 or 3 month’s pay, depending on the company.
K: Well, and I think too there’s a lot of businesses that are shady. That don’t do bonuses. Because like the English-teaching industry is so super shady. And they don’t do bonuses. They don’t do… some companies do health care and pension and all of that, but some businesses don’t. And I think if you’re trying to become a permanent resident, that can really mess you up.
C: Yes, it can.
K: Because then you have to pay all your pension, and now you can only pay up to 3 years past pension. Which means that you know, you have to count from 3 years all the way through ten or possibly through 5 if you’re under 40 and meet the points system. So with all of that, that makes me feel like really cool and really strong, like “I did it.” I feel like “Dekita, motherfuckers, dekita!” with the permanent residency. Like, I made it. I’m here. I did it.
C: Yes.
K: And, man, I gambare’d my buns off. Because it was tough. Taihen desu yo! (laughs)
C: Gambaremasu is “to endure”, so whenever you talk about something difficulty somebody will always say “gambate, ne!” which just means “suck it up!”
K: Yes. “Do your best” is the polite translation, but it always feels like as an American it means “suck it up, buttercup.”
C: Yep.
K: And then my… I like saying “dekita” because little kids when they do something, they like to say “I did it!” because “dekimasu” is to do
C: to be able to do, so “I was able to do it”
K: And then, “taihen” is just like… that got me, man, when I was first here, everyone would say “taihen”. Oh, too bad. That’s tough for you, isn’t it.
C: Yeah, “taihen” is literally “big strange” (K laughs) but what it really means is
K: Yeah, nobody calls It big strange.
C: What it really means is “that’s tough”.
K: So I feel like I have persevered. I’m here. I’m still here, and I’m thriving.
C: Well, and you got that permanent residency with a foreign husband.
K: Yes, that’s always a huge… dust my shoulder off, dust both my shoulders off and pat myself on both shoulders because we did not do it the easy way.
C: Japanese people are like “Oh, you got permanent residency. What part of Japan is your wife from?”
K: Yeah.
C: The California part.
K: Thank you.
C: Eeeeeeehhhhh?
K: (laughs) The universal Japanese “I don’t believe you. That’s so amazing.” So, for me, doing it as two Americans over here together, I just look at something that’s cool that has nothing to do with Japan, but Japan has highlighted is how strong our partnership is.
C: Yes.
K: Because we did that as a team. That was a team effort, for me.
C: Yes. I feel like picking Japan was a team effort, too, because we chose Japan for a lot of reasons. One of the reasons was transportation, which I’ve talked about before. And I have absolutely love where we live because it is so close to so many different options. So I never feel stuck just because I can’t drive.
K: Yeah. But our son drives and has a car, so
C: Yeah.
K: I get driven everywhere. (laughs) I don’t take public transportation hardly anywhere. I’m like, “No.”
C: I think it’s a different experience for you.
K: Yes it is, because I get groped. So that is something that’s not cool about Japan. Something that’s really really shocking to me, that when it first happened, I didn’t know how to process it, is that people try and grope my breasts, and people grope my buttocks whenever I ride the train. And it’s not just false like “rocking into you” whoops. It’s seriously, hands open ready to get a squeeze-type groping. And I find if I can get a seat on the train that that doesn’t happen.
C: Right. Well, and the fact that there are signs on all the trains saying “groping is a crime” is like “We need to remind you guys that groping is a crime. You can go to prison for this.”
K: But there’s no way to prosecute it on the train. Like you know that that, you know, person is doing it deliberately.
C: Yeah. You’ve gotta catch somebody and you’ve gotta make a big noise and a big stink
K: But even making a big noise and a big stink it’s just… it’s sad to say, but for me it came down to “Do I want to have to have this argument? Do I want to have to drag them off the train? Make my commute longer. Make their comment longer. Well, I don’t really care about making their commute longer. But make my commute longer, go to the train station attendant, and then go to a police officer that’s not actually going to arrest them.
C: Right.
K: They don’t actually go to prison. They’ll get a stern talking to.
C: And a fine. So there’s usually “compensation”. So that’s one thing about the Japanese legal system is that if you wrong somebody else, usually there’s some compensation included. So that’s one of the ways that the Japanese prison population is so low.
K: Well, and too, I would have to get lucky and get a police officer who’s not biased against foreigner.
C: So that’s what I’m saying… for you it’s a totally different experience. For me
K: So that’s not cool about public transportation. But I still, like, all in all, I feel like there’s way less sexual harassment for me. Like, I don’t get catcalled. I don’t get approached. And I don’t … well, except for one incident, nobody has ever tried to like, kidnap me or anything. And all of this stuff happened in the United States on a regular basis. And I got groped all of the time in the United States. I got catcalled. I got people approaching me.
C: I think when we met you were being stalked by like 5 or 6 guys.
K: It wasn’t 5 or 6. I think it was like 3 or 4.
C: Oh, okay, 3 or 4. And I know
K: Yeah, 3 or 4 guys and a couple of women.
C: Okay. So I guess I shouldn’t have said “guys”, I should have said “people”. Because I know you were being stalked by multiple people, and when you and I became friends… a lot of them stopped.
K: Because I moved.
C: Yes, you moved.
K: And made it nowhere to find me because I moved quick and stealthy.
C: But you also had people stalking you on campus.
K: Yes, I did.
C: And I introduced myself to them. And they stopped.
K: Yep. They did. So, for me, I guess I’ve never felt like physical safety was a thing I had a lot of in the United States.
C: Yeah, I didn’t think so either.
K: But here in Japan, I feel like I have a lot of physical safety. I think the size of the people, that a lot of people are my height, helps a lot. And the fact that I’m a lot heavier helps a lot. And the fact that, aside from the groping on the train and the one instance where a guy tried to run me down with his car when we first moved here… aside from those things, I feel really safe. Which probably for people who have never experienced these things is probably like “What the heck? How could she feel safe with someone trying to run her down with a car?” But that was, gosh, like 9 years ago now?
C: Yeah.
K: (laughing) And it was shattering.
C: We’ve been in this place for ten years, so it must be more than
K: More than ten years, then. So for me, that was shattering and disturbing and one of the reasons we ended up in this place.
C: Right.
K: And so, for me, that was tough, and made me question being in Japan. But then since we’ve moved here, there really hasn’t been any of that. Since we moved here, and since I don’t ride the train standing up, now I know I need to sit down and I go to great lengths to make sure that I’m… that I can always have a seat on the train. Like, I figured out how to move through the world without being physically assaulted.
C: And I think because the patterns are so rigid, you can do that.
K: Yeah, and so, for me, it sucks that people think they can touch my body without my permission. That will always suck. I think a cool thing about Japan is that it’s so much easier for me to limit it. So much easier for me to just avoid it. Whereas, in the United States, I felt like everywhere I went all of the time… like, for me, going to the grocery store here in Japan, I don’t worry about somebody following me around in the grocery store. And I don’t worry about somebody, like, accosting me in an empty aisle. Which happened to me several times in the United States. And I don’t worry about somebody walking up on me when I’m in my car because at the grocery store, there are security guards.
C: Yes.
K: In the parking lot, and so someone couldn’t do that without being seen to do that. And inside the mall, there’s a lot of security as well. So with the increased security, I feel better protected because it just seems to me like Japan is more aware of some of the skeevy stuff that goes on.
C: Yeah.
K: Because there’s all kinds of posters about the skeeviness and saying “Hey, knock it off, this is illegal.” Like, looking up people’s skirts, putting mirrors to look up skirts, that’s illegal, taking photographs of people, that’s illegal. Filming under people’s skirts, that’s illegal. And, in the United States, these kinds of things happen all the time.
C: Yes.
K: Like, all the time. And so, you know, there wasn’t any day that I walked down the street in the United States that somebody didn’t catcall me or somebody didn’t approach me with some sort of sexual innuendo or some sort of sexual intent, and that just doesn’t happen to me here. So that’s really cool for me, to be free of that. (laughs)
C: Yeah, that is cool for you.
K: Because I thought like gaining weight meant that that would stop, and that wasn’t the case. So I didn’t find that my weight gain deterred anyone.
C: Well, I mean, you stayed gorgeous and you stayed a woman. And either of those was seen as “enough” in the US.
K: But the first one, “Awww”, and the second one, “Dammit!” Why does being a woman make that possible? So how is that experience for you? The fact that I get assaulted less.
C: I mean it’s good for me that you get assaulted less. … That was something that always disturbed me in the US, and something that I did what I knew how to do within the bounds of the law to prevent in the US.
K: And I always encourage you to stay within the bounds of the law. Like, I don’t want you to give up your liberty because that asshole decided to be crazy.
C: Yes. So, that’s a positive for me. I feel like I know the route to your office. I know when I should expect you back. Something that we don’t always talk about but, there is a black book that in case something happens to you, like to find out who you were with at the time.
K: Yeah. Well, and too, my office manager is across the hall from me. And my office manager pops in in-between sessions, and takes me home. So, there’s not any point in the day where it’s ever okay for someone to not lay eyes on me for longer than whatever a session length is. And I find if I’m doing sessions that are longer than 90 minutes, usually my office manager is in those sessions providing some sort of support as well.
C: Mmhmm, childcare or language or..
K: Yeah. Because I have done 12 hour sessions. Not my favorite. But sometimes it’s what’s necessary for the situation if it’s a crisis situation, to help somebody come out of crisis. And that’s different. Everybody knows going into that that it’s going to be an extended period of time. But it’s tough sometimes. There are people who have made me feel really really uncomfortable. And I just invite not to come back. And say “I’m sorry, this dynamic isn’t working for me. It makes me feel uncomfortable.” So, for the most part, I do feel a lot safer in Japan than I did in the United States. For me, I felt like… I feel like being groped in Japan if I’m on public transportation is probably inevitable… sad to say that, for me, that’s like “heavy sigh” but doesn’t ruin my day. But in the United States, I felt like I was in threat of being abducted on a regular basis. I was worried about abduction. Because I did have people try and grab my arm and lead me out of a store. I did have people approach me next to my vehicle and try and lure me out or push their way in. So I have had cases and scenarios where it felt like “Okay, this person is trying to abduct me for the purpose of assault.”
C: Right.
K: And fortunate for me, I was able to get out of those situations.
C: Yeah, I feel like I’m a lot safer, too. In the US, people did want to assault me for some reason. I don’t get why. And there’s a particular kind that happens here more frequently than it did in the US, but that’s when I’m out walking with my cane, there are some people who ride their bike directly at me… to try and make me move. Or walk rapidly directly at me, to try and make me move, like, to dodge. And I’m like “Umm, no.” (K laughs)
K: Don’t let the cane fool you. Don’t hurt yourself. Don’t mess around and get hurt.
C: There was a guy on a bike. Must have been probably 60 years old. I’m a foot taller than him. A hundred pounds heavier. He thought because he had a bike he could just ride at me. He rode at me, and I wasn’t moving, so he swerved the last moment. Not enough to avoid clipping soldiers. And he fell, and I kept on stepping. So I’m surprised by that kind of aggression. But, you know, that used to happen to me when I was teenager, too, in Alaska.
K: Well, and that happened to you as an adult in the US as well. I think it’s the beard, man. I really do. Because people react so bizarre to your beard.
C: Yeah, like it’s a threat.
K: Or like it gives them an excuse to treat you as… I don’t know… as something that they can reach out and touch or something that they can have contact with. You know? So I think that’s weird, that you’re just a bearded man.
C: But it does happen less frequently here.
K: And I find other bearded men that I know have the same experience. Because you have a long beard. It’s not a close-cropped beard. And it’s absolutely stunning. Absolute gorgeous. I love it. It’s beautiful and sexy. So, but I feel like living in Japan is cool, and I feel like it’s safer, but I don’t know if you do.
C: Yeah, I feel like it’s safer. It’s definitely safer for me to have ways to get around that don’t involve me driving. Because I did drive (K laughs) for quite a long time after I should have.
K: Yeah, not safe. Completely not cool. But that’s because we didn’t fully understand your seizure disorder.
C: Correct.
K: And the doctors weren’t able to give us clear answers and so we did lots of research and figured it out for ourselves, and then did what was safe for you.
C: Yeah, so I feel safer here. I feel like one cool thing is taxes.
K: Okay?
C: They’re just so much more straightforward here.
K: How so?
C: So, in the United States, they estimate the burden of filing your taxes is something like 8 hours per person, on average.
K: Oh, yeah. And here it’s like 15 minutes.
C: Yeah. For the whole family. So when I was … had regular employment, I would just go down once a year and say “Yep, that was my income.” and they would say “great, your taxes are done” and that was the whole thing. (K laughs) There’s not a long form. You just go down and tell them what your income was and they file it and you’re done.
K: Yeah, and even having a business it’s that straightforward. It’s so less complicated. And how much proof I have to have is so less compared to the proof I would have to have in the United States, even if I were to be audited the proof that I need to have is so much less.
C: Yes.
K: And because I invoice, the invoices are the only proof that I need.
C: Right.
K: So that’s really nice for me.
C: So I feel like with taxes, they’re a lot more straightforward, and I feel like it’s a lot fairer.
K: Hmm.
C: Now there are some wonky things about timing and such. They expect that you’ll stay at the same job for your entire life.
K: Yeah.
C: So if you quit a job, that can cause some discomfort as they try to figure out what to do with you between now and the next ‘reset’ period.
K: Yeah, well, no, they don’t… spend any time trying to figure out what to do with you. They just tell you “we’re keeping everything at these levels. Even if you’re making less money, we don’t care. For this term, this is how much we’re going to charge you because this is what we expect you to make this time.”
C: Or even if you’re making more money.
K: So it can work positively or negatively. … So there were some things that I thought were cooler about the United States than Japan. For me, I just like the amount of snack foods.
C: I was thinking that
K: In the United States
C: There’s a much wider variety of snack foods in the United States.
K: And… the roads. I liked how wide the roads are. I don’t like the narrowness of the roads here. I liked how wide the roads were, and I liked the freeways. A lot. Like, I loved 280. I loved 101. I didn’t like 17 so much because it was always so crowded. So these are highways in Northern California. And 280 is just really wide and through the mountains and just a beautiful ride, to me. And I haven’t really found as many scenic rides in Japan. I think I will now that Rasta has a car. But I miss those scenic drives.
C: I think that’s just where we live. Because we live in a major urban city. I think if you look at, you know, in California, we lived in a major urban city and to get scenic you had to get out of the city first.
K: But it was really quick to get out of the city where we lived.
C: Yeah, there was that. Because I went on some business retreats that were in really pretty places. And we’ve gone some pretty places, like Nikko and Asahikawa and things.
K: And something I absolutely loved loved loved about California, Northern California specifically, was Bay Area Backroads. There was this TV show that was on in the 90s, and it was called Bay Area Backroads, and this dude would go somewhere cool every episode. He’d go to one or two places that were out of the way and fun to go for families. He would talk all about it, and then you can could go and do and have that experience. And I find that I just, now that Rasta has a car, I look at the Nagoya City website, and there are a lot of, like Bay Area Backroads-type experiences. And the last time there was the turning of the leaves, Rasta and I did find a scenic road that had just really beautiful foliage. And over the last holiday season, we did manage to find a couple houses, like driving around, that were doing Christmas, with the lights, timed to music, and all of that. So….
C: I think there’s an obsession with seasonality in Japan that there’s not in the United States.
K: I think maybe in California there’s not the obsessions. But I’ve been places that talk about it a little bit. At least other Americans talk about they have a lot of seasonality. But you’re saying the passion?
C: I’m saying the passion for being seasonal. That making it so special. And I think that contributes to some of the differences, especially in snack foods, where here there’s, you know, you can go to the Kit Kat Konfectionary and get, you know, 40 different flavors of Kit Kat. And most of them are “limited time” flavors.
K: Yes.
C: So a lot of the different, if I really like a food and it’s seasonal.
K: I’m not into Kit Kat. I’m sorry. I like them, but I’m just not into Kit Kat.
C: I’m not saying Kit Kat specifically. I mean, Kit Kit Konfectionary is
K: Yeah, there really is a Kit Kat
C: But I’m saying as far as snack foods, when you’re saying one cool thing about the US is variety of snack foods, I think it’s because they’re all available at once. I think if you took over three years and you say “Okay, what was ever available”, the variety of snack food in Japan would be similar.
K: What do you mean?
C: There are so many foods that are only available at certain times of year, for no particular reason.
K: So for me there’s one particular snack food I absolutely miss. And that’s ice cream sandwiches. I absolutely miss ice cream sandwiches. And I thought Japan had ice cream sandwiches for a hot minute.
C: They did. It was a limited time thing.
K: And they haven’t had them since.
C: And they had Jiffy Pop for a limited time.
K: And I’m “What the what, Japan?” Like, “What’s good, Japan?”
C: Right, because microwave popcorn kind of works in our microwave. But when we saw Jiffy pop, because we have a gas stove, we can make Jiffy pop. And the Jiffy pop was here for like three weeks before they said “Okay, we’re done with that.”
K: Yeah, that was heart-breaking. And these aren’t like we’re going to specialty stores. We’re going to the regular grocery store, buying what’s off the shelves, and so… the shelves, like there are some staples that are always available like rice and pasta and usually bread. But bread is not always available. And so I guess, yeah, I do miss the reliability of just going to the grocery store and knowing what’s going to be there.
C: Yes.
K: That was really cool. And lunch meat! Jiminy crickets. When we went to Spain, that was one of the things I loved most about Spain was they had lunch meat.
C: And more than just ham. Because ham is available here as lunch meat.
K: Where do you mean?
C: You can get ham, slice ham is easily available here.
K: Like the really thing how I like
C: No, not the really thing
K: So then it’s not lunch meat, the one I’m talking about. I’m talking about the super-thin sliced lunch meat.
C: Okay, yeah, no this is double and triple thickness. It’s not the Budig super thin.
K: So I like the highly processed, really bad for you, highly process and pressed thin sliced lunch meat.
C: Right. So that kind of stuff
K: Or like a deli select. Deli select is not a highly processed and bad for you. Deli select is good.
C: That kind of stuff I think you’d have to go to a butcher here and pay 40 or 50 dollars a pound for it.
K: Do you think they’d be able to do it?
C: At 40 or 50 dollars a pound, they’d be able to do it.
K: For the turkey?
C: Yeah.
K: Really? So you think you can get oven roasted honey turkey?
C: I think to get oven roasted honey turkey, you’d have to order it early
K: Oh my gosh
C: You’d have to buy 20 lbs of it
K: Yeah, no, ain’t nobody got time for that.
C: It’d cost you $80, at minimum.
K: No. Not anybody got time or that. And so I find Japan to be a trip because Japan will run out of chocolate chip cookies. Butter. Milk. Bread. Like, things in the United States you could never run out of. And yes I did start with chocolate chip cookies. And so I love that in the United States I could always get chocolate cookies, bread, milk, and butter, any time I wanted to. And bagels! I could buy a bagel any time of day!
C: Yes.
K: Like, I could just wake up at 2 in the afternoon and go get a bagel if I wanted to. (laughs)
C: There are days, you’re like “I’m really in the mood for a bagel. Can you go to the store and get me a bagel?” And I just say “No, it’s Tuesday.” (K laughs) “Sorry, no bagels on Tuesdays.”
K: Yeah, so, the United States has a lot of stuff that it does right, and Japan has a lot of stuff that it does right, and I don’t feel like either country is perfect. But, for me, I guess I don’t really think of living in Japan as cool, as honest. I mean, I know I said there are things that are cool about living in Japan, but to me I’m just getting up living my life. And that life happens to be in Japan.
C: Yes.
K: And I have social and political reasons for why I’m making that making that choice every day, but in terms of being cool or kitschy or fun… that’s not what motivates me.
C: No, I think it’s different. So I think if you’re in the US and you see Japanese products, like I know Pocky has become popular in the US
K: Pocky?
C: Pocky, yeah.
K: Pocky is good stuff.
C: Pocky is good stuff, yeah. And it’s been discovered in the US. People were importing it. I guess they’re shipping it directly so you don’t have to import it anymore. But we get seasonal pocky.
K: Mmhmm.
C: Like, you know, sometimes I can get “Gentleman’s Flavor” Pocky.
K: And there’s always sakura-flavored special, cherry-blossom flavor. Which is interestingly enough, the cherry-blossom flavors are usually strawberry, which I think are strawberry. Which I think is so interesting. Why aren’t they plum or cherry?
C: You can’t tell the difference but those are cherry.
K: What?
C: You can’t tell the differences between actual cherry and artificial strawberry, so you think that they are artificial strawberry. They’re actually cherry.
K: So are you saying that actual cherry tastes like artificial strawberry?
C: I’m saying that actual cherry tastes like artificial strawberry to you.
K: Okay. I’ll take that.
C: Yes.
K: (laughs) You say “Yes” like I have no choice. I could reject that, sir.
C: It’s like some people with the cilantro gene, where it tastes like soap to them.
K: What?
C: Some people have a genetic thing where cilantro tastes like soap.
K: Okay…?
C: And some people do not.
K: Okay. I will be Googling this after the show.
C: You should. In college I had to do this in my biology class. They had cilantro and we tasted it and recorded how many people it tasted like soap and how many people it didn’t. Because they know it’s one specific gene that controls it. I think you have the gene that where actual cherries taste like artificial strawberries.
K: No, when I eat cherries, and the cherries here are so good… they’re so expensive when they’re not in season, and then not available, just randomly cut you off, cherries aren’t available anymore… they don’t taste anything like artificial strawberry to me.
C: But you buy the American cherries.
K: So what are you saying? I don’t feel like I buy the American cherries.
C: You specifically buy them. They’re called “American cherry.”
K: Yeah, but I don’t think they really come from America.
C: They really come from America. (K laughs) Most of the cherries grown in Japan (K continues laughing) are not sold as fruit to be eaten, they’re used in other things.
K: Okay, because interestingly the American cherries are cheaper.
C: Yes.
K: So that’s why I thought “these can’t be imported” because they’re imported.
C: Yes. But they’re imported.
K: And so they’re not. Because there will like randomly be super cheap and then super expensive.
C: Yeah, they’ll randomly go from $3 a pound to $35 a pound.
K: Yeah. And I love the apple pears. Which is something I discovered after moving to Japan. Love ‘em. They are amazing.
C: I miss grapples, though.
K: What do you mean? Grape apples?
C: I haven’t seen those here.
K: No, I haven’t. You know I’ve only ever seen grapples at Cosentino’s in Santa Clara. I’ve never seen them anywhere else. Have you?
C: I’m not sure. That’s where we bought them at. That’s where we shopped, so… I don’t know.
K: Shout out to Cosentino’s in Santa Clara. I hope they’re still there. They’re an amazing store. I loved everything about shopping at that store. It was an awesome experience. Always felt really good to shop there.
C: Yep. And across the street was the Albertson’s or Safeway or whoever had bought them at the moment, just kind of struggling along.
K: So I guess to sum up today, living in Japan is cool and awesome, but not for any novel reasons, just for, I guess, the reasons that brought us here in the first place.
C: So if you’re going to come as a tourist, it’s really cool because everything’s going to be new.
K: Yeah, and you’ve gotta go to monkey park and see the Great Buddha. One of the Great Buddhas. Or all of the Great Buddhas. There’s so many things to do. And I do enjoy being a tourist, but I’m not into going to castles and shrines anymore.
C: If you come here, you’re going to go through the honeymoon … to live … you’re going to go through the honeymoon period, where for a few months, everything is perfect, Japan can do no wrong.
K: Mmm. Some people don’t even get that.
C: Yeah. I’m sad for them.
K: Depends on like… ‘cause for me the first time I came, I did not experience any honeymoon period. That apartment was atrocious.
C: Oh, yeah, no, that was rough.
K: Yeah. So, depending on where you land
C: Depending on where you land
K: And how you well you set it up.
C: And then there’s the “through of disillusionment” I think is the academic term for it, where you realize that “Oh, man, Japan is an actual place with actual people, not everything is great about it.” And then some people adjust to that and like it, and some people leave Japan.
K: Yep. I always advise everybody to give Japan six months before you decide. And, for me, if you hate your job, quit. Because that is … now this is something I do think is cool… Japan’s visas are not attached to your job, so it doesn’t matter where you work, it matters what you do for work.
C: Right.
K: So you can quit your job, and then be unemployed the entire rest of your visa, and it won’t be an issue until you need to renew. You have to let immigration know and say “hey, I’m looking for a job”, but it won’t affect your ability to stay in the country.
C: In contrast with the US, where if you quit your job you have to get a new visa because your job is tied to your visa. It’s the same way in Korea, but probably most of our listeners don’t live in Korea. And now they’ve combined some of the visa types. It used to be if you wanted to be an engineer, which included software engineers, you had to have 10 years of experience.
K: Or a degree.
C: No. It used to be you had to have 10 years of experience to be an engineer.
K: Okay.
C: The only one with “or a degree” was the “international services / humanities” … the English-teaching visa.
K: Or the therapist visa.
C: Nope. Oh, yeah, the therapist visa because that’s under the
K: That’s a humanities visa.
C: That’s under international services because you’re dealing primarily with international people. So, they combined that with the engineer visa because they could not find enough qualified software engineers with 10 years experience who wanted to move to Japan for a 60% pay cut. So… now, most of the software engineering people coming over come from India, where I think it’s slightly higher wages than in India.
K: So Japan is like anywhere else. There’s good and bad.
C: Yeah.
K: And I think the United States is like anywhere, where there’s good and bad. It just depends on what your value systems are, and what you want from the place that you live. What your expectations are. And I think with, with good expectations comes a good outcome.
C: So for me my happiness is not dependent upon living in Japan, but the way that I’m happy is built around Japan.
K: Yep.
C: And if we lived somewhere else, the way that I would be happy would be built around that place.
K: Yep. Well said.
C: Thank you.
K: So that sums us up for today guys. Thanks for tuning in and listening to another ramble. (laughs) Another interesting conversation between me and my honey.
C: That’s me.
K: So we hope that you tune in next time.
C: Yes, we do.
K: Bye.
C: Bye bye.