K
So lately, I’ve been thinking about something that’s kind of convoluted. I’ve been thinking about Japan and the United States from outside in. Because now I’m outside of the US and looking in. And before I was outside of Japan and looking in and some things that have changed. Some things are like really strange. And the thing that’s – that like kind of triggered this, this way of thinking, is I feel like the American conversation about Asians does not include Japan. They have Asian and Pacific Islanders. And the Japanese do not consider themselves Asian. And growing up in California, I was taught that Japanese people are Asian, but living in Japan, Japanese people consider themselves Japanese and Pacific Islanders, but not Asians, because they don’t live on the continent of Asia. And people from India, the subcontinent are Asian, which, in the United States, they’re not classified as Asian. But
C
Yeah, people would be like, technically, I guess.
K
Most people would be like, no, they’re not Asian. They wouldn’t even be like, technically, they’d be like they’re a subcontinent. And so looking at those kinds of classifications, it’s just, it’s interesting to me.
C
Yes. I find that some Japanese people do identify as Asian, but they’re like, but I know that Japan is not really part of Asia.
K
Yeah.
C
It is part of the Asian region. But it’s a series of volcanic islands off the coast of the Asian continent.
K
Yeah, because there’s over 200 islands in Japan, like what’s considered Japan. And that’s important. And we’ve talked about this before, because that dictates how much of the ocean floor you get.
C
Yeah, and international waters.
K
Yeah, it’s really complex.
C
What it means for an island to be occupied and all of that.
K
So for me, a Pacific Islander, I grew up thinking of actually only two islands, which now like, I’ve expanded – I talked about being geographically ignorant before, but I just think, Hawaii and Samoa, and that was it for me. And I always tripped out that when the Japanese would move to – move to Hawaii. They would be like, yeah, we’re Pacific Islanders. They consider themselves and I’m like, but not really, your Asian, would be in my head. I wouldn’t say that to anyone. Because I you know, everybody gets to choose how they identify. But I always think nuh-uh.
C
Well, I think that’s why Asian and Pacific Islander became a phrase because I remember when I was young, and that means it was definitely when you were young, because the age.
K
No, it means when I was an adult.
C
Yeah, no. They just said Asian.
K
Yes. There was
C
Like people from the Philippines: Asian. People from Malaysia: Asian. People from Japan: Asian. And now there’s a much kind of more awareness that Asian and Pacific Islander properly encompasses, like people in the Philippines don’t live on the Asian continent, either.
K
Correct.
C
And some of them say, I’m Asian, some of them stand Pacific Islander, but most of them just say, I’m from the Philippines. Like, why do you need to define it further?
K
Yeah, and so there’s this really interesting conversation that kind of happened after the movie Crazy Rich Asians came out about the diversification and the difference between born in the United States versus coming from Asia, and how that creates like a different dynamic. And for me, I find that being an expat creates a different dynamic. And I’m no longer – when I look at the United States, the thing I feel most is sadness.
C
Yeah.
K
And when I was living in the United States, I truly felt like I was living in the best country in the world. And I really, you know, I was, I’m super patriotic, and I just loved the country. And I was
C
Yeah, when we met, you told me, I will never leave California.
K
Yeah. And I was like anyone who lives outside of the United States, and they’re American, there’s something wrong with them.
C
Yeah.
K
And that there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. And then it was giving birth to, you know, our son and starting to look at the world and what the United States meant for him as a black man.
C
Right.
K
And that became a really scary thing for me, and I don’t know why I wasn’t terrified before them because I had lived a terrifying life.
C
But when I met you, you were not ever concerned for your own life.
K
No, I wasn’t.
C
Your attitude was very much hey, if I die, I die. And it was – your only concern there was who would take care of our son?
K
Yeah. I was always fixated on. And we always had like somebody that was not related to us that had agreed to take him on because none of our relatives were fit.
C
Right.
K
And that was always my concern. And so for me, I just surrounded myself with people who were more dangerous than the people who wanted to hurt me. And that kept me safe. And when I think about that now, like, I would not want to live next to a drug dealer with armed guards. I would not want to live next, down the street from somebody with military grade weapons. And in California, I always live near somebody with a lot of weapons.
C
Yeah. When I met you, like, I was driving a Miata. This was before I was sure that I should not drive.
K
Yeah.
C
And I asked if I could park in your driveway, because you had a lot of units along that driveway. Like,
K
Parking was just – on my street was impossible. I was impossible to park. And to make it worse, every other day, you could only park on one side of the street. Because they did street – the street sweeper, it was a really long street. And the street sweeper was – do it in sections. And so there were times – it’s really, the parking was really complicated.
C
So I asked, hey, can I park in here and you’re like, let me check. And then you went and checked, and then I parked and the drug dealer came out. I’m not gonna say his name. But he came out and he was like, hey, nice to meet you. You know, are you new boyfriend? I’m like, I’m a friend. Because at the time, we were just friends. And he’s like, don’t worry about your car. Anything. Nothing will happen to it. It’s good to see that that Kisstopher has a friend.
K
Yeah. And then when we got together, they were like, really, really happy. But also, you know, we’ve talked about like, all the people I have around me, but even when we moved to – so when we moved from when I moved out of the ghetto into suburbia, our life actually – my life became more violent in suburbia.
C
Yeah.
K
Because our next door neighbor actually called the police and accused us of running a brothel out of our apartment and out of our home that we owned. And the police never responded.
C
They accused us of running a brothel because we had like 20 cars parked outside because we were having some friends over.
K
We were having a kid’s party.
C
Yeah.
K
We’re having a kid’s party.
C
This must be a brothel. Like, how does 20 cars all arriving at once make it a brothel? Like, shouldn’t it be like, one or two arriving like what their headlights off in the night?
K
And so the police never came because there wasn’t like – is there a noise disturbance or like – and then we had another neighbor who, you know, would always vandalize our, our car and our cars. And do weird things like fill up our trash cans, and just, you know, constant harassment, and it was just never safe. And being on the outside of the United States, I am so aware of what’s going on in states other than California. Like California is jacked up, and the fires and all of that, but I grew up with that. So I was used to that all the time, but now I’m really aware of all of the state’s legislation. I’m more politically aware than I was in the United States, because I was a very local activist. And now looking at the world through a new lens and looking at the United States, and looking at how the United States interacts with other countries. I didn’t really pay much attention beyond the UN.
C
Right.
K
And now I’m looking at it and it’s just, I can’t look at it for too long, because it just bums me out and makes me so sad. It makes me so sad. And now I’m so much more aware of Canadian politics. And in the United States, we’re like, oh, Canada’s the good country. They do everything right. They’re, you know, they’re not racist. There were the slaves escaped and stuff. And I see that no, Canada’s a mass.
C
Yeah.
K
And Mexico is not as big of a mess as it’s made to, just to be out as it’s made out to be. And I think that, to me, it’s really, I don’t know, it’s really kind of sad the way the world has changed for me in some ways really bums me out and the way the world has changed for me in some ways, really makes me feel good about myself. Like I really love understanding the nuances and differences when we say the word Asian. I love the nuances and differences in my understanding of Pacific Islanders.
C
Yeah, I found that even though I went all the way through my undergraduate in the US, it wasn’t until I became an editor here in Japan that I learned that the full name of Mexico is the United States of Mexico.
K
Yes.
C
And that it has a bunch of states has like what? I mean, I guess that makes sense. But how did I not know this before? So I don’t feel like the world has changed so much. I mean, it has, but as my awareness. And so here in Japan, there’s kind of – there’s a lot of colorism, which I don’t feel entitled to speak to, but a lot of it is based on the fact that there are people here of Korean descent. And then there are indigenous peoples on different islands. Like when we went to Hokkaido a few years ago, we went to the Ainu Museum, which the Ainu are the indigenous peoples of Hokkaido. And they’re still there. They’re not – they haven’t been wiped or anything. And the Ainu Cultural Museum was really moving. Them saying, Look, we’re still here. This is our lifestyle. We’ve been here for this long.
K
They’re mistreated.
C
They’re definitely mistreated.
K
Like all indigenous people – it’s horrible history.
C
Right, right. So they’re mistreated because of racism within Japan, and I didn’t expect to encounter racism within Japan, because the outside in view is very much like Japan is 98 and a half percent Japanese.
K
Yeah. There’s a lot of foreigners here. A lot more foreigners than they cop too.
C
Well, one half percent is more than a million. So like, that still gets you to a lot of foreigners. But within Japan, there are also different groups. So people from like the Ruku islands have a distinct accent and experienced discrimination if they come here. And from outside of Japan, they’re like, no, it’s just all harmony. And the only people who disrupt us are foreigners who come.
K
Yes.
C
And just seeing that’s not the case. Like there’s a lot of stuff going on with within. And a lot of it is we’re not Asian, we’re Japanese.
K
Yeah, a great deal of it is. And that distinction is, is really interesting to me for the difference and the Japanese nationals who hold that distinction. And the difference in Japanese nationals who do not, I feel like it’s the same in my community where I say, where I do not say, I’m African American, and y’all know, I get heated about that. I am American, and I am black. And I identify as black because Africa is a continent, and I am definitely not Northern African. You know, I know that my I – I don’t actually know, I assume so. I haven’t done the DNA test thing. And I don’t believe in that, but whatever. I don’t think I need Gyptian.
C
Right. Or Algerian or yeah.
K
Yeah. So for me, it’s, it’s like that. It’s that personal for them as well. And I completely respect that. And it’s just – it’s a trip being here and seeing that, and really getting to understand – for me, I didn’t understand that the French were complete colonizers. But I knew that the Vietnam War was based on America’s support of France. French domination of the country of Vietnam, so the Vietnam War was actually a revolution and the Vietnamese people were trying to take their country back from the French.
C
Yeah, I think the perception I grew up with was, well, the the French colonized in black countries. So like, yeah, we know about Haiti. And we know about, you know, Senegal, like our first French teacher was from Senegal.
K
Yeah, but they only did a few.
C
Right.
K
They weren’t really colonizing, but they really colonize the heck out of Asia and, and having like, people from Lao PDR, the Peoples Democratic Republic of Lao and not calling it Lao, because that’s what the colonizers named it. And then like, the Burma and Myanmar discussion and all of that, and really understanding the – the impact of colonization on these countries. Some are thriving, post colonization, some are just still really struggling post colonization because all of their systems were dismantled, right. And they’re called – their culture was lost because when the colonizers lost, they just bailed. And that’s just so interesting to me, looking at the west versus east, and seeing that the west just really did their best from my perspective, to decimate the east.
C
Yes. And I think that was based on like, non-competition. Like, let’s make sure that nobody from here can compete.
K
Yes.
C
And I think that we see aspects of that here in in Japan, where Japan historically has been the colonizer still the Empire of Japan. And they controlled a lot of Asia. And then, after World War Two, the Americans occupied Japan for like, eight years.
K
Yeah.
C
I should really know the exact number but, and part of that was writing the constitution. So periodically, it comes up that we should rewrite the Constitution to be the Japanese Constitution, not influenced by the Americans, and return to our empire roots, like raising an army and the right to, like aggressively fight wars, and that kind of thing comes up as a national pride.
K
Yeah.
C
But there’s also right wingers who are very pro America. So it’s like, there’s a schism there’s the right wingers who are like fuck America.
K
Yeah.
C
And then there’s the right wingers who are like, we love America.
K
Yeah. So, what I find is really, really interesting is the illusion that Japan has created that they don’t have a military. We live down the street from a military base, that is a Japanese military base. And they routinely run exercises, military exercises, and there’s notifications that go out and I would have to – it was interesting for me, when I was doing therapy, and in my office. I, I would have to warn them, that they’re doing flight exercises, there will be military helicopters flying over the unit saying things and they are preparing for war. This is an actual war exercise that they’re doing. And I can explain to you what’s being said, and what’s being done. But for me, I just ignore it. They’re not going to drop any bombs. Nothing’s happening, because I wouldn’t know anyone’s Japanese language level. And if you have, like, if you’re in that place where you can’t get the warning, you don’t understand the warning. But you hear them like running sirens. And you hear them saying that they’re going to drop bombs. It’s really scary. And they would. So they run these fight simulations and these war simulations here in the city of Nagoya, and we’re pretty one a big city, but I wouldn’t think of it as like
C
Well, we’re strategically important. Something like 70% of Japanese heavy industry is here in Aichi.
K
Yeah.
C
So if they were going to build planes, which they do they build them here in Nagoya, which they do.
K
Yes. And they build a lot of military planes. And I think something that people aren’t aware of is, is that they have a lot of American military technology in the planes that they build. And so they’re not like, there’s the whole – like we talked before about they’re trying to build a plane in time for the Olympics. That didn’t happen. And all of that. But the military here is huge. And like the Navy is huge. And the Japanese Navy is so technologically advanced. Japan was one of the first countries in the world to be able to launch a plane from a submarine. They still have that technology.
C
They do. Yeah.
K
They still have those submarines. But post World War Two, they sank their navy. Yeah, as part of like the eight years of Asian occupation. And now they’re just sharing that technology with the United States. I don’t know whether or not the United States is taking part in that. But like from the outside in, when I was in the United States, I truly believe that Japan didn’t have a military. I honestly believed that. And I truly believed that Japan had sunk its entire military, like Navy that it didn’t have Navy and that without the US to protect it, it would be completely lost. And that’s not true.
C
Yeah, the Japanese self defense force – so it doesn’t, Japan does not have a large a large standing army compared to the US, but
K
It doesn’t have the same population. And it doesn’t have the same geography,
C
But the only the only country that has anything even close is China, in terms of number of people and in terms of amount of dollars.
K
I think Russia too.
C
Not in terms of number of people who are employed full time in the military.
K
Okay. Yeah.
C
And in terms of budget, the US dwarfs like I forget how many countries but many, many countries.
K
Well, and that’s part of so for me, I grew up understanding. Because in California before Reagan got mad that California didn’t vote for him and shut all the bases. And then Clinton also shut all the bases. But the military is big business in the United States where to build those ships, where to build those planes. Those contracts are huge and worth millions and millions of dollars. And so if America was to stop investing in its military, whole states would just collapse. It would be like Detroit with the car industry.
C
It’s the biggest employer in the US.
K
Yeah.
C
I grew up in Fairbanks. And I moved there to Fort Wainwright, which is, like technically part of Fairbanks, I think. But like half the population in Fairbanks is military. So if you take the military out, and this was the argument back when they were looking at base closures, they’re like, if you close Fort Wainwright, then Fairbanks will die. And the population has gone down by 40% since I lived there. And I don’t know what that has to do with military stuff. Like, I’m assuming that’s a smaller base or something. But here in Japan, there are the US military bases. And that’s when you know you’re on a military base. Because the Self Defense Force doesn’t have bases. It’s just like,
K
They have storage facilities and dormitories. It’s a base. It’s just not – you could not walk on to the military bases down the street from our house. It’s a military base.
C
Well, but there’s guards at the Mitsubishi factory, too. So if I walked onto there, they’d be like, what are you doing here? Do you belong here?
K
They’re armed guards at the military base. So I like you have this weird glitch, where you cannot see the military base I pointed it out to you know. There are armed guards.
C
I know exactly what you’re talking about.
K
It’s one of the few places the few places in Japan I’ve ever seen guns.
C
Right. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Having grown up on military bases, it doesn’t feel like it to me, because it’s not a self contained city. Like it doesn’t have its own shopping and mechanics for the public, not for their vehicles. And, you know, its own schools, like, there aren’t kids who go to school on the base.
K
Right.
C
And so to me, that feels different than a US military base, where it is a self contained city, like it can totally survive without any of the surrounding city.
K
And I think that’s because your army kid.
C
Yeah. That’s why I say that’s because I grew up on military base.
K
So another country that I think is really interesting from the outside in, is France, because so I talked a little bit about France being colonizers, but also for me, I was taught that France was like, really not racist, and – like growing up in the United States. I was told, you know, because you hear Josephine Baker and how she was welcomed there. And when you actually get into the history.
C
Yeah, James Baldwin moving to Paris, and yeah.
K
Yeah and it’s like, okay, those are two examples. But I’ve mentioned before, like, they had black people in zoos in the 50s. Still, in France, and Josephine Baker went over to France as a burlesque dancer, stripper. Fancy name for a stripper. And during the war, she was – the way that she was a spy was through sex, and doing sex work. And I don’t, you know, I don’t have any issues with that. And so for me, growing up with the myth that, you know, France was this peace loving place and really open and they’re supposed to be cutting edge and just so much more welcoming and just so much more, better than the US and then going there. And having it was so jarring to have the – have a military presence in the airport.
C
Yeah, we went we flew into Paris through Charles de Gaulle. And there were a lot of military people there in camo in the airport, which doesn’t seem like it would be very effective, but okay.
K
It’s very jarring because they have rifles on their shoulders and dogs.
C
Yeah, fully automatic weapons. And if there are any gun nuts who listen, which probably not yes, they were fully automatic weapons.
K
Yeah. And that was really jarring. And then there was – the we talked about it before when we went what they were using a – what were they’re using, there’s like that spate of robberies?
C
Hatchet.
K
Yeah, hatchet robberies where they were just breaking into windows.
C
The jewelry store down down the street from us. And now that’s like a big thing in the US. Oh, organized gangs are robbing retail my but that was happening five years ago when we were in, in Paris, like
K
That was happening since I was a kid.
C
Yes. Look at movies from the 50s. You could see it.
K
Yeah. So now they’re having – and in Japan, having like the death of the Yakuza and having like, it’s so weird. Real Yakuza versus movie Yakuza and, and all of that it’s so different. And people are like, most people, you will never see anyone. And I’ve seen several Yakuza members with their tattoos, they don’t hide them as much as people think that they do. And it’s not as much of a problem. And I find that even Japanese nationals when they’re talking about it, they still play it up a bit. And I find it interesting, because when you’re like, if you go on YouTube, or if you want Medium where you have Japanese nationals who speak English, I find that they assume that they know so much more about the country and culture of their English teacher than they actually do.
C
Yeah.
K
And a lot of English, a lot of Japanese nationals who speak English fluently didn’t go to college, outside of Japan – actually learned it in Japan studied it in Japan. And I look at a lot of the YouTubers and I’m like, this is just so not – what they’re saying is not my lived experience. Like their advice about Japan is not my lived experience, their comments about foreigners, not my lived experience. And they’re doing that for entertainment. They’re not doing that to actually be educational. And so like things you should never ever do in Japan, if you like go onto YouTube, or go read anything. And you will find so many different things of what you should and should never do in Japan, and it’s such a millieu. And they’re just not true. I mean, they’re true for some people, I guess. But it’s not that serious.
C
Okay, but the funniest example. Maybe I’ve mentioned this before, I think about the advice about business cards page that was up when we moved here to Japan. And the number one thing was, don’t ever give somebody a warm card because it’s offensive.
K
Yeah.
C
It was supposed to be worn. But somebody’s like, they sound so similar in Japanese, because the the terminal “n” and the terminal “m” are the same. Yeah. Like in the middle. It they’re different. But at the end, there’s no way to distinguish between whether it’s an “n” or “m”.
K
Yes.
C
And so it was supposed to be worn, like worn out. But somebody put it as, like warn W A R N. And then someone else was like, oh, this is a typo. Let me collect it – correct it to warm. Yeah. And so you could find, like card chillers, from people who thought, oh, I don’t want to give somebody a warm card.
K
And then someone was like, well, let me take advantage of people who don’t know better. Because they’re super expensive card holders.
C
Right. That keep them cold.
K
Yeah, no. And I remember somebody got a promotion, I went to their promotion party. And I bought them a really nice card holder and gave it to them. And they had been here for like a decade. And they didn’t have a car holder. And they like, teared up and they’re like, this is this makes me feel so seen and cared for. And I was just like, it was super dramatic. And I thought I just got this from Tokyu Hands. Like, it wasn’t expensive. It was nice, but it wasn’t expensive. Like they’re sold everywhere. Why haven’t you gotten yourself, you know, a card holder. And they were just like, I didn’t know the right one to get. And I didn’t I didn’t want it to be offensive. And it was like this whole thing.
C
You can buy one for $2 at the airport when you arrive, like, literally.
K
And everyone has always been so, so impressed. Because everything I do has a card, I always get a card for it. In Japan, I find people remember you more when you have a card. And I always do English and Japanese. And I’m like Kinkos because there’s Kinkos in Japan. Kinkos does one side English one side Japanese, just – just tell them what you want. And you have to put in the Japanese that you want on it. Like they don’t translate it for you. I wouldn’t trust them to translate it for me.
C
Okay.
K
But – because I want to make sure it says what it’s supposed to. And so, like when we would have the double sided cars, it was such a huge deal and like good cardstock. And everyone’s like, where did you get this? How do you get this? And I’m like, it’s really not that expensive. You can just do it. And when I would tell Americans Kinkos – like there’s Kinkos in Japan? I’m like you yeah, but you can also get cards printed from a lot of convenience stores.
C
Yeah, they got cardstock – we get from a place called Mojo print. I don’t know you’re still in still in business because it’s been a few years since we’ve needed them. But that specializes in Japanese business cards and has an English website. Like it’s not hard.
K
And I think a lot of – a lot of cultural things that I find is that foreigners will put too much on it because of something they’ve heard or read from the outside.
C
Yeah, I was just thinking that like that, my impression was that once you offend a Japanese person, and they’re super easy to offend, they are forever offended.
K
Yeah, they’ll ghost you right forever.
C
And I haven’t found that to be the case at all.
K
I found inconvenience, I find that it’s not offense. I find that if you’re not a convenient friend. I have, like, one of my oldest friends in Japan, my schedule became inconvenient to them. And we haven’t talked since.
C
But that happened in the US to like we’d have temporary friends like in the US, it’s not usual to keep your work friends after you quit your job, because then you’re inconvenient.
K
Yeah, and I think that people don’t actually realize that there are universals to just being human, and the human experience. And I for me, there’s less – I say that I’m very othered here. But that’s an active choice. Y’all know, that’s an active choice. I’m working a route. And that’s part of my hustle is being other, and I enjoy it. I blend in when it suits me, and I other when it doesn’t, but there are so many universals to the human experience that transfer from country to country.
C
Right.
K
That I found was the same in France and Denmark and Sweden, we’ve been to a lot of different countries and Korea and Japan, just all around the world that are completely the same. And I think that if we start at that base level, that we’re all human, and trust each other’s humanity a bit more that we would have more fun when we travel. Instead of trying to do things the right way, if we tried to just be considerate, and try to just don’t be a jerk. And I think, don’t be a jerk. There’s some universal things to don’t be a jerk. And I think touching people is something that in the United States, I think is done too often. And I think a lot of Americans think it’s okay that they touched me. And I did not want to be touched. I don’t like being hugged. I don’t like being touched. I just want people to not touch me. And for me, I feel like that’s such a violation and such an act of aggression. And that’s universal. Like, you’ll find lots and lots of Americans that agree with me on this.
C
Yes.
K
And looking at it from the outside in, it’s one of the most controversial things that is talked about a lot outside of the United States. Inappropriate touching, when it doesn’t seem like it would be inappropriate. You know, like they – and I think that that that’s a good thing like back rubs. Unwanted back rubs, unwanted side hugs, unwanted overly friendliness.
C
Okay, any any human resources, sexual harassment video from the 90s.
K
Right. So I think, for me, the distance every year, I feel more distant from the United States than I did the year before. And I don’t know, like, for you, because so I started studying Japanese, again because I have this internal war that goes on in my head about whether or not to become a Japanese citizen.
C
Yeah.
K
And I don’t really know what the benefits to me would be, because I have permanent residency now. And I think the benefit would be to not be American. And I think on the days that America breaks my heart, is when I want to break up with America. Like, I don’t want to be American anymore. But I don’t know if that would actually impact it. But I’ve talked to other black folks here in Japan that are American that gave up their citizenship. And some of them say, yeah, they put down – just a lot of stuff just fell away. Yeah. And some of them say, no, I’m still in my head still struggling and still focused. AndI’m wondering if it would shift my political focus. And I find – I don’t find Japanese politics to be painful.
C
Right.
K
And like when I see them fighting in, like people jumping over desks and stuff in Parliament. That’s not weird to me. And I’m like, they’re just really passionate today.
C
Right, You can see the same thing in the Italian Parliament.
K
Yeah. And I also find it interesting, like when they’re sleeping. And
C
You you can see that in any parliament. You know, you can see that in Congress.
K
Yeah. And so for me, I don’t know if I would feel – if that would be the the final thing because I just find the vitriol in the United States just… now people are talking about it. It’s always been there.
C
Yeah. It has.
K
It’s always been there. And it hasn’t changed. And I just see it so clearly. And I, I really can only do five to 10 minutes of American news before I’m just devastated. If I do 15 I’m wrecked.
C
Well, I think because you’re not immersed in it all the time.
K
I’m not what?
C
Immersed in it all the time. Yeah. You know, Ruby Bridges, like Brown v. Board of Education was before you were born. So like, the US has not been good at any point in your life.
K
At all.
C
Or mine, because I’m younger, and on these things. And Japan is not great on these things, either. There’s there’s conflicts in Japan, but they don’t feel so personal to me.
K
They’re not so for me, the difference is no one’s dying.
C
Yeah.
K
And so for me, because no one’s dying. And I look at – you and I have like really different political views on Japan’s you know, phobia. I’m all for it. I’m like, if you haven’t gotten your buns back home yet, stay out of Japan, because you probably have COVID. And you’re like, that’s not right. They should let permanent residents and Japanese nationals. So I find that
C
I’m more expansive. I don’t think just permanent residents. I think anybody with a non tourist visa.
K
And I feel like they’ve been warning you for a month.
C
That’s not true, though.
K
Like, it was like, it is true. It is true. Because I’ve
C
They’ve been wanting for a long time that if this happens, but the actual notification, people had like 48 hours to get back.
K
If youunderstand Japanese culture, when they say if – it means it’s going to happen. If is when this happens, so for me, whenever I read, if this happens. I think okay, so they don’t know when it’s gonna happen yet.
C
Right.
K
But this is what they’re doing. And they’re notifying us. And anyone who’s lived here for a minute knows that. Like, you know that if and when, like, if it’s just we don’t know when yet.
C
Right.
K
So really come on. But I understand there are people that that leave for other reasons. And then like need to come back
C
like there. There’s people on Twitter right now, and Twitter people are real people, who their kids are here in Japan, because they’re Japanese citizens, and they can’t come back because they are not a Japanese citizen, only their spouses.
K
Why did they leave?
C
For whatever.
K
Okay, so they made choices.
C
But I feel like if this had happened when we had gone to France or Spain, you would be singing a very different song in French or Spanish respectively.
K
No, I wouldn’t. I would not. Because before we left, I always make sure we can come back. I am meticulous about it, and you’re like you shouldn’t have to be. And I’m like, it’s an illusion that in the United States, that it’s never an issue for American citizens to come back to United States. It is an issue for American citizens, you cannot always come back to the US. And you say that that’s not the case. But we saw that happen. America closes borders, even to Americans. And I know that because some of those were clients of mine who couldn’t go back to America. And it was jacking them up, and I had to explain that America has always had that policy. They just didn’t know it.
C
Well and if there are no flights, like you, you’re effectively shut out. Like if there are no flights and no passenger boats or anything. You can be effectively shut out even if there’s no rule.
K
Yes, but America made the decision that there could be no flights. So therefore, America closed its borders.
C
Yes.
K
And so I think that the America propaganda would say that no, we didn’t do that. Other countries decided that there wouldn’t that – they wouldn’t fly to the United States. But there was a time there was a window where the US borders were closed. US closed borders, I think probably the for the shortest amount of time of any country.
C
Yeah.
K
But being from the outside, and I’m like, Y’all close your borders. I don’t care what you’re calling it. Y’all closed your borders. You’re just not saying that as close to American citizens. But when they’re saying no movement, I find there’s a lot of backhanded speech. And I find that Japan is more direct, and just lays it out there. Like even if you’re a Japanese citizen, you can’t do this, like Japan is more upfront in your face. And I think American, you have to read the signs. So I think there’s different ways that you have to read the signs, right? Like, because in Japan if means when, and in the United States, they have this way of talking that lets you know when you’re excluded. And I can’t give an example. But there’s just
C
And I think that was always part of my problem with living in the US is that I didn’t catch those things.
K
Yeah. And I’d always tell you, this isn’t for us.
C
Right.
K
And you’re like, no, no, it’ll be fine. And I’m like, I don’t go where I’m not wanted.
C
Yes. I’m not great at spotting when I’m not wanted.
K
yeah. And so I want to mention, give a shout out to Puddin’, we didn’t mention Puddin’ last time, but I’m always encouraging Puddin’ to be – and everyone – to be their authentic selves. And if some because for me, it limits your opportunity of being your authentic self, to some extent limits your opportunities, in some ways that keeps you safe. And in some ways that opens doors for other opportunities. I don’t think it’s, I don’t think that anyone’s identity should be a reason to exclude them. I think that’s wrong.
C
No. But sometimes that happens, and I think maybe we’ll talk about this on another episode. But in my current job, in the interview, I said, I’m autistic and I’m epileptic.
K
Yeah.
C
And I have been saying that in interviews and getting a lot of places saying we’ll contact you at some point in the future. And knowing that this place doesn’t care. Like in the we’re not gonna hold this against you was the reason that I said it. So I could find someplace that I could be open about that.
K
And I was so proud of you, when you did that. I push really hard for you to do that.
C
Yeah.
K
And I like to live authentically, because I find that that’s where I feel safest, when I’m being all of my identity. And that’s one of the struggles I’m having with whether or not to go back to being a therapist. Because being all of my, all of who I am out loud, is really hard for clients. And the number one thing that people become really hostile about is me being asexual. And it’s so violent and strange. And like people will argue with me and get really, really angry. Or tell me you don’t understand. I’m like, I have a child. I’ve had sex, I enjoy sex. I’m sex positive asexual, I just find sex to be as interesting as eating a bagel or watching a good TV show, or recording this podcast – I actually find recording this podcast to be more interesting than sex.
C
Yeah.
K
And I think sex is a lot of work, a lot of preparation, a lot of maintenance. And I’m like, eh. And there’s a lot of work. And then afterwards, there’s like, it’s a whole thing.
C
It is a whole thing.
K
It’s a whole thing. And it’ll take up your whole day. And
C
People will try and fix it for you. Yeah, like I hadn’t even said it. But like, I got taken on a date. Without my knowledge or consent. I was like, whoa, now this is not what I agreed to. You’re paying me to teach you English.
K
Yeah. And so for me, I’m having that struggle. Because in Japan, nobody cares about my identity.
C
Right.
K
And my Japanese clients wouldn’t care. And they’ll be like, why are you telling me all of this?
C
You’re American. What more do I need to know?
K
Yeah, like, I’m here to see because you speak English. And I want to be in an English context. I don’t want to be in a Japanese context. So but Americans would have like, a really hard time with it. And I don’t know if I want to go back to being convenient.
C
which being convenient means being constantly told when you are slightly outside the edges.
K
Yeah. And it’s knowing beforehand, what will be out the edges, what, what edges. And I find that even that my LGBTQIA+ clients would have a really difficult time with me being asexual. And like,
C
it’s right there is the A. Like, yeah, but I like to stop after the T.
K
Yeah, everyone’s like, I like to just LGBTQ. And I do LGBTQIA+ and I could do – LGBTQIA2+ , and it doesn’t bother me. I don’t mind adding identities to that. You know, I think it’s it’s awesome to have a rainbow that we can all fit under. And you know when we’re not living in – that, you know, your binary world. So yeah, things from the outside end just really, really tripped me out. We didn’t do Spain, Spain from the outside in, blew my mind. Spain was so much better than I thought it was. It’s one of my favorite countries to visit and I totally want to go back. But, you know, that’s us for today. And – that was so abrupt. I’m like, we got to get to the take two. No, because y’all know that they’re working on our building. So we have like this window of opportunity to record, we’ve got to keep it tight today. So, you know, it’s our normal runtime. And we hope that you – thank you for taking your time to listen, we love each and every Musick Note. We appreciate each and every listen. Thank you so much. We’re in the top 10 every week on player FM for podcasts about Japan. Absolutely love it. We like blew past some big guns that have a lot of money behind them. And it just feels so good. Because we have very little money behind us. But you can help out and be a patron and follow us on over to Patreon. Yeah, I think we don’t advertise – I know we don’t advertise our Patreon anywhere but the podcast. But even three bucks helps and we could improve our sound quality – is something that we want to do next. And at three bucks, you get all kinds of goodies and fun stuff. And so check out our Patreon at The Musicks in Japan. And we’ll talk to you next week or we’ll talk to you in a few minutes over on the take two. Bye.
C
Bye
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