K: So, lately I’ve been thinking about how much Japan and the United States are alike. I think a lot of people focus on the cultural differences, but there are also tons of cultural similarities.

C: I think so. I think it’s like homologous evolution where the same parts develop on different animals that aren’t really genetically closely related.

K: What do you mean?

C: I mean like a lot of animals have flippers.

K: Okay.

C: Have evolved completely independently of each other because they fill the same need. So, I think that Japanese culture has a lot of things that fill the same… need or the same social desire as the same thing in the U.S. culture even though they don’t come from each other.

K: Yeah. So, for me, even when I look at the history of the two countries, there are so many similarities even though America is a much younger country – it’s still a colonizing country. So… if you look at, like, the territories – they used to be colonies. And the Hawaiian Islands, which are now a state, used to be colonies. And the Philippines used to be a colony. So, they’re both colonizers. And they’re both built on… that construct; that dynamic. And I feel like in terms of having like a deep… history, that Japan does have a deeper and longer history as a country. But I also kind of feel like World War 2 leveled things out culturally for a lot of… countries. I feel like World War 2 was a major, global reset.

C: I feel like it was a global reset, and I feel like the… Meiji Restoration in Japan was also a reset because, during the Meiji Restoration, they took a lot of the stuff that had been cultural, and they said, “we hate this. Don’t do this anymore.” Like, down to changing the language. As an example, which I learned in Japanese class, “zenzen” – anybody who speaks Japanese has probably been taught, “this is always used with negative and always means not at all.”

K: Mhm.

C: But before the Meiji Restoration, you could also say “zenzen” with a positive, and it meant “totally.”

K: Yeah.

C: And so, I think just down to the level of language, they decided, “we’re going to turn our back on our traditions and reject it because we have rebelled against that governmental system.” And I think the U.S. did the same thing in rebelling against… Great Britain.

K: Yeah.

C: Said, “we’re going to turn our back on that.” There wasn’t all that much history there, but there was still some history.

K: Yeah. Well, and then, two, I feel like the civil war also did that.

C: Yeah.

K: And the restoration afterwards. I don’t feel like the restoration was successful.

C: Oh, the reconstruction period.

K: Yeah, reconstruction. I don’t feel like it was successful, but whatever. So, for me, I’ve just been – this week – really seeing so ma- like, all of the cultures that are – if you look at the top 10 world powers, it’s not about military power anymore. I feel like during the Cold War, it was really about military power and that… American allies got their power from… the American nuclear arsenal. And… now, I don’t feel like it’s about nuclear powers. Because it used to be, “I have a nuclear bomb. That makes my country powerful.” But now everybody’s got them, and so it’s not as special and spectacular. And I think, now, it’s about trading and about money. And I feel like, in the 80s… Japan – I know the economy’s been in a depression, but in the 80s, Japan really commodified its culture.

C: I think that they did that, and they standardized manufacturing in a way that was really effective.

K: Yeah.

C: And went from being a joke – when I was growing up, “made in China” was… synonymous with “this product is crappy.”

K: Yeah.

C: But in the earlier 80s, “made in Japan” was synonymous with “this product is crappy.”

K: Yeah.

C: And they turned that around in what’s, in the literature, usually called “Japan Inc.”

K: Yeah.

C: Where they went and did corporate stuff and took over the world in terms of manufacturing quality perception.

K: Yeah.

C: And became the second largest economy in the world after the U.S. – I think they’ve dropped to number 3 now.

K: Yeah.

C: But for a long time they were, even though it’s not nearly as many people, and the economic system that makes that money is quite different.

K: Yeah, and I think that Japan did a really good job of taking the automotive industry away from the United States.

C: Yes.

K: And now the automotive industry is… pretty much dispersed around the globe – it’s not any one country that is king of the automotive industry.

C: Yeah, I think the last country I remember people saying, “they can never make cars” was South Korea. When they started making cars, the day where people were like, “they’re always going to be terrible” and then, like a year later, “oh okay these are good cars.”

K: Yeah.

C: And India is making cars. And… I think it’s pretty well understood now how to make cars.

K: And I think a lot of countries have decided not to make cars.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

K: Like, as an active choice. Like, Mexico – they could make cars successfully if they wanted to, but they’re like, “why? We can get really well-made cheap cars from… all over the world sent to use second-hand, slightly used” and it’s like a big auction. And in a lot of South American countries for second-hand cars.

C: Yeah, I know that

K: Central and South America.

C: I know that one of our listeners – who I consider a friend of mine – sent me a thing about his GPS.

K: We talk about him almost every (laughs) single episode.

C: We do. Yes. And I talked to him about it, and he said it’s fine. He likes it.

K: Does he notice it?

C: He notices it. He likes it.

K: No, seriously. Has he noticed?

C: Yes.

K: Because I was wondering if he noticed. How does he feel about sometimes when I call him puddin?

C: He loves it.

K: Yeah. (laughs) Because I always think of him as puddin – he’s just so creamy and sweet and always – it’s always time for puddin.

C: Yeah.

K: There’s never a bad time to have pudding. And that’s how I feel about this person: it’s never a bad time to have this person in our lives.

C: So, he sent me a message about “hey the GPS doesn’t know where this thing that I’m going to is.”

K: Uh-huh.

C: And I said, “why is your GPS in Japanese?” And he said, “yeah because we get all of our cars as used cars from Japan.”

K: Yeah.

C: Like, it’s horrifically expensive to buy a new car, but Japan ships most of its used cars overseas to South-East Asia, South Asia, and Africa.

K: It’s a huge – the Japan auctioneering site is huge. And one of the things that Japan has that I think is really cool but was terrifying when I first found out about it is something called the “shaken.” (pronounced: shah ken) So, the shaken – I refused to pronounce it correctly for like the first year I knew about it because I was shaken (pronounced: shaken).

C: (laughs)

K: I was so shook because when we bought – so, the shaken is – you have to get your car tested every two years. Like, when you first buy a car, you can get a 3-year shaken. And that’s guaranteed that at it meets the emission standards and… is road worthy.

C: Safety standards.

K: Yeah.

C: Yeah – is road worthy is a good way to put it.

K: So, it’s kind of like what the registration in the United States used to be when they did like a smog check and all of that. I don’t know – I can’t speak on what they do now.

C: They still do a smog check, but they don’t require that – for example – you don’t have to get your brakes tested to make sure they work.

K: Yeah, so you have to have all your fluids changed; you have to have your – you turn in your book that shows your maintenance of your car

C: Yeah.

K: And – this is in Japan – and if you haven’t been properly maintenancing your car, you may not get it. And – or you may get fined. So… there’s a huge – I think it’s called Auction 1 – I don’t know if that’s the right website. But there’s a huge website where Japan will ship cars globally. And you can just go online and order a previously owned car in Japan. And Japan has a really great reputation for their used cars because they have – because of the shaken. Because it can’t be on the road if it hasn’t been really well taken care of. So, there’s just a standard of care for the car that exists. And Japanese people have a tendency to not want used things.

C: Yeah.

K: Japanese prefer, culturally, prefer new things. And this is – I think I’ve talked about it before, but I think it’s so weird how we have individual air conditioning and heating units in each room. And if we were to move out of this apartment, they would want us to take this really expensive – like several thousand dollar – piece of equipment.

C: Hundreds.

K: For all of them.

C: For all of them… yeah, like 1500.

K: Because we have like 4.

C: Yeah. They’re only like 400 dollars each.

K: There are some that are like 1600.

C: Yes. We didn’t buy those ones.

K: Yeah.

C: Because they’re too expensive.

K: But they’re – we have one that’s really gorgeous that was more expensive.

C: Yes, that they

K: That’s in the entertainment area of the house.

C: That they upsold us on when we bought the apartment. So, I don’t think we would’ve gone and picked it out and said, “oh, that one.”

K: No, we did go pick it out, and I said, “oh, that one” because it matched the curtains and the table.

C: So, we went to the… we bought our apartment before it was finished.

K: Yeah.

C: And then they sent us to a specific store where they said you could pick out your furnishings.

K: Yeah.

C: As far as appliances and things. So, we picked out our appliances and everything for that.

K: Yeah.

C: So, yeah, we have a very pretty air conditioner that was… much more than the others because… it seemed like – what, it’s not very much money compared to the price of the apartment? But I wouldn’t pay that much money again.

K: No, I wouldn’t either. It runs the same. It is really pretty, though.

C: Yes.

K: It is really pretty. So… I think in terms of standards, I believe that… on surface-level that there is – so, I believe that both countries have the same propaganda machine.

C: Yeah.

K: But I think the propaganda is directed in really bizarre and different ways. So, I see like these things where we’re like – we’re culturally the same – but the expression of that culture is so bizarre. So, like… Japan: their propaganda is that “we hold ourselves to a higher standard” and that everything is of the highest quality – if it’s in Japan, if it’s made by Japan, it’s the highest quality. It’s going to last and… it’s meant to be with you the rest of your life. It’s going to be amazing. Whereas in America

C: Whereas we live down the street from Uniqlo.

K: Yeah.

C: The home of fast fashion.

K: Yeah.

C: Falls apart in three months. But you were going to say – whereas in the American

K: So, whereas in America they say, “we have a tier system. We have fast fashion and made for runway – really quick, disposable, not gonna last very long, but it’s going to be super cheap, and everybody can afford it. And then the next level is going to last a little bit longer, cost a little bit more, but it’s what the middle class does.” And it’s got like this 5-year warranty thing on it.

C: Mhm.

K: And then you’ve got the 10-year and 20 and lifetime and all of that. So, both of them have propaganda about the standard of living. But in America, it seems to be directed to distract people from how poor they are. In Japan, it seems to direct people to how their quality of life is good. How good their quality of life is. Even if it’s not.

C: I was thinking about this the other day because, in the U.S., we had wood floors that were solid wood.

K: Mmm. I loved our floors.

C: Basically indestructible.

K: Yes.

C: And here

K: Gorgeous.

C: Here, we have the vinyl. Which is… only lasts about ten years before it starts peeling.

K: No. No. I’m going to tell the truth about – I’m going to tell the truth about our vinyl story. So – nobody tells you, you can’t have rolling chairs on the fake vinyl.

C: Yes.

K: And I have rolling chairs. And y’all know we puzzle. If you don’t know, then… you’re a fan, but you’re not a Musick Note.

C: (laughs)

K: I’m sorry. I just have to put it out there.

C: That’s harsh.

K: Hey. Real talk, always coming at you.

C: Yes.

K: Because our Musick Notes know that we puzzle.

C: Yes, they do.

K: and that we’re a puzzling family. And so, when we puzzle, we sit at our kitchen table, and we have rolling chairs because I enjoy rolling chairs. And you can tell wherever I’ve sat because I have stripped – not only have I stripped the vinyl off, but then I take my chair, and I roll it back and forth to make it smooth. So, it’s stripped and smooth.

C: Yes.

K: Not bragging. Just, you know, saying who I am. And – because I don’t want you to get splinters in your feet.

C: Okay so, but then we had an earthquake a couple of weeks ago.

K: Oh, that earthquake was terrifying.

C: And I thought, “you know, if this were a solid floor, it would have probably torn the floor apart.”

K: Yeah, because it was a big one.

C: Like, it wouldn’t have

K: But it didn’t swing the paintings.

C: Well, the paintings are on special earthquake… braided steel things.

K: Yeah, but the 3/11 earthquake moved the parents.

C: Yes, well that was a thousand times bigger.

K: Okay. So, for me, that’s

C: It was a hundred times bigger.

K: So, I put it – so, every time there’s a big earthquake, I jump up, I put on my pants, and I go stand staring at the paintings.

C: Yes.

K: While I chant “please stop.” I’m like, “please stop, please stop, please stop” the whole time the earthquake is happening. And I’m like, I’m not going to worry until the paintings start swinging. And then the paintings have to be swinging enough to be banging against the wall. Not just like rocking back and forth – and our paintings weren’t moving at all.

C: Yeah.

K: And like the masks we have hanging from the walls – like, nothing… fell. And I don’t know why I don’t just use my night table that’s, like, crammed full of crap and wait until something falls off of that, but…

C: So, 3/11 – the big earthquake in March 11^th of 2011

K: With the tsunami and everything.

C: I was at Nagoya University at the time. Not when it hit – I was at home when it hit – but I was attending Nagoya University working as a TA. And they told me, “oh, yeah. These three buildings are the three buildings on campus that are not earthquake safe. They haven’t ever been retrofit.”

K: Mm.

C: But they’re probably still fine.

K: (laughs)

C: Like, they didn’t fall down from that earthquake. They’re probably still fine. And I think about the analogous thing in the U.S. of… you have to retrofit your house or building or whatever to be earthquake safe only if you do other modifications.

K: Yes. Which we learned from modifying our house.

C: Right. So, you can have a building up that’s completely unsafe as long as you don’t do any maintenance on it.

K: Yes.

C: Which leads to perverse incentives where people just don’t do maintenance because, if you do maintenance, then you have to catch it up to code.

K: Yeah.

C: And, in Japan, the same thing happens. They’re starting to build some buildings that last longer, but it used to be that… they would build apartments and things with the intent that, after 20 years, the building would be completely useless. You’d have to tear it down and start over.

K: Yeah. And so, like, the building that my offices are in – it’s much scarier for me to be there during an earthquake because it’s older than the foundations

C: It’s 1972.

K: Yeah. So, it’s a really old building. And the building that our son lives in is a really old building as well. And so, those buildings make me a little bit more nervous

C: Yeah.

K: Because they haven’t been retrofitted. But the families that own those buildings – as long as they don’t sell them, and they keep them in their family, they don’t have to retrofit them. So, just like all of the… brick buildings in San Francisco

C: Right. You can’t build new ones, but if you have an existing one, you can keep it.

K: Yeah. And so, there was that one church that was like really going through it. “We’re a brick church, should we take it down or not?” And then tried to do some weird stuff to it, and then they ended up tearing it down because an earthquake damaged it. But… like… the whole propaganda after – so, I remember Loma Prieta, which was a huge earthquake in California. And it was really quite devastating.

C: That was 1989.

K: Yeah. And it was the same type of propaganda came out afterwards. So, like, Japan acts like we’re okay, but we’re not. We’re still recovering.

C: Yeah.

K: And… the landscape of… northern California and… how you get from Oakland to San Francisco is completely different now. And, like, the Bay Bridge fell apart. And so…

C: And I moved there in 95, and they still hadn’t rebuilt the Fell Street onramp.

K: Yeah. When we left, they still hadn’t rebuilt the Fell Street onramp. I don’t think they’re going to.

C: No, and I don’t think they decide they were never going to.

K: It was like a major onramp in San Francisco. So, for us – oh, our friend that lives in San Francisco, hey.

C: (laughs)

K: Which is different than puddin – hey, did they – have they redone the Fell Street onramp? It’d be interesting to know.

C: I don’t think so.

K: We’ll probably text and ask you before you even hear this, but

C: Yeah.

K: It’s like, “hey, we have a friend in San Francisco that will know.”

C: We have friends all over the world.

K: You do. But I don’t know if they even go near Fell Street.

C: I’m not sure. They don’t live in that neighborhood. I’m not going to say what neighborhood they do live in

K: Yeah.

C: I know it, but not that neighborhood. But – just, we have Musick Notes everywhere, so if you’re thinking

K: We do.

C: Dirty thoughts about us, just beware. There could be a Musick Note nearby.

K: (laughs) Because we have Musick Notes in over 30 countries.

C: Yes.

K: And we’re in every region – which I’m super proud of – our podcast is listened to in every region of the world except Antarctica. And I’m wondering what the heck.

C: And I keep telling you that it’s file size. They only have internet for a certain number of hours per day, they have a slow connection – it’s a whole thing.

K: It still bothers me. Like, why wouldn’t – I guess it wouldn’t show.

C: It wouldn’t show

K: Like, they can download it and take it

C: If they download it all and take it. And they’re like, “I’m glad I’m going to Antarctica, so I have time to listen to the” hundred or however many episodes we’re at right now. I think we’re at

K: I think we’re at like 102 or 103.

C: Yeah, one of those.

K: Because we’re on top of things.

C: We are on top of things.

K: Yeah. We stay – no, I think this is 102. I’m gonna go

C: No, it’s

K: It’s 103?

C: Yeah.

K: I’m gonna go with 102. We won’t know. Like, we won’t pay attention. I’m gonna pretend that we do, but y’all know us better than that.

C: I’ll bet a dollar and Kisstopher will pay attention. Because

K: I’m not betting you a dollar because I don’t know at all.

C: Okay, see? See how serious she is about that dollar?

K: (laughs) Says the man who quit betting me dollars because you were three dollars down.

C: I was four dollars down. I think

K: You were 4 dollars down?

C: Yeah. Three dollars

K: I thought you were three dollars down.

C: No. At three dollars, a man can still struggle back.

K: (laughs)

C: At four dollars, there’s no chance.

K: Whenever we have a disagreement, we bet each other a dollar. Like, you know – I think the sky is blue I think the sky is purple, I bet you a dollar it’s blue. And so, something like if you think that you’re 100% sure, put your money where your mouth is. Bet a dollar. (laughs)

C: And I lost most of my dollars about movies and who was in movies because I cannot tell people apart.

K: No, this is such propaganda. That is so not true. You have a bad habit of pretending that you’ve seen movies that you have not seen. So, don’t act like you were victimized.

C: I have a bad habit of talking as though I have seen movies I have not seen.

K: You deliberately have misled me about movies you’ve seen that you didn’t want to see.

C: You have chosen to be misled.

K: No. I have not. But I did introduce you to Jamie Stewart. And you’re really happy for it. You didn’t like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington as much as you liked… Harvey.

C: Harvey. Yeah.

K: And I think it’s so weird with the whole like filibuster argument. I think they need to watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and have people like really care. There’s this one dude that just gets up there and really cares so much, but there’s not a single senator or congressperson that cares as much as Jamie Stewart’s character cared.

C: Because they did away with the talking filibuster.   

K: Yeah. And I think if you’re going to filibust, you need to take your ass to the floor and filibust. Like, don’t go up there and like… reading Green Eggs and Ham and all that – that’s cute. That’s cute but go up there with the phone book and read and do it the old-fashioned way where if you relent the floor to anyone, you lose it. So that you can’t go to the bathroom – I want diapers. I want people in diapers, like

C: Snaps on that.

K: If you’re going to filibust, filibust.

C: Okay. Normalize wearing diapers.

K: (laughs)

C: What? Some people have to, so I think normalizing it…

K: Yeah.

C: Totally reasonable.

K: And they’re super comfortable. I’ve had so many surgeries that I’ve worn diapers over my lifetime. I’m not currently wearing any, but they’re, like, way more comfortable than you’d expect. Adult diapers.

C: Mhm.

K: They’re like super soft. The… rim. So, I have like scars on my tummy, so regular underwear, like, fall right on a scar. But the diapers never did that. They were like – I guess cuz they’re so long they like sit right under my boobs.

C: Mhm.

K: I don’t know.

C: But both Japan and the U.S. have them.

K: Yeah. And another way that they’re the same is that… the vitriol. The political vitriol is the same level.

C: Yes.

K: Like if you watch – so, for me, the first time I ever watched… the parliament, a fistfight broke out.

C: Mhm.

K: And it was so cool to see because I was sitting in a doctor’s office. I was bored as heck, and like… didn’t speak any Japanese at all. So, all I know is I saw the look – I saw the “what’d you just say to me?” look. And then the dude – I could tell was like had “I’m popping off at you” face. And then the dude jumped over the desk and just started wailing on this other dude, and then it turned into like a brawl. Like you see on a baseball field would be my closest example.

C: Yeah, so the politics: like, the U.S. has the two parties, right now, that dominate most national level politics.

K: Yeah.

C: And Japan has a bunch of parties, but the same party has been in power all but three years since World War 2.

K: Yeah.

C: But that’s just the same name of the party because Japanese politics – parties like come and go.

K: Yeah, they do.

C: There’ll be an issue, and there will be a political party around it a week later.

K: (laughs) Yes, there will be.

C: And they’ll get a few seats in the parliament, and then they’ll… join the coalition with some other parties to get some legislation passed, and then the next election they won’t have any people in parliament.

K: So, I feel like another way that Japan and the United States are the same, but Japan is more honest about… is that the – the federal government cannot tell a prefecture what to do. And so, like, in the United States, everybody’s looking at the president to do these mandates.

C: Yeah.

K: And… I feel like most Americans don’t understand state sovereignty. At least when they’re talking about it – at least, they don’t talk about it on the news. Like, the federal government – that’s how you can have legalized recreational marijuana in the district of Columbia and Colorado even though it’s federally illegal is because of state sovereignty. A state has a right to make state-level laws and rules. And so, when you’re looking at like mask mandates and whether or not to open or close or whatever, the governor is basically the president of that state.

And the legislature body is – does function like the federal legislature. Here, in Japan, the government comes out and says, “hey. We cannot make any of the prefectural governors do anything.” And the prefectural governors cannot make any of the city mayors do anything. So, it is up to your city’s mayor to manage your resources.

C: Yeah.

K: And they don’t pretend otherwise. And, like

C: The whole thing is run by a bureaucracy, so it’s all executive branch. And they know it.

K: Yeah.

C: And I think that’s the difference in the U.S. is the president says something, and they’re like, “oh, we’re going to make administrative law” which is where you don’t pass it through congress. You just… this is within the purview of the president to make. And Japan doesn’t recognize that concept.

K: At all.

C: So, like

K: And the school boards don’t even listen to the mayor.

C: “If you want us to change, pass a law.”

K: Yeah.

C: Oh, you can’t because only the national government can pass the law. So, you could have your rulebook about how you interpret those laws. Unless the court comes and tells you, you must change them, they don’t change them.

K: Yeah.

C: But every place interprets them slightly differently.

K: And another way that… the United States and Japan’s culture are the same is the stratification.

C: Yes.

K: And I think that… like, what’s not known – we might’ve talked about this before. The homeless population that is living inside internet cafes and capsule hotels, but they’re actually homeless. They don’t have a home. And… they sleep in like these really tiny cubbyholes, so they’re not out on the street.

C: They’re not unsheltered.

K: Yeah.

C: But I think the population of unsheltered people in both countries is so much lower than the homeless population.

K: Yeah.

C: Because I was homeless for years, but I was only unsheltered for like a week.

K: Yeah.

C: Because I would couch surf, or I would find aa temporary place to stay or whatever.

K: Yeah.

C: But not having a permanent place to stay, like living I – I lived in a vehicle in somebody’s backyard for like 6 months. Homeless but not considered unsheltered because I had a roof over me.

K: And so, I find that interesting because, in Japan, Japan makes the difference between homeless and unsheltered.

C: Yeah.

K: And the United States doesn’t.

C: Right. And I think certain groups do, but I think the United States – I think it’s political, and I think a lot of times it’s like, “look at how big the population is. There’s nothing we could do to possibly help them.”

K: Mm.

C: In San Francisco in particular, which has a large

K: Well, if you look at pre-Reagan, post-Reagan, closing all of the mental hospitals in California – that didn’t help.

C: See, I think closing the mental hospitals was a good thing if it had been done with community care; with funding community care and that kind of thing. I think what Reagan did wasn’t just

K: Not for California. Maybe in other states, but not for northern California.

C: I think what Reagan did wasn’t just close all the mental hospitals. He just yanked all mental health funding.

K: Yeah.

C: And so, it had the effect of throwing everybody onto the street.

K: Yeah.

C: Rather than saying, you know what, congrecare is not great. It’d be better to have people in their own homes and receiving care there.

K: Yeah.

C: That wasn’t what happened. They just said, “okay, you crazies, get out.”

K: Yeah. And Japan doesn’t have a lot of mental hospitals.

C: They don’t.

K: And Japan doesn’t – so, like, when it comes to mental health care, I don’t feel like Japan is on par with the United States. I don’t feel – except – so, it’s weird. So, like, in some places Japan is way better than the United States. Like, in Japan, I could literally go to my doctor and say, “I’m stressed out. I need 30 days’ leave from my job.”

C: Yeah.

K: And they will write a note, and I will get 30 days’ leave. And then I have to go back to work for at least a week, and then I can take another 30 das off depending on the count – depending on the company rather, some of those pay partially. And depending on where you’re at with your… payment in terms of your… unemployment, some people get a small stipend during that time.

C: Yeah.

K: In the United States, you can’t do that.

C: No.

K: But in the United States, you can go to almost any emergency room and check yourself in to a hospital.

C: Yeah, and here… the categorization is different. So, I’m considered mentally disabled and physically disabled because epilepsy is considered a mental disability.

K: Yeah.

C: Whereas in the U.S., they’re like, “it’s a purely physical thing. It’s neurology. It’s just like… a result of the way your brain is wired. This is not your thinking.”

K: Yeah.

C: And I think the distinction is not so sharp. I think you, as a therapist, probably agree with me.

K: Yeah.

C: That the line between mental and physical health is not as bright as people would say it is.

K: Yeah. It’s way more subtle. And, when it starts to impact functionality

C: Right. But in Japan, if it impacts your brain, even if it’s purely neurological – like, epilepsy and cerebral palsy and Parkinson’s and stuff, they’re like, “you’re mentally disabled.” I’m like, “no, my thinking is fine.”

K: And in Japan, it’s harder to get labeled as disabled.

C: Yeah, it is.

K: Because, if you’re verbal, and you use traditional speech, you cannot get a diagnosis of autism in Japan.

C: Right.

K: It’s almost impossible. If you are… non-traditionally verbal, they will label you as autistic even if it’s a speech impediment. And then I fight for those kids because I’m like, “this child is not autistic. They have a severe speech impediment.” And I explain what the speech impediment is, and they say, “well, once you fix it, we will stop calling them autistic.” And I’m like, “What?”

C: Yeah.

K: “Yeah, you can cure their autism.” I’m like, “that’s not how autism works.”

C: (laughs) No.

K: If I could go around curing autism and curing speech defects and all of those sorts of things, I would just tour the world doing it – for people who wanted it. I personally would not want my husband to not be autistic. I enjoy you being autistic personally is my preference.

C: Thank you. I enjoy being myself.

K: Yeah. Because I like who you are. I don’t know who you would be. That feels like a big risk. I don’t know, you might be like – I don’t know.

C: I might be

K: You might be into surprises, and you might be like all spur of the moment and spontaneous. And I’m making a nasty face right now because I don’t like any of those things.

C: Okay, I’ll tell you the most horrifying thing.

K: And inconsistent.

C: I’ll tell you the most horrifying thing.

K: What?

C: I’d probably be like one of my brothers.

K: (laughs) No. Uh-uh. Nope.

C: Because I grew up with them. Same time, same places, same experiences.

K: And they are all so different.

C: They are. That’s why I said one of them, not all of them.

K: (laughs) And I wouldn’t want none of them. And if y’all are Musick Notes, whatever. Because I doubt that you are because you are not supportive. (laughs)

C: Trifling. That’s the one thing they all have in common.

K: (laughs)

C: That’s a world I learned from you.

(laughter)

K: Yup. (laughs) So, like, legitimately – so, everybody knows social media, if you put your birthday into it, it will alert the people that it is your birthday. And you have one sibling that, like, randomly every couple of years – not in the month of your birthday – will wish you happy birthday.

C: It’s usually just a few days later.

K: Oh, just a few days later.

C: Yeah.

K: Okay. Like that’s better.

C: Yeah. On LinkedIn.

K: Yeah. Because, you know. And I think it’s because they don’t want to get caught by their wife talking to you on Facebook

C: Yeah, that could be.

K: Because I think their wife checks their Facebook.

C: Yeah.

K: Because their wife absolutely hates us because they sent you a racist joke, and you’re like, “you’re racist.”

C: Yeah. “Please stop telling racist jokes.”

K: Yeah. (laughs)

C: They were like, “no. I’m going to keep telling racist jokes.”

K: Yeah. And so, that whole thing. So

C: But if you go to my LinkedIn, you still can’t find out who he is because I have that feature turned off because it’s a creepy, creepy feature.

K: What do you mean?

C: I mean that… one of the ways that Japan and the U.S. are similar is in how creepy people are about business connections.

K: What do you mean by that?

C: I mean

K: How are people creepy about business connections? What are you even talking about.

C: I’m talking about datamining. I’m talking about the number of recruiters who asked to connect with me on LinkedIn even though I – even when I was – when I had the “I’m hiring” banner on there because I was hiring.

K: Yeah.

C: They wanted to connect with me. And then they want to look at my connections and see if any of those people are looking for a job. But I have it turned off, so just because you’re connected with me doesn’t mean you can see my connections.

K: Yeah. I’m not on LinkedIn, so I don’t know – I encouraged you to be on LinkedIn years and years ago.

C: Yeah. And if you were on LinkedIn – if you were on LinkedIn, nobody could tell whether or not you and I were connected.

K: But I’m not on LinkedIn. I just said I’m not on LinkedIn.

C: Exactly. Exactly. It’s a whole

K: Why are you making it sound like I’m secretly on LinkedIn? I’m not on LinkedIn.

C: No, you’re not.

K: So, like you’re trying to make me more mysterious than I am. I’m not mysterious. I am not on LinkedIn.

C: Okay, but

K: I have no reason to be on LinkedIn. That would be so creepy. I don’t like therapists that like – I know therapists that go on LinkedIn and used that to get clients. And I don’t see how that works.

C: I don’t, either.

K: That’s so creepy. Like, “oh, I see you’re having a hard time at work.” Like, I don’t know. Are people using LinkedIn like a journal and putting all their business on it?

C: Mostly not. But we were talking about stratification, which is what made me think of LinkedIn.

K: Stratification?

C: Yeah.

K: Yeah, okay. Yeah. We were talking about stratification.

C: In the U.S., everybody I ask, “what do you do for work?” And there’s only a few acceptable answers that will put them on – put you on “the level.”

K: Yeah.

C: It’s gotta be like, I’m an Engineer, I’m a doctor, I’m a lawyer, or I don’t work because I’m just too rich to work. And now I guess, I’m a social media influencer is now like that, “okay, which – are you homeless or are you really rich?” Because I don’t know which one.

K: (laughs)

C: It’s probably one of them.

K: What’s your platform?

C: Yeah.

K: So, did you know Snapchat is considered an outdated, stale platform now?

C: Yes, I did.

K: I called it.

C: You did.

K: I called it. I said, “this is not gonna – nope, Snapchat’s not gonna work. Because TikTok has just completely overtaken Snapchat.

C: So, in Japan, they don’t ask what do you do for work because the majority of people would be like, “I’m a kaishain” – “I’m a company worker.”

K: Yeah.

C: Okay, but what does that mean? “It means I’m a company worker.” What does that mean?

K: I work for a company.

C: It means, “I do whatever random thing they tell me to do because I have no actual skills that they have allowed me to develop.”

K: (laughs) That is so not true. That is such horrible propaganda.

C: No, no. We talked about this before.

K: That’s for freshman kaishain. That’s not like

C: Yeah.

K: And so, for me, it was really confusing when people were like, “I’m a junior employee” – that means something completely different. Because if you’re like

C: Or “I’m a senior person”

K: Yeah. “I’m a senior person” I didn’t get it. So, I’m like, “what are you talking about?” And so, like, people are really happy to not be sophomores. To be juniors.

C: Yeah.

K: Which is so weird because they’re taking like an American high school or American college system that they don’t use here.

C: Yes.

K: And then applying that to

C: Yeah, high school here is 3 years, so yeah.

K: Yeah. And then applying it to company structure and then being disappointed when I’m not impressed. But I’m like, “you can tell me you’re the owner of a company. I don’t know what that means.” I – like, any business stuff, I don’t know what it means. Because I’m not, like – I don’t interact with people on that level. That’s not my mentality.

C: So, when I was in the Bay Area, people would be like, “oh, what do you do?” “I’m a programmer.” “What do you work?” And I’d be like, “oh, I work at Autodesk.” And they’d be like, “mentally, my rolodex… okay, so you make like average money. Okay, whatever.” Here, in Japan, instead of asking what you do and where you work, they just ask “how much money do you make?”

K: Yeah. We talked about that before.

C: yeah. But still the purpose is still stratification.

K: So, I find it interesting because, for you, people ask how much money you make. For me, people ask what’s my nearest subway station.

C: Like

K: They ask where I live.

C: Oh, where you live?

K: Yeah. They ask where I live. And so, people are like, “so, what neighborhood do you live in? Do you know your ku – do you know your ward? What’s your nearest train station?” I’m like, “well, near Nagoya Dome. My nearest train station is Nagoya Dome Mae Yada, but I’m also like a 5-minute walk away from Ozone station.” Because that doesn’t tell them anything about where I live.

C: Yeah.

K: And I’m near Meijo University.

C: I live in a neighborhood of 80,000 people. Good luck.

K: Yeah. And I’m near Meijo University, and I’m also near the Nagoya Dome Aeon. And so, they’re like, “so, where do you live?”

C: Nunya business.

K: “I live near a transportation hub. That’s where I live.”

C: And other people would be like, “I live near Tsurumai park.” Okay, do you live in the park?

K: (laughs)

C: Or do you live near the park?

K: I remember talking someone into – I do not know why they listened to me at all, but they asked me, “should I move near Tsurumai park?” And their work was like really far and inconvenient to get to from Tsurumai park, and I was like, “no. You should live in company housing.” And they were like, “where would you live? Would you live in company housing?” And I’m like, “no. Because I’m too independent for that.”

C: Right.

K: And so, they took that as a challenge on their independence, and they lived in Tsurumai Park. Isolated away from everybody.

C: Near Tsurumai Park. Near the park.

K: Did I say in?”

C: Yeah, you did.

K: (laughs)

C: Unintentional shade.

K: (laughs) Well, I didn’t like the person. So, I was just counting the years until they would leave, and I guessed how many years they would be here, and I was exactly right. And when they left, I did a happy dance. So, I get really happy when – I’ve said this before – whenever foreigners leave that I don’t like – and when Japanese leave that I don’t like – that’s like (sword sound effect) extra bonus.

C: Yeah, we had

K: Because if I don’t like somebody, I don’t want them to live in t he same country as me.

C: We had a neighbor for years who – who was not great as a neighbor, and then he moved, and it was like “yay.”

K: Yeah. They had a cat. That they were obsessed with and felt the need that we should care about their cat. I don’t care about their cat.

C: No. Me neither.

K: So, I’m not going to care about my neighbors’ pets. And then there was another neighbor that had – that moved out of the building that I’m really, really happy because at the same time of day that I would be going to work, they would bring their dog on the elevator with me – which I just didn’t like. And then feel the need for me to talk about how cute their dog is. I thought their dog stunk, and I didn’t understand why they didn’t use the washing station.

C: Okay.

K: Because we have a washing station for dogs. Like, wash your dog dude. Come on. And eww. Gross. I don’t wanna be on the elevator with your dirty, stinky dog. And they’re all lapdogs in Japan.

C: But you know sometimes there are

K: And they’re all lapdogs in Japan because big dogs are prohibited.

C: You have to be able to carry your pet in your arms for this building.

K: Yes.

C: But yeah, it was interesting. Every once in a while, something fun will happen. A couple of years ago, I was on the elevator with one of our neighbors.  And they turned to me, and they said in English, “I am not Japanese.”

(laughter)

C: “I am Chinese, and I speak English fluently.”

(laughter)

C: I was like, rock on.

K: Like, what are we doing with that?

(laughter)

K: What (laughs) I do find that more – in the United States, I find that people would say random stuff to you, too.

C: Yeah.

K: I don’t know what it is about you, but everywhere – if there is a person that is gonna beeline to somebody and say something completely random and slightly inappropriate, you.

C: Yeah.

K: Like, everywhere we go in the world. And this is has been like – because we’ve been to like 10 or 15 different countries – and every time we’re in one of those countries, it happens.

C: Yeah.

K: I’m like, what is it – how are you attracting these people? Because you don’t seem like the most open person.

C: I do.

K: That’s not your energy.

C: I am open. I have zen-like calm.

K: (laughs) I don’t know how people are getting that off of you. I don’t get that all.

C: No, you don’t. And you never have.

K: I never have.

C: No.

K: Pinch, poke. We always do pinch, poke – it’s like pinch poke owe me a coke if you – kind of like a jinx. But I don’t like to do jinx because the rules of jinx is that the person can’t talk until you say they can. And I – the first time I did pinch, poke to you, you said, “don’t inch me.” (laughs) And I said, “I just did. I pinched you and I poked you.” You were like, “no, you didn’t.” (laughs) You were on guard all day because you didn’t know what it was.

C: Well because if you’re lying about it, what happens when you decide to make it true?

K: (laughs) And I had to s pend years telling you I’m not gonna poke you.

C: Yeah.

K: Because I have a bad habit of talking with knives in my hand.

C: But you didn’t say you’re not gonna pinch me.

K: Yeah, no.

C: “Pinch, poke, I’m not gonna poke you.” Are you gonna pinch me?

K: (laughs) Yes. I pinch you all the time. And you consistently, you have not enjoyed it for 20 years. So, I’m not abusive because I don’t leave any marks, and I don’t do it to the point that it hurts.

C: Yeah, it’s a very gentle.

K: It’s sensorily – because what Chad qualifies as a pinch is me grabbing his butt. And I’m like, “I’m not gonna live a life where I can’t grab the sexiest butt on earth. That’s just not happening.”

C: I have never tried to stop you from grabbing your own butt.

K: I have told you for years since before we first got together that I am going to grab your ass.

C: You have.

K: And you can’t stop me. And so, if you can’t tolerate having a little bit of grab ass in your life.

C: I married you despite the threats.

K: It was I have grabbed your ass as I was saying it. I was not threatening, I was making a commitment to you. That the rest of our lives together, I promise I will always grab your ass.

C: Okay, so one final similarity before we wrap up.

K: Is that I grab your ass wherever we are in the world.

C: Yeah, there’s that. But it’s a good one. It’s that Japan is slow, but Shibuya is recognizing same-sex marriages.

K: Oh, yes. Love wins.

C: And the courts have ruled that they’re right to do so, and that it’s probably illegal not to.

K: Yeah. Unconstitutional.

C: Yeah. So, it’s probably going to take a few years, but it looks like marriage equality will come to Japan. And that will be awesome.

K: That will be awesome. Love wins. I want like every countr – I know every country won’t because there are some companies that are based – that are like completely religious countries. But love wins, yay. I’ll be so happy when people can come over and be on a spouse visa and be in the same… same-sex union.

C: Yeah.

K: That would be so awesome.

C: That will be. So, that was my final similarity. Not all bad stuff. Some of it’s good, too.

K: I don’t think we were listing all bad stuff. Were we?

C: No. It was mostly neutral. It’s mostly just comic observation without the comedy.

K: (laughs) Add a little bit of grabass.

C: Yes. So, thank you for joining us. We’re going to head on over to the take two.

K: Yeah. And on the take two, we’re talking about representation and hiring narrators for books. So, it’s gonna be super interesting. (laughs)

C: See you there.

K: It’s going to be super interesting. Become a patron and listen to the take twos.

C: Yes. We’ll see you there, or we’ll see you next week.

K: Bye.

C: Bye.